OT: Anyone else here really hate their job

[Saint John]

[because of CA being THE BEST STATE EVER

I really hope you were being facetious.

If you read the whole paragraph you know that was dripping in sarcasm.

Good point.

[Rhiannon]

Prog...its tough love time!!

It's GOOD that you don't want people to tell you to suck it up, because you shouldn't!! You should get off your ass and move ahead. Like Ross said, you know what's wrong, you know what you don't like, and yes it does seems overwhelming, but believe me, you're not anywhere that half the people on this board haven't been before...or maybe still are. My friend Ray used to say, "Everyone has to start out eating their shit sandwiches". That's what you're doing now.

I've been in radio for 20 years but I STILL have a part time job. Over the years it's gone from an additional full time job to part time, but I've been there for 19 years. Start small. If your debt is overwhelming, get that second job. You mentioned you had too much time on your hands! Start paying down your debt. When you get a little extra, sock it away. Have a goal, and a time table. Maybe say, be able to afford rent in a year from now. Are you renting from your parents? If you are and they need money, tell them you will BORROW it to them! You're all adults now!

If you've ever thought of moving and trying something different, NOW is the time to do it, while you're young! Your debt is going to be with you, no matter where you go, so why not take a chance on a change? Hell, Sioux Falls may be cold, but we have less then 3% unemployment here! There are always recruitment job ads on the radio for over twice what you are making!

Most importantly, even though it is the toughest thing to do, try to keep a positive attitude! If you believe you're at the bottom, there is no place to go but up, right?

Everything Angie said was dead on. She's a smart broad, Proggletits, listen to her!!

I was just where you are now! ...Five years drudged away in a radio job, along with summers working on houses and cars, and spare time in the winter making hillbilly shit, and coupled with my own family/home issues that everybody has, I decided last June enough was enough and set out to get the fuck outta dodge!! Things only got worse from there... ended up moving to Charlotte working weird-ass night shifts changing pricing and running vendor invoices at a grocery store. Lived with a nice but neurotic old lady. Was at a dead low. No friends nearby, no social life, nothing. Lame. Finally some of my previous seeds sewn in blind faith months before paid off, and I got my ass into a different time zone!

I'm homesick as hell, but I appreciate those days and what I went through. Everyone's story is different, just because you're not 'happy' with it, doesn't mean you can't do anything about it. And it also doesn't mean that all your old buddies who are in school or having the lifepath you wanted aren't miserable assholes either. Remember that.

[wednesday's child]

I HATE my job. I get $7.25 an hour to glue together hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of fucking boxes. Every now and then I get to drive a forklift for 30 seconds. Woopity fucking doo. Raises once a year, and they're insignificant. The office guys at the factory only get like $15/hr and struggle too. It SUCKS.

I HATE my life. I'm stuck living at home with a possessive mother and a father who can't manage finances worth shit, and always has to "borrow" money from me... and he makes $50K a year!! I love them both, but it's hard to live with them. Not to mention my little sisters, who get away with everything and intrude on everything in my life. I sleep on a mattress on a floor, have very little to truly call my own, and drive a gay ass purple minivan.

I HATE decisions I've made and where I am now. I had my IQ officially tested three times growing up and every time it charted over a 130. I got amazing grades through elementary and middle school, won many contests and awards, was a three-sport athlete and had a bright future ahead of me. That's when I got arrogant, careless, and complacent. My GPA nosedived from a 4.0 to a 2.9 at the end of my freshman year because I finally stood up to bullies and got my ass suspended, refused to do homework, and cared more about useless crap than school. I managed to get my GPA back up to 3.3 by the time I graduated with a 28 on the ACT.... not great, but respectable, but yet FAR under what I was capable of.

I was obsessed with sports and wanted to prove to everyone that I could play college football.... SO, instead of looking at legitimate colleges for educational purposes, I looked at expensive private schools (which were the only ones that wanted me to play football, due to near-fatal meningitis stunting my growth my 10th grade year and keeping me at a meager, unimpressive 5'10"). My guidance adviser only cared about minorities and the class top 10.... so I got no guidance from her, and then my parents never went to college, so they went into the whole thing blind too.

College went splendidly, I was on the Deans' List, played football, and was getting a great reputation as an amazing journalist, witty video editor, and music expert. It was the best time of my life, and even though I was at a shitty expensive college, things were looking up for me. Due to it being shitty and expensive, though, I fell into debt at the end of the year that I STILL have yet to pay off due to how much of it I have.... and I don't think I'll be getting back to college for at least a couple years. I may have to start all over again, because my dumb ass failed to realize that communications majors only average something like $23,000/yr starting out.

I HATE most of my friends and people I know. I've lost a lot of my closest friends from high school due to the fact that they're living at their respective colleges now, with their own lives and tracks and ambitions and everything completely straightened out, and never come back home, and have no need for those who have been left behind. The friends I do have now, are all uncultured, unsophisticated folk with poor taste in EVERYTHING, and have very little to offer in the way of ANYTHING.. they're no fun and only ever want to play video games and/or sit around and smoke weed... and I'm not into that. My town is filled with uneducated, directionless bumblefucks who do nothing but annoy, soak up government checks, and smell like onion bagels.

