O.T. David Beckham Makes his US debut Tonight.....

[AR]

The NFL is better, SORRY and no offense. Kicking a round ball around and throwing piss bottles over it is stupid.

[Skylorde]

Soccer is popular worldwide because yoou don't need anything execpt a ball. Most kids that grow up with soccer are in impoverished nations. Not ALL kids, but most kids.....you just need a ball.

Most kids couldn't afford american football equipment, or baseball stuff.

And I second Dave's emotion......BORING.

But I WILL say this. I've added up the PLAYING time in american football. The players only play around EIGHT to TEN minutes a game(per team). The rest is the time just ticking away. This, to me, is BORING, as well. Imagine getting paid 10 million a year for just 160 minutes of playing time?!

Initially I thought of the same points you did but on the other hand, when I was kid we never wore football equipment when we played in the neighborhood. All we needed was a football and off we went.

My mother used to tell me they played baseball during the great depression with sticks and some mucked up ball.

Soccer probably is the #1 sport worldwide but frankly I could give a fuck less. Americans' have traditionally not followed "what everyone else is doing" and we did our own thing which is where baseball and our version football comes from.

If anyone likes soccer, fine. Don't fucking belittle us because we don't follow lock-step with Europe, South America, etc when it comes to soccer.

[treetopovskaya]

i like soccer... especially during world cup. nothing beats hockey though! trainging camp starts next month... WOOHOO!!!!! }=C))

deano... a lot of hockey dudes also play soccer. };C)

[Rockindeano]

i like soccer... especially during world cup. nothing beats hockey though! trainging camp starts next month... WOOHOO!!!!! }=C))

deano... a lot of hockey dudes also play soccer. };C)

I know. They play it to keep the coordination but notice they play in the NHL for money. The Sedin boys could have played soccer for the Swedish nat'l team, but chose Vancouver and the NHL instead.

[AR]

Soccer riots






Nice job Euros.

[Matthew]

Soccer riots


Nice job Euros.

You're right, AR. We really must learn to play this game instead:

[chf34jmac]

At least that's the teams fighting and not the stupid fucking fans.

[Matthew]

At least that's the teams fighting and not the stupid fucking fans.

Oh that's alright then.

[conversationpc]

Soccer riots


Nice job Euros.

You're right, AR. We really must learn to play this game instead:

Show me where anyone is rioting OR fighting in that picture. I don't see it.

[chf34jmac]

Yeah it is Okay. They are the ones with the stake in winning or losing. Pay scales have performance bonuses in professional sports here.

[AR]

Soccer riots


Nice job Euros.

You're right, AR. We really must learn to play this game instead:

Yes you should. There is nothing better.

And as much as NFL fans can be drunken idiots, they are much more civilized than soccer fans throwing urine bottles and lighting flares in the stands.







WTF is wrong with these people?

[Matthew]

Soccer riots


Nice job Euros.

You're right, AR. We really must learn to play this game instead:

Show me where anyone is rioting OR fighting in that picture. I don't see it.

Well, there seems to be a lot of kicking and punching...and meanwhile the ball is lying quietly on its own in the bottom right hand corner. But maybe this IS how this bone-headed game is played.

[conversationpc]

Soccer riots


Nice job Euros.

You're right, AR. We really must learn to play this game instead:

Show me where anyone is rioting OR fighting in that picture. I don't see it.

Well, there seems to be a lot of kicking and punching...and meanwhile the ball is lying quietly on its own in the bottom right hand corner. But maybe this IS how this bone-headed game is played.

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

[chf34jmac]

I believe that is what is know in football as a fumble which is a free ball. The reason they appear to be fighting is that the team that recovers the fumble is now on offense.

[AR]

Ok, I just about spit my orange juice all over my keyboard.

[Matthew]

WTF is wrong with these people?

God knows...but the problem has pretty much gone away in the UK. When I was a kid going to soccer matches in the 1980s there was violence pretty much every other week.

Football violence is still a regular feartures of Italian matches though. A couple of years ago an Inter Milan fan even threw a motobike off the top tier of the stadium on to the visiting supporters below.

The trouble is these fans - known as Ultras - often have close links with the clubs themselves and extreme political groups too.

