OT: Funny

[tj]

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few minutes passed.
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" The startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied

[Since 78]

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few minutes passed.
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" The startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied

[Rick]

Outside of the gradeschool, a boy is sitting, eating one candy bar after another.

An elderly gentleman, waiting on his granddaughter to exit the school notices the display.

Unable to curb his thoughts on the matter the elderly gentleman says to the boy.. "Young man, I've sat here and watched you eat one candy bar after another. Do you not realize how unhealthy that is for you? Do you not realize that it can lead to many health problems, including obesity, acne, diabetes and so on?"

The young boy said "My grandfather lived to be 98 years old.

The old man asked "Did he eat candy like that?"

The young boy replied "No, he minded his own fucking business!"

[Maui Tom]

Outside of the gradeschool, a boy is sitting, eating one candy bar after another.

An elderly gentleman, waiting on his granddaughter to exit the school notices the display.

Unable to curb his thoughts on the matter the elderly gentleman says to the boy.. "Young man, I've sat here and watched you eat one candy bar after another. Do you not realize how unhealthy that is for you? Do you not realize that it can lead to many health problems, including obesity, acne, diabetes and so on?"

The young boy said "My grandfather lived to be 98 years old.

The old man asked "Did he eat candy like that?"

The young boy replied "No, he minded his own fucking business!"

<snickers>

[Since 78]

Outside of the gradeschool, a boy is sitting, eating one candy bar after another.

An elderly gentleman, waiting on his granddaughter to exit the school notices the display.

Unable to curb his thoughts on the matter the elderly gentleman says to the boy.. "Young man, I've sat here and watched you eat one candy bar after another. Do you not realize how unhealthy that is for you? Do you not realize that it can lead to many health problems, including obesity, acne, diabetes and so on?"

The young boy said "My grandfather lived to be 98 years old.

The old man asked "Did he eat candy like that?"

The young boy replied "No, he minded his own fucking business!"

<snickers>

Great one!!

[7 Wishes]

A guy walks into a sleazy bar one night, sits down, and orders a beer.

After a while, he decides to start up a conversation with the guy sitting next to him. Pretty soon, the guy is pretty wasted. He turns to the other guy and says, "You want to hear a great Polish joke?"

Whereupon the other guy glares at him, and retorts, "You wanna reconsider that? My name is Wojkowski, and I'm Polish. The guy next to me is Stankowicz, and he's Polish, and 6'4". And the guy next to him is Padowski, and he'sPolish and 6'6". And he promptly rolls up his sleeves to reveal his bulging biceps.

So the first guy looks at the three Polish guys, thinks for a minute, and replies, "Nah. You're right. I wouldn't want to have to explain the joke three times."

[Since 78]

A guy walks into a sleazy bar one night, sits down, and orders a beer.

After a while, he decides to start up a conversation with the guy sitting next to him. Pretty soon, the guy is pretty wasted. He turns to the other guy and says, "You want to hear a great Polish joke?"

Whereupon the other guy glares at him, and retorts, "You wanna reconsider that? My name is Wojkowski, and I'm Polish. The guy next to me is Stankowicz, and he's Polish, and 6'4". And the guy next to him is Padowski, and he'sPolish and 6'6". And he promptly rolls up his sleeves to reveal his bulging biceps.

So the first guy looks at the three Polish guys, thinks for a minute, and replies, "Nah. You're right. I wouldn't want to have to explain the joke three times."

[geminix]

http://www.fatalfarm.com/tvthemes/FFCheers.mov

[Rick]

A guy walks into a bar after work and slams down a few hard ones. Immediately his stomach turns on him and before he knows it, he's vomited all over his shirt.

The bartender asks if he's ok and he responds "Yeah, but my wife is gonna kill me if she knows I've been here drinking.

The bartender with a reassuring voice says "Relax man, when you get home, have a twenty dollar bill in your hand. The first thing your wife is gonna do is ask where the twenty dollar bill came from. Tell her you stopped by the bar to talk to a business associate about work and then a drunk threw up all over your shirt and he gave you the twenty to have your shirt cleaned. Works every time."

The man thinks and replies, "You know what, you're right. Server me up again!"

Later on the man arrives at home. He opens the door only to find his wife standing there glaring at him.

He's standing there with a twenty dollar bill in each hand and says "Honey, don't be mad. I sshotpped by the bar to talk to a bushness asshoshiate and a drunk threw up all over my shirt. He gave me this twenty dollar bill to have it cleaned. The wife asks "What's the other twenty for?" The man said "I think he shit my pants too!"

[Since 78]

A guy walks into a bar after work and slams down a few hard ones. Immediately his stomach turns on him and before he knows it, he's vomited all over his shirt.