I HATE where I live and what happens from day to day. I have little expendable money, too much free time, nothing to do, no way out, no direction or hope.... I'm insecure about everything about myself and need to change ALOT before I can really be happy. This is not the life I saw myself having at 20, and this will probably end up being my life, my whole life, and I can't fucking stand it....

I know someone's going to tell me to suck it up.. someone's going to tell me to think positive, someone's going to go "don't stop believin'," someone's going to call me a name or whatever. BUT.. I don't care, I needed to get all of this shit out to someone, somewhere... it's been bothering me for a LONG TIME and I needed to unload. And this was the perfect thread to do so on.

It just SUCKS, with the economy the way it is, me living where I am, the decisions I've already made, and the way it looks like everything is going.... I'm STUCK.

Prog,

I am/was an architect.
I had to deal with a lot of people, from obscenely-rich Chinese developers to minimum-wage laborers,
I made a lot of money, but I burned out after only a decade of project management, hunting down financing,
arbitrating contract disputes, late bullshit dinners, and dealing with government inspectors... It was a
7-day-a-week, 7am to 12pm shit-storm of everything but what I loved about architecture in the first place: design.
I made enough to retire, but it all ruined my health, and my ability to enjoy fine dining, art and socializing.
Worse, it seems to have ruined my sense of right and wrong.

What I'm trying to say is, the grass always seems greener from the other side.

Those who are doing what they love, in a harmonious environment;
and can make a righteous, healthy living off of it are truly blessed.

The rest of us have got sob stories about work.
Whatever we make will always be less than what others will say we need.
We will always have to deal with inferiors who frustrate us.
We will always know of more successful contemporaries.

You have one undeniable asset: your youth.

You still have a lot of gas in the tank, and you should look at any perceived LACK of opportunity
as a valuable breathing space to plan and prepare for what you're going to do when opportunity arises.
When your US economy inevitably picks up, you need to be ready to move fast and confidently.
Get prepped.

JM2, and Good luck.
-wech

[RedWingFan]

It was a 7-day-a-week, 7am to 12pm shit-storm of everything

Wow, those are some killer hours!

[Saint John]

Prog,

I am/was an architect.
I had to deal with a lot of people, from obscenely-rich Chinese developers to minimum-wage laborers,
I made a lot of money, but I burned out after only a decade of project management, hunting down financing,
arbitrating contract disputes, late bullshit dinners, and dealing with government inspectors... It was a
7-day-a-week, 7am to 12pm shit-storm of everything but what I loved about architecture in the first place: design.
I made enough to retire, but it all ruined my health, and my ability to enjoy fine dining, art and socializing.
Worse, it seems to have ruined my sense of right and wrong.

What I'm trying to say is, the grass always seems greener from the other side.

Those who are doing what they love, in a harmonious environment;
and can make a righteous, healthy living off of it are truly blessed.

The rest of us have got sob stories about work.
Whatever we make will always be less than what others will say we need.
We will always have to deal with inferiors who frustrate us.
We will always know of more successful contemporaries.

You have one undeniable asset: your youth.

You still have a lot of gas in the tank, and you should look at any perceived LACK of opportunity
as a valuable breathing space to plan and prepare for what you're going to do when opportunity arises.
When your US economy inevitably picks up, you need to be ready to move fast and confidently.
Get prepped.

JM2, and Good luck.
-wech

This post gets my vote as most profound and substance-filled ever here on MR. Nicely said, Wech. Hopefully, it's just as profound when I'm sober.

[yulog]

[
Its just the way of the world i guess, the term tech or aide was used to decipher between people who were considered to be professionals and someone who wasn't,Theres always a pecking order, and when i said that the scrubb tech was a low level job in the hospital setting(I didnt mean it was low class but it may of came off that way I apologize to Angie and anyone who took it that way I was trying to just make the point of pay/years of education.

Oh,by the way you can go into medical school with an english degree, most people did to boost there GPA,so i dont know if the med tech really has any pull to get you in...it sure helps to be in the field if you want to be an M.D., but it isn't a necessity.

The other thing to look at is college is a money making business,it's buyer beware...you can be a med tech in less than a year,but college will be more than happy to take your money for 4 years and give you the same certification.......it sucks, but this is very common.

Theres no guarantees anymore, college doesnt get you high paying jobs, unless you specialize, and even then you have to keep up on trends and see what jobs are hot at the time you plan to graduate.

You actually can't be a med tech in a year. You can be a Medical Technician in a year, but not a Technologist. And they get paid TRUE crap. Technologist's have to have a Bachelor's Degree and then 12 months at an accredited School of Medical Technology. This degree process is required nationally. It's kind of the difference between a Pharmacy Tech and a Pharmacist. Technician's can work almost the same jobs we do, but with more stipulations involved. Techologist's have to supervise them. Also depends on where you work. Some rural hospitals may hire a technician, and not care. Some hospitals won't hire them at all. There are certain parts of the lab that they would not be able to work in also. Technologist has degree requirements and then you have to take a national accreditation test and pass it. All hospitals require you to be certified. And some states such as the lovely state of Florida have their own test and certification process on top of that. We have a license we have to keep up that makes the state money basically. That's what's irritating though. They require all of this knowledge and education but then they don't give you the pay. Other health care careers such as Nursing, Pharmacy and Physical Therapy get way better pay with as much or less education in some cases.

