Melodicrock Political Super Bowl

[Rockindeano]

This game has been an explosive contest as we head into the 4th quarter tied at 24-24.

With 5 minutes left, the Grand Old Party Neocons have the ball but it's 4th down and they are going to kick it away. Red Wing Fan is doing the punting today and frankly, he has been complete shit. His average is 18.7 which if you remove the decimal point, that is how many House seats his party will have come next January. He gets into it, driving Blue Jean Girl back to her 10, and she takes the ball up the LEFT sideline for 23 yds where Scarygirl unleashes a wicked evil clothesline on her and drops her like a bad smear political commercial. Scary stands up and kicks BJG in the dome for good measure.

The Crats walk up to the line of scrimmage and Deano will take the snap. He rolls right, yes I said right, and fires a fastball through Lie Finder's outstretched sticks and the ball finds Oh Sherrie with a large state caucus like reception. Sherrie is pissed and is having none of conversationpc's attempted tackle, and just as OS is going down, out of nowhere come 7 Wishes with a giant crackback block that would would make Fred Thompson proud. OS finally expires and is down in the RED zone.

The Crats are inside the 20 and head coach Bill Clinton is nowhere to be seen. Wait a minute, here he comes from behind the bleachers, adjusting his belt! The Crats fans are giving Slick Willy a standing Ovation, while Dr James Dobson is pleading with the Lord to have BC stoned by beer bottles. Meanwhile, John McCain is trying read the playbook but is having a hard time. He doesn't understand numbers all that well. There seems to be a skirmish to our right. Sean Hannity and Keith Olberman are throwing down and here comes Bill-O to join in! If this were the NHL, Bill-o would be ejected for "third man in." However, Keith is handling his own nicely. Chris Matthews can be heard all the way up here screaming loudly! Bill-O starts yelling wildly about someone doing a spin zone dance, and he is not happy. Meanwhile on the field, Deano knows his team is the favourite but needs to score to put the clamp down on the Cons. He looks out out at the defense and sees a pissed off Lie Finder and an equally perturbed Wally Hatchet. He calls out the play, "1600, 1600, Pennsylvania Ave, hut hut" and he pitches it back to Cat eyes, and an enraged Barb comes flying to the ball, and Cat pitches it back to Deano, who has a wide open 7 Wishes completely decked out in tribal makeup and feathers. Touchdown Crats and The Cons are not at all pleased. Up in the Press Box, a rather stout Rush Limbaugh is calling for the head of Con QB G.I. Jim. There seems to be complete disarray amongst the Cons. Newly acquired kicker Andrew McNeice will come on and he boots through the extra point and we have a 7 point Crat's lead. We'll be right back, after these commercial messages....

"I don't know much about the economy, but I do know I have the experience to lead this great country into battle against Iraq. I have a plan where we can achieve our goal of getting that oil before it goes bad."

"I'm John McCain and I approved this message"

31-24, the Crat's lead it and Mcneice will kick it off to the Cons. Back to receive is Skylorde. He hasn't much action since melting down with his old board. The final conclusion was that a bunch of Loons overran it and some wack jobs continued rampaging it until it became useless. The Aussies gets his foot into it and sends a high end over end kick back to the Cons endzone...Skylorde fields it and starts up the right sideline where he is met by a staunch group of Crat's but somehow someway laterals it to Rip Rokken who is wearing a Dokken jersey. Rokken scurries back and left and sees daylight until a roid enraged Oh Sherrie delivers the goods and Rip is down. Oh my fucking God, Rip's left leg is snapped in half! Rudolph Guilini is going ape shit. He is claiming that another 9/11 caused this injury and he is best to fight it out with the terrorists! Meanwhile, back in sane land, Rip is agony. "How the fuck are we gonna fix this!" Rokken can be heard screaming. RWF casually walks up and says, "Let's take em to the hospital." Rip yells back, "I don't have any fucking health insurance. Uh oh! Now what. St John appears out of nowhere, and immediately starts to berate Rokken for not having adequate health coverage, calling him incapable and irresponsible. This is getting ugly. Hillary Clinton climbs down from the stands and says to Rokken, "Rip, go get fixed up, I will take care of this for ya!" Rip is smiling, because he knows he is about to get some Vicodin and Morphine, lucky bastard.