The bartender asks if he's ok and he responds "Yeah, but my wife is gonna kill me if she knows I've been here drinking.

The bartender with a reassuring voice says "Relax man, when you get home, have a twenty dollar bill in your hand. The first thing your wife is gonna do is ask where the twenty dollar bill came from. Tell her you stopped by the bar to talk to a business associate about work and then a drunk threw up all over your shirt and he gave you the twenty to have your shirt cleaned. Works every time."

The man thinks and replies, "You know what, you're right. Server me up again!"

Later on the man arrives at home. He opens the door only to find his wife standing there glaring at him.

He's standing there with a twenty dollar bill in each hand and says "Honey, don't be mad. I sshotpped by the bar to talk to a bushness asshoshiate and a drunk threw up all over my shirt. He gave me this twenty dollar bill to have it cleaned. The wife asks "What's the other twenty for?" The man said "I think he shit my pants too!"

[Don]

A guy walks into a bar after work and slams down a few hard ones. Immediately his stomach turns on him and before he knows it, he's vomited all over his shirt.

The bartender asks if he's ok and he responds "Yeah, but my wife is gonna kill me if she knows I've been here drinking.

The bartender with a reassuring voice says "Relax man, when you get home, have a twenty dollar bill in your hand. The first thing your wife is gonna do is ask where the twenty dollar bill came from. Tell her you stopped by the bar to talk to a business associate about work and then a drunk threw up all over your shirt and he gave you the twenty to have your shirt cleaned. Works every time."

The man thinks and replies, "You know what, you're right. Server me up again!"

Later on the man arrives at home. He opens the door only to find his wife standing there glaring at him.

He's standing there with a twenty dollar bill in each hand and says "Honey, don't be mad. I sshotpped by the bar to talk to a bushness asshoshiate and a drunk threw up all over my shirt. He gave me this twenty dollar bill to have it cleaned. The wife asks "What's the other twenty for?" The man said "I think he shit my pants too!"

For a moment I thought SW2 was telling that joke.

[Rick]

A guy walks into a bar after work and slams down a few hard ones. Immediately his stomach turns on him and before he knows it, he's vomited all over his shirt.

The bartender asks if he's ok and he responds "Yeah, but my wife is gonna kill me if she knows I've been here drinking.

The bartender with a reassuring voice says "Relax man, when you get home, have a twenty dollar bill in your hand. The first thing your wife is gonna do is ask where the twenty dollar bill came from. Tell her you stopped by the bar to talk to a business associate about work and then a drunk threw up all over your shirt and he gave you the twenty to have your shirt cleaned. Works every time."

The man thinks and replies, "You know what, you're right. Server me up again!"

Later on the man arrives at home. He opens the door only to find his wife standing there glaring at him.

He's standing there with a twenty dollar bill in each hand and says "Honey, don't be mad. I sshotpped by the bar to talk to a bushness asshoshiate and a drunk threw up all over my shirt. He gave me this twenty dollar bill to have it cleaned. The wife asks "What's the other twenty for?" The man said "I think he shit my pants too!"

For a moment I thought SW2 was telling that joke.

Just as bad. I'm an okie. You can dress them up......

[Don]

You know what I found out isn't funny? Singing the “Okie from Muscogee” song when you're actually in Muscogee. Some Okies have no f'kn humor.

[JH'sTXfan]

You know what I found out isn't funny? Singing the “Okie from Muscogee” song when you're actually in Muscogee. Some Okies have no f'kn humor.

That's funny, and I was born in Muskogee.

[Rick]

You know what I found out isn't funny? Singing the “Okie from Muscogee” song when you're actually in Muscogee. Some Okies have no f'kn humor.

That's funny, and I was born in Muskogee.

And me in McAlester. Not too far away.

[Since 78]

You know what I found out isn't funny? Singing the “Okie from Muscogee” song when you're actually in Muscogee. Some Okies have no f'kn humor.

That's funny, and I was born in Muskogee.

My Dad was born in Ludlow, although Ive heard it doesn't exist anymore

[Rick]

You know what I found out isn't funny? Singing the “Okie from Muscogee” song when you're actually in Muscogee. Some Okies have no f'kn humor.

That's funny, and I was born in Muskogee.

My Dad was born in Ludlow, although Ive heard it doesn't exist anymore

It's still there. It's out by Talihina and Clayton. Never been to Ludlow, but I've seen signs for it, so I guess it's still there.

[Don]

We got there on a Sunday. I should have known the place was fucked up when the gas station attendant tried to sell me a sixpack of Budwieser for 10 bucks behind the icemachine.

