OT: This happened to me yesterday

[KenTheDude]

Before I get into the story, I need to say something that relates to this story so it makes more sense. I used to be real intimidated by beautiful women. Whenever I came across someone that I thought was beautiful, I used to freeze up like an Eskimo's refrigerator. One day I got pissed off about it and I just forced myself to stop. It was real difficult. Think of a real bad fear that you have and think of confronting that fear head-on. That's what it was like. I got to thinking "These beautiful women are no better than me. They might even be just as nervous as me." So now it rarely happens anymore. It's more common than you would guess. I'm just glad I'm over it. Once in a blue moon if I come across someone that is stunningly beautiful, I mean a 9 or a 10 (which is rare) I might initially get a little nervous still.

So on to the story. I was talking to my neighbor across the street. She just happens to be one of those women that I kind of get nervous around because she is a total fox. (no I'm not going to post pictures ) I'm talking to her and she stops me in mid-sentence. She says: "What a minute. Turn around, what was that?" So I turn around and there is this brown spot on the back of my pants in a spot that looks like I crapped my pants. Are you kidding me?? I'm already kind of intimidated by this woman and now she thinks I crapped my pants??? I turned 8 shades of red to say the least. I didn't know what the heck it was. Well what else could I do? I made jokes about it and we continue talking for a few more minutes. When I got home I changed my pants. Later on in the day I'm taking down the mirror in my bathroom because I'm going to install ones I made that look like portholes from a ship. As I'm taking down the mirror, I see in the mirror the back of my pants and THERE IS A BROWN SPOT AGAIN!!!! On the pants that I changed into!!! What the heck is going on here!!!! So I decided to solve the mystery of the crapped pants once and for all. I start walking around my house looking for "crap". After looking for about half an hour in my house, my garage, my workshop, I found it. It was on my recliner in my living room. I was eating some of this trail mix-type stuff called "Indulgence". It has in it some cinnamon flavored walnuts, yogurt covered raisins, and some chocolate raspberry chips. They look like chocolate chips but are chocolate & raspberry flavored. Ah ha! The culprit has been found. Apparently a few had fallen down in the chair and I ended up squashing them with my pants. A few minutes later I noticed my hot neighbor outside again in her yard. I grabbed my "crapped" pants and went across the street. I said "Hey smell my pants!". She got this scared look on her face and said "I am NOT smelling those pants!" I said "Trust me, really, smell my pants." So she slowly puts the pants up to her nose and said "Strawberries??" I said "No, raspberries, pretty cool huh?" The last thing she said to me was sheer classic brilliance. She said "So your shit really doesn't stink afterall". LMAO!!!!

[bluejeangirl76]

The last thing she said to me was sheer classic brilliance. She said "So your shit really doesn't stink afterall". LMAO!!!!

Marry this woman.

[Moon Beam]

Cute funny like story, thanks for sharing it with us Ken.

[larryfromnextdoor]

I was eating some of this trail mix-type stuff called "Indulgence".

,, great story man.....

... unrelated story kinda... i didnt have time for dinner a few weeks ago... BUT i had some brand new Sour Icebreaker mints... they are fantastic!! .. had one , and read the label ... no sugar and 0 calaries... SO i ate the entire package for a dinner thinking it was good for me... dont ever do that .. REPEAT , never...

[tammy]

Too funny, Ken.

[Moon Beam]

... unrelated story kinda... i didnt have time for dinner a few weeks ago... BUT i had some brand new Sour Icebreaker mints... they are fantastic!! .. had one , and read the label ... no sugar and 0 calaries... SO i ate the entire package for a dinner thinking it was good for me... dont ever do that .. REPEAT , never...

Don't leave us hangin Lar, what happened?
I love them icebreaker thing-a-ma-bobs.

[NealIsGod]

You should have told her to lick your pants.

[Moon Beam]

You should have told her to lick your pants.

Always thinking eh Nig.

[NealIsGod]

You should have told her to lick your pants.

Always thinking eh Nig.

Knowledge is power, Moonie.

[Rip Rokken]

A few minutes later I noticed my hot neighbor outside again in her yard. I grabbed my "crapped" pants and went across the street. I said "Hey smell my pants!"

LOL! I wonder what Mystery would say about this very original pick-up technique?

[mistiejourney]

The last thing she said to me was sheer classic brilliance. She said "So your shit really doesn't stink afterall". LMAO!!!!

Marry this woman.

Immediately!

[Perry86fan]

[Greg]

I tried the "smell my pants" thing before except I was still wearing them at the time.