[Matthew]

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

I stand corrected. Please remember Dave that I am used to watching the elegance and beauty of soccer - and not a bunch of padded up meatheads barging each other around - so it looked like a fight rather than a 'strategic move'.

[NealIsGod]

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

I stand corrected. Please remember Dave that I am used to watching the elegance and beauty of soccer - and not a bunch of padded up meatheads barging each other around - so it looked like a fight rather than a 'strategic move'.

Actually, there was.

http://www.cbc.ca/sports/story/2006/10/ ... worth.html

[conversationpc]

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

I stand corrected. Please remember Dave that I am used to watching the elegance and beauty of soccer - and not a bunch of padded up meatheads barging each other around - so it looked like a fight rather than a 'strategic move'.

Elegance and beauty? Like this...

Boy, he elegantly laid one upside that guys beautiful head, huh?

[Matthew]

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

I stand corrected. Please remember Dave that I am used to watching the elegance and beauty of soccer - and not a bunch of padded up meatheads barging each other around - so it looked like a fight rather than a 'strategic move'.

Actually, there was.

http://www.cbc.ca/sports/story/2006/10/ ... worth.html

Now THAT is funny...

Talk me through those moves again Dave....

[conversationpc]

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

I stand corrected. Please remember Dave that I am used to watching the elegance and beauty of soccer - and not a bunch of padded up meatheads barging each other around - so it looked like a fight rather than a 'strategic move'.

Actually, there was.

http://www.cbc.ca/sports/story/2006/10/ ... worth.html

Now THAT is funny...

Talk me through those moves again Dave....

I had forgotten about that guy. Regardless, that pic still does not show a fight. There may have been one that ensued from that picture, though, I'll give you that.

[NealIsGod]

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

I stand corrected. Please remember Dave that I am used to watching the elegance and beauty of soccer - and not a bunch of padded up meatheads barging each other around - so it looked like a fight rather than a 'strategic move'.

Actually, there was.

http://www.cbc.ca/sports/story/2006/10/ ... worth.html

Now THAT is funny...

Talk me through those moves again Dave....

I had forgotten about that guy. Regardless, that pic still does not show a fight. There may have been one that ensued from that picture, though, I'll give you that.

That pic shows Haynesworth stepping on the Cowboy's head. It was all over the news when it first happened.

[Matthew]

Elegance and beauty? Like this...

Boy, he elegantly laid one upside that guys beautiful head, huh?

No...like this....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukHgFNGL_Bw

[conversationpc]

There is no kicking or hitting going on in that picture. Looks like Julius Jones may have just scored a touchdown and the other guys are simply getting up from the aftermath of a tackle. Case closed.

I stand corrected. Please remember Dave that I am used to watching the elegance and beauty of soccer - and not a bunch of padded up meatheads barging each other around - so it looked like a fight rather than a 'strategic move'.

Actually, there was.

http://www.cbc.ca/sports/story/2006/10/ ... worth.html

Now THAT is funny...

Talk me through those moves again Dave....

I had forgotten about that guy. Regardless, that pic still does not show a fight. There may have been one that ensued from that picture, though, I'll give you that.

That pic shows Haynesworth stepping on the Cowboy's head. It was all over the news when it first happened.

Yeah, I know...Just giving Matthew as much grief as possible.

[Matthew]

Or this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHMSqea3OX8

[NealIsGod]

Who watches football or soccer for elegance and beauty? If you want that, watch figure skating.

[conversationpc]

Who watches football or soccer for elegance and beauty? If you want that, watch figure skating.

Good point.

[Matthew]

Who watches football or soccer for elegance and beauty? If you want that, watch figure skating.

Good point.

Barbarians....

It's not JUST about elegance...it's about passion, teamwork, hard tackles.....same stuff you love sport for...

And..now and again...it's about players delivering kung fu kicks into the crowd....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH8TbX8z ... ed&search=

[chf34jmac]

They could spice up figure skating if they gave extra points for tossing your pairs partner into the boards once and a while. Not checking them, actually throwing them.