The Cons have the ball on the 50 yd line but time is against them now. Only 1:34 remain and GI Jim is under center. He drops back, and is immediately engulfed by recently picked up free agent Strangegrey. SG does a rainbow dance after the sack, out of respect for the American Indian. SG has found new compassion within the Democratic Party, and it is paying off. Meanwhile St John is going beserk. He wants a piece of someone, maybe it's SG for gloating or Deano for giving the bird to St Juan.

The clock is down to 45 seconds and Rip Rokken has left the Stadium. The many Dokken posters are now being littered onto the playing surface. Arkansas is livid because he wants in to replace Rokken, but Con Head Coach St John wants Scarygrl at halfback. Now SG has been a ferocious competitor today and she looks pissed. Screaming down the Crats defense for having children when they aren't rich. She is flat out pissed. GI Jim drops back and floats a screen pass to Scary who has room to run. Here comes Karl Rove out of nowhere and he collides with Scary, knocking her down at the Crat 1 with 3 seconds left, and the Cons down by 7. When asked, Rove said, I thought that was Ms Plame. Oops. The game has come down to one play. In the Con huddle, Barb, Scary, GI, Lie Finder, Arkansas, and Wally Hatchet deliberate. Meanwhile on the Crat D line, OS, BJG, 7 Wishes, still in HeadGear Dance outfit, and Deano stand ready.


So we have one play remaining.

What's gonna happen?

[nikki]

You forgot to put in 'all of the above' !

[RedWingFan]

Classic!!!
18.7 yards per punt???? Do I have to remind you that I grew up watching Ray Guy?

[lights1961]

mccain who has been asleep at the switch for 59:55 seconds wakes up and does a QB if the ball is on the one and goes over fuzzy thurston and jerry kramer for the winning score... thus the
trophy will be forever named the John McCain i was a war hero vietnam president of the usa. bring on 2009!!


Rick

[scarygirl]

You've really put a lot of thought into this.

[Granny]

I don't know much about football, but I picked #1..
BTW Deano, you need to write a book of jokes....it would be a best seller.....

Love the way you describe things...

[scarygirl]

I voted Rip Rokken gets high at the hospital.

[RedWingFan]

Easy #1, touchdown scarygirl...then Fact Finder rams it in for a 2 point conversion and the Cons win by 1!

Yeah, then the crats file a lawsuit with a liberal state supreme court, stating that the 2 pt. conversion shouldn't have been run from the 2 1/2 yd line like the rules state. But that it should have actually started from the 5, thus the game was stolen from them.

[STORY_TELLER]

My GOD Deano has a lot of free time on his hands...!

[Rockindeano]

My GOD Deano has a lot of free time on his hands...!

Work Nights dude. need to stay awake somehow.

[ohsherrie]

You've proved yet again that you're certifiable Dean, but you know I'm damned sure not going to let Barb get by me.

(Nothing personal Barb, just politics.)

[bluejeangirl76]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

But I'm voting for roid filled sherrie cuz that's just funny.

[Rockindeano]

You've proved yet again that you're certifiable Dean, but you know I'm damned sure not going to let Barb get by me.

(Nothing personal Barb, just politics.)

Glad you said that. Barb is a good person.

[bluejeangirl76]

As ususal, I vote, post, THEN go read the original post. I'm dying laughing. Well done.
I've just been flattened but it was a total blur... all I saw were the letters "okke". Help me up, damn it.

[ohsherrie]

You've proved yet again that you're certifiable Dean, but you know I'm damned sure not going to let Barb get by me.

(Nothing personal Barb, just politics.)

Glad you said that. Barb is a good person.

I know. So are most of the reps/cons we battle with on here.

[Barb]

You've proved yet again that you're certifiable Dean, but you know I'm damned sure not going to let Barb get by me.

(Nothing personal Barb, just politics.)

Nothing personal on my end either, Sherrie. I actually don't even care anymore - can you tell?

[Barb]

You've proved yet again that you're certifiable Dean, but you know I'm damned sure not going to let Barb get by me.

(Nothing personal Barb, just politics.)

Glad you said that. Barb is a good person.

You are in a great mood today aren't you? Thanks. The only thing interesting to me about this election is Barack Obama. I will never make a left turn, but I will sit this game out until there are some better playas.