[JH'sTXfan]

My Grandpa used to tell us grandkids, "I was born right here, but I wasn't born in the United States." Had us stumped.

It was Indian Territory, and became a state in 1907. Just a little Okie trivia.

[Rick]

My Grandpa used to tell us grandkids, "I was born right here, but I wasn't born in the United States." Had us stumped.

It was Indian Territory, and became a state in 1907. Just a little Okie trivia.

Here's more trivia. McAlester and Wilburton were named as the two towns to receive a college and a prison. McAlester being the bigger of the two was given the choice of either. They chose the prison. True story. It employed more people.

[JH'sTXfan]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

[JH'sTXfan]

My Grandpa used to tell us grandkids, "I was born right here, but I wasn't born in the United States." Had us stumped.

It was Indian Territory, and became a state in 1907. Just a little Okie trivia.

Here's more trivia. McAlester and Wilburton were named as the two towns to receive a college and a prison. McAlester being the bigger of the two was given the choice of either. They chose the prison. True story. It employed more people.

Guaranteed they also got a higher crime rate.

[Rick]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

Had a really good friend from Skiatook. Passed away in '02. Will never forget that guy. One of the best friends I ever had.

[JH'sTXfan]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

Had a really good friend from Skiatook. Passed away in '02. Will never forget that guy. One of the best friends I ever had.

That's too bad Rick.
I've never been to Skiatook, just passed the sign on the way to B'ville. Always remembered that story the grandparents told me.

[Rick]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

Had a really good friend from Skiatook. Passed away in '02. Will never forget that guy. One of the best friends I ever had.

That's too bad Rick.
I've never been to Skiatook, just passed the sign on the way to B'ville. Always remembered that story the grandparents told me.

I could tell you stories that would take days to tell. I actually met him at DFW, he just happened to be from Skiatook, at one time. Acutally from Enterprise, near Eufaula.

[JH'sTXfan]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

Had a really good friend from Skiatook. Passed away in '02. Will never forget that guy. One of the best friends I ever had.

That's too bad Rick.
I've never been to Skiatook, just passed the sign on the way to B'ville. Always remembered that story the grandparents told me.

I could tell you stories that would take days to tell. I actually met him at DFW, he just happened to be from Skiatook, at one time. Acutally from Enterprise, near Eufaula.

Sounds like a good friend you had there. How come you're not partying with the crew tonight?

[Rick]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

Had a really good friend from Skiatook. Passed away in '02. Will never forget that guy. One of the best friends I ever had.

That's too bad Rick.
I've never been to Skiatook, just passed the sign on the way to B'ville. Always remembered that story the grandparents told me.

I could tell you stories that would take days to tell. I actually met him at DFW, he just happened to be from Skiatook, at one time. Acutally from Enterprise, near Eufaula.

Sounds like a good friend you had there. How come you're not partying with the crew tonight?

I had other obligations today. Tomorrow, I'm there. Big party. I'll take pictures.

[JH'sTXfan]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

Had a really good friend from Skiatook. Passed away in '02. Will never forget that guy. One of the best friends I ever had.

That's too bad Rick.
I've never been to Skiatook, just passed the sign on the way to B'ville. Always remembered that story the grandparents told me.

I could tell you stories that would take days to tell. I actually met him at DFW, he just happened to be from Skiatook, at one time. Acutally from Enterprise, near Eufaula.

Sounds like a good friend you had there. How come you're not partying with the crew tonight?

I had other obligations today. Tomorrow, I'm there. Big party. I'll take pictures.

You guys have a great time! The concert will be amazing!

[Rick]

Do you know how Skiatook got it's name?

White settlers were traveling into OK to settle with their relatives, when they got there the area was in ruins from a tornado and the people gone. They asked the local Indians what happened to the town and they replied "Skiatook".

"Nowata" is pretty self explanatory.

Had a really good friend from Skiatook. Passed away in '02. Will never forget that guy. One of the best friends I ever had.

That's too bad Rick.
I've never been to Skiatook, just passed the sign on the way to B'ville. Always remembered that story the grandparents told me.

I could tell you stories that would take days to tell. I actually met him at DFW, he just happened to be from Skiatook, at one time. Acutally from Enterprise, near Eufaula.

Sounds like a good friend you had there. How come you're not partying with the crew tonight?

I had other obligations today. Tomorrow, I'm there. Big party. I'll take pictures.

You guys have a great time! The concert will be amazing!

I hope so. I hate to see Arnel have to do this for a third night in a row. That's a hard catalog for anyone, especially 3 nights in a friggin row.

It's painfully obvious they've learned nothing.

I hope he kills though.

Poor bastard.

[tanga]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZqoh2aUW7g