[AR]

I can't claim credit for this, but this person sums it all up:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Americans, you are not alone. I, too, do not understand the underlying excitement that has the world captivated about positional play, trench-like defence and suffocating midfield passing. Don't get me wrong. I love good, solid defense as much as the next guy, but there's something inherently wrong with a game that makes it so easy to defend. I watched a team on Saturday set up their offence delicately and constructively, like chess pieces, for 25 minutes, moving the ball gradually upfield, positioning every man just perfectly, drawing the defence into the formation they wanted, and then when the time came to strike!!!....the ball was deftly booted out of bounds and they had to reset their pieces and start all over again. A 25-minute attack strategy, a stupid, meandering, egregious waste of copious amounts of time plotting to get conditions just right, destroyed in two seconds. Nothing gained from it. Nothing to show for it. It's like one of those excruciatingly long and turgid single-shot scenes in a Stanley Kubrick movie that does nothing and goes nowhere but lures the audience into a false sense of security. But even Kubrick gave you a rewarding payoff every now and then. What's soccer's excuse?

Here, then, are my super awesome suggestions to make soccer the exciting game it's supposed to be:

Put up a damn timeclock already! For God's sakes, it's the 21st century and you scoreboard-deficient Euro weenies can't afford a couple jumbotrons? The best sports have their most gripping moments in the second to last second, where things get tight and urgent. Football, hockey and basketball have timeouts to help prolong the suspense, to maximize those last second heroics. But soccer? Not knowing precisely when the game ends is too anti-climactic. Why does the ref hide this shit on us? It's like he doesn't want the game to be too exciting. And don't even get me started on injury/stop time. Yeah, let's add another minute on just for the hell of it.

Get rid of offsides. I know you think this will result in legions of goal-sucking cherry pickers and not much else, but in reality no sport is really conducive to that kind of blind, offensive thinking. It doesn't happen in basketball or lacrosse, and in soccer the field is too big for it to be an effective tactic anyway, which is pretty ironic considering the only thing the offside rule does is keep everyone together. And prevent scoring. Because scoring is bad. Nobody likes scoring. It interrupts the sophisticated cheers prepared carefully by the diehard faithful. Maybe if the game wasn't so godawfully boring the people wouldn't have to find alternative ways to collectively entertain themselves.

Free kicks are not really all that helpful. I suggest a new idea for penalties: Remove the man from play for 10 minutes. And we can call the plays that take advantage of being short-manned something powerful. Like....power plays!

Allow body contact. It isn't a real sport unless there is some element of physical domination and subjugation involved, so it can feel more like the war metaphor it's supposed to be. But here's the clincher: you can't use your feet.

Every so often, the ball explodes for no particular reason.

One word: Steroids.

To increase scoring, make the goals 50 feet high. Goalies are allowed to wear jetpacks.

For now on, all soccer players must look like this:




Eliminate boring midfield play! Make the goals 40 yards from each other. And build a wall around the field so the ball remains live and in play at all times.

Statistics! Lots of them. If there's one thing that will get the Fantasy League Owners pumped, it's tons and tons of meaningless statistics. The only statistics I've seen are goals, yellow cards, shots and possession. That sucks. There should be stats like "shooting percentage when kicked with left foot against right handed goalies in grass fields played in Europe" and "Average angle of cross corner kick when headed by the striker into the penalty area for a goal" and also "Average length of time spent rolling on grass acting like they've been shot faking a broken leg injury". Never underestimate the power of the ALTSRGASFBLI stat.

No more injury timeouts. If a player goes down, let him roll and writhe on the grass while play continues. If he's still at it after five minutes, the opposing team is allowed to kick him off the field.

No more shoot outs for knockout games. That's a silly and arbitrary way to settle something that prides itself on its passing, defence, running, headers, teamwork and positional play.....by removing all of these elements from the final outcome. It's like going to a slam dunk contest for tie basketball games. You might as well just flip a coin to decide who wins. I propose instead keeping the panty-waist felchers out on the field until there's a goal. No breaks, no stoppages, no overtime halves--they stay out as long as it fucking takes until someone scores. If the game goes for hours with no end in sight and they both sit back and play 0-0-10 defences, then so be it: Let them starve to death. But by no mens are they allowed to stop playing so long as the score is tied. You fuckers are going to learn how to score a bloody goal and settle the game like real men, or die of dehydration trying.