[CatEyes]

You've proved yet again that you're certifiable Dean, but you know I'm damned sure not going to let Barb get by me.

(Nothing personal Barb, just politics.)

i know where my money is

-in best cheerleader mode-

gosherrie - gosherrie - gosherrie



cat

[Rhiannon]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

"What's up, bitches? I got your exit poll, right here!" -- T. Ruxpin

[Ms_M]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

"What's up, bitches? I got your exit poll, right here!" -- T. Ruxpin

Another celeb on his way to rehab, huh?

[scarygirl]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

"What's up, bitches? I got your exit poll, right here!" -- T. Ruxpin

Another celeb on his way to rehab, huh?

Teddy doesn't want to go to rehab, he said NO, NO, NO.

[Rhiannon]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

"What's up, bitches? I got your exit poll, right here!" -- T. Ruxpin

Another celeb on his way to rehab, huh?

It's happened to so many child stars of the 80s. We tried to save him, BJG and I. But Perry got to him using him as a cocaine mule. I don't want to talk about it, for me the pain is still to near.

[Rhiannon]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

"What's up, bitches? I got your exit poll, right here!" -- T. Ruxpin

Another celeb on his way to rehab, huh?

Teddy doesn't want to go to rehab, he said NO, NO, NO.

Yeah, he won't GO, GO, GO.

[Rockindeano]

They'll be None of that Coors Light shit in Vegas. That's pussy beer shit, light beer is for pussies.

[ohsherrie]

You've proved yet again that you're certifiable Dean, but you know I'm damned sure not going to let Barb get by me.

(Nothing personal Barb, just politics.)

i know where my money is

-in best cheerleader mode-

gosherrie - gosherrie - gosherrie



cat

OK, I'm pumped now. Bring it on Barb. I'll kick your football, (Or is it hockey we're playing?).

[Rhiannon]

They'll be None of that Coors Light shit in Vegas.

22 days!!!

[RedWingFan]

They'll be None of that Coors Light shit in Vegas. That's Annex shit, light beer is for pussies.

Aw hell, now you went and did it!

[ohsherrie]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

"What's up, bitches? I got your exit poll, right here!" -- T. Ruxpin

Another celeb on his way to rehab, huh?

Teddy doesn't want to go to rehab, he said NO, NO, NO.

OK, you actually made me laugh Scary. That's really scary.

[7 Wishes]

OK, so Rick's post was the most emotive one I have ever read. This is the funniest.

I say the game goes to overtime. The Cons pull the Statue of Liberty play and sneak into the end zone, even though they had 12 men on the field (Referee Harris ruled the replay was inconclusive).

In OT, the Dems throw a TD bomb, with 7 Wishes catching a ball that lodges into his face mask despite interference and a late hit by Arkansas. However, the play is called back against the 'Crats because of an Illegal eMotion penalty.

Coach Clinton uses a never-before-seen two quarterback formation on the next play. Center Rick snaps the ball between the two QB's since no-one can decide who is going to take the snap. A certain fatass from a different message board falls on the ball but it becomes wedged between his ass cheeks. The whistle blows and the Republicans claim the ass-cheek ball grab is against the law in Georgia and demand a penalty with loss of down.

No-one can amount anything resembling a drive for the remainder of overtime. Like a brilliant World Cup match, most of the game is played between the 35-yard-lines. Time runs out before McNiece can kick a game-winning 50 yard field goal because 7 Wishes is too busy arguing with the line judge.

[bluejeangirl76]

You forgot "Rhiannon and BJG will inevitably hijack the topic, I mean game, with something stupid and everyone will forget what team they were on."

"What's up, bitches? I got your exit poll, right here!" -- T. Ruxpin

Another celeb on his way to rehab, huh?

It's happened to so many child stars of the 80s. We tried to save him, BJG and I. But Perry got to him using him as a cocaine mule. I don't want to talk about it, for me the pain is still to near.

By the time we got to Teddy... it was... just... too late.

But that wasn't all. Teddy had it bad. Perry had him doing all his bidding. He was a monster!
He made Teddy snuff Smith and Valory out of the band. This pic was take just after...





Lookit that smug Perry bastard, clutching his little slave! And the angst on poor Teddy's little fuzzy face!