[Rip Rokken]

It reminds me of an old joke about a guy who asks his friend for advice on how to impress and pick up chicks. The friend tells him to stuff a potato in his pants to make him look massive down there. So a few days later, the guy comes back to his friend and tells him he tried it, but that women avoid him more than ever now -- they practically run from him. His friend tells him, "You're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT, you idiot!"

[NealIsGod]

It reminds me of an old joke about a guy who asks his friend for advice on how to impress and pick up chicks. The friend tells him to stuff a potato in his pants to make him look massive down there. So a few days later, the guy comes back to his friend and tells him he tried it, but that women avoid him more than ever now -- they practically run from him. His friend tells him, "You're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT, you idiot!"

Good one.

[Little Lenny]

[stevew2]

[quote="Little Lenny"]:lol: :lol: :lol:[/quote you You cutie

[stevew2]

you are a cutie

[Voyager]

Before I get into the story, I need to say something that relates to this story so it makes more sense. I used to be real intimidated by beautiful women. Whenever I came across someone that I thought was beautiful, I used to freeze up like an Eskimo's refrigerator. One day I got pissed off about it and I just forced myself to stop. It was real difficult. Think of a real bad fear that you have and think of confronting that fear head-on. That's what it was like. I got to thinking "These beautiful women are no better than me. They might even be just as nervous as me." So now it rarely happens anymore. It's more common than you would guess. I'm just glad I'm over it. Once in a blue moon if I come across someone that is stunningly beautiful, I mean a 9 or a 10 (which is rare) I might initially get a little nervous still.

So on to the story. I was talking to my neighbor across the street. She just happens to be one of those women that I kind of get nervous around because she is a total fox. (no I'm not going to post pictures ) I'm talking to her and she stops me in mid-sentence. She says: "What a minute. Turn around, what was that?" So I turn around and there is this brown spot on the back of my pants in a spot that looks like I crapped my pants. Are you kidding me?? I'm already kind of intimidated by this woman and now she thinks I crapped my pants??? I turned 8 shades of red to say the least. I didn't know what the heck it was. Well what else could I do? I made jokes about it and we continue talking for a few more minutes. When I got home I changed my pants. Later on in the day I'm taking down the mirror in my bathroom because I'm going to install ones I made that look like portholes from a ship. As I'm taking down the mirror, I see in the mirror the back of my pants and THERE IS A BROWN SPOT AGAIN!!!! On the pants that I changed into!!! What the heck is going on here!!!! So I decided to solve the mystery of the crapped pants once and for all. I start walking around my house looking for "crap". After looking for about half an hour in my house, my garage, my workshop, I found it. It was on my recliner in my living room. I was eating some of this trail mix-type stuff called "Indulgence". It has in it some cinnamon flavored walnuts, yogurt covered raisins, and some chocolate raspberry chips. They look like chocolate chips but are chocolate & raspberry flavored. Ah ha! The culprit has been found. Apparently a few had fallen down in the chair and I ended up squashing them with my pants. A few minutes later I noticed my hot neighbor outside again in her yard. I grabbed my "crapped" pants and went across the street. I said "Hey smell my pants!". She got this scared look on her face and said "I am NOT smelling those pants!" I said "Trust me, really, smell my pants." So she slowly puts the pants up to her nose and said "Strawberries??" I said "No, raspberries, pretty cool huh?" The last thing she said to me was sheer classic brilliance. She said "So your shit really doesn't stink afterall". LMAO!!!!

You know you're bored as fuck when you read something like this all the way through.

I made it about half way.

[Liam]

Holy shit (and I DO mean that literally) how can you tell a hot chick to smell the ass of your pants??????? Like someone said before... "MARRY HER".

BTW...funny story.

[Little Lenny]

If I had posted this on Sunday then it would have happened yesterday, but I'm posing it today...
I was getting ready to take Catherine to visit her dad and his fiance on Saturday night I tripped over a ledge, I thought i'd steadied myself, only to stumble into a pothole.
I fell, Hit my head on the neighbours metal garage door, jarred both of my knee caps and my neck, bruised both of my arms, wounded the outer side of my left hand, and have sustained tendon damage to my hand...oh yeah not to mention, my walking stick stuck in my chest, and pulled the muscles!! ...
SO i spent all Sunday in Accident and Emergency...I look like a purple grape at the moment in patches! and my lft arm is bandaged and my fingers are in splints...
I only went out of the back garden!!:shock: ...I don't think I would have made a good stunt woman you know, I'm just too clumsy!!! ...or maybe I would!!

Anyway, I've been truly pampered this week by 'him indoors' ....