And pay varies depending on where you live too. I realize that Florida pays in sunshine If only sunshine paid those bills!!

My bad, i mixed up those 2, my guess is this is a relativly new area..an all encompassing lab specialist? Again you always have to see what your job is offering before you go into it, maybe someday this field will pick up...it should if you need a degree but someone has to push for it to happen and its not as big as some of the other allied health positions so it could easily be thrown under the rug until someone deems it an absolute necessity.

Florida...ugh, right to work state, hard to get anything done in the south,you should be making more than a pharmacy tech,no?

[StevePerryHair]

[
My bad, i mixed up those 2, my guess is this is a relativly new area..an all encompassing lab specialist? Again you always have to see what your job is offering before you go into it, maybe someday this field will pick up...it should if you need a degree but someone has to push for it to happen and its not as big as some of the other allied health positions so it could easily be thrown under the rug until someone deems it an absolute necessity.

Florida...ugh, right to work state, hard to get anything done in the south,you should be making more than a pharmacy tech,no?

Well, I stopped working about 7 years ago when my 3rd child was 2. And by then I was making just over $20 an hour. It took over 10 years to get that pay though. Starting pay here in FL was about $5.50 an hour lower than it would have been in Cleveland if I had stayed there. Sad really. Especially since things are not cheap here as they once were many years ago. The cap I believe for a technologist then was $25 an hour if I'm not mistaken. I'm sure it's higher now. It just takes YEARS to get there though.

I guess it is a relatively newer field as far as education requirements. Years ago anyone could be trained on the job, but since the 70's probably, they changed all that. So that may be part of the problem too. And then like you said, someone has to fight for you, and the Pathologists didn't do a great job with that I don't think. And the field isn't as big as some, but then if you think about how often we all have blood work done. Does anyone think about where all those little vials go and what is done with them? Not usually And I did know it was low paying, but I enjoyed at the time,, so I guess I should stop complaining

[yulog]

Dude, if you hate your life & everything else so much, you might as well enjoy a little weed. Might take the edge off a bit.

...just sayin.

LOL!!!

Thanks.

Prog, i'd like to give some words of wisdom to you but i have always fell ass backward into money and have just done whatever i feel like when it comes to work. I've worked many jobs just to experience something different ,and usually got something cool out of each of them.I believe the key is to be happy with what your doing not necessarily rich,you can make a lot of money and still hate what you do.


You got so much time, enjoy being young,if you dont do it now you will regret it when your older. All that worry some crap your talking about can wait ...you will have plenty of time to deal with that when you hair starts turning grey. (or falls out)

[StevePerryHair]

Dude, if you hate your life & everything else so much, you might as well enjoy a little weed. Might take the edge off a bit.

...just sayin.

LOL!!!

Thanks.

Prog, i'd like to give some words of wisdom to you but i have always fell ass backward into money and have just done whatever i feel like when it comes to work. I've worked many jobs just to experience something different ,and usually got something cool out of each of them.I believe the key is to be happy with what your doing not necessarily rich,you can make a lot of money and still hate what you do.


You got so much time, enjoy being young,if you dont do it now you will regret it when your older. All that worry some crap your talking about can wait ...you will have plenty of time to deal with that when you hair starts turning grey. (or falls out)

That's good advice And you HAVE to love what you do.

[ebake02]

Five years of college, a bachelors degree and $50,000+ in student loans and I'm making $8 an hour in a shitty factory in the middle of nowhere. Embarrassing huh? I swear to god every day I spend there my IQ drops 10 points, half of the people that work there can barely do elementary school math. I guess that's what I get for picking a field that no company is interested in. Had a really bad day at work...can anybody tell.?

I'm curious about your major and why you think no one would be interested in you...

My major is in history and I have no desire to teach. The problem is that the job I find require some level of experience which I, of course, don't have. I always send in my resume I never get past that point. I not the only one having that problem either, I talked to my roommate from my senior year and he has a degree in Management Information Systems or something like that and he is having the same problem. Companies tell him he has an impressive resume but he doesn't have experience so he's stuck stocking shelves at Walmart.

[jrnychick]

I worked in the Chicago Public Schools system for 4 years a s a substitute and I can categorically say that teachers are WAAAAAY overpaid, costantly bitching and under qualified. My one point of sympathy is with the parents. What a bunch of terrible parents society now has. My parents never questioned the teachers. I knew if a call was made home that my ass was grass and I'd be in the house for at least a week. You call parents today and they come to the school for a meeting as if you've sodomized their child with a fucking lightpole. They're angry, confrontational and some are jsut scary. Most believe that there's NO way their child could have done what is being alleged.

That said, I've met some great educators that are trapped with that stupid fucking union wage garbage. Union wages and scales ("tracks" as they're called in Chicago) make it so it's to your advantage to do the least amount of work as possible. You get paid by how many years you have taught rather than by merit. What a bunch of garbage. I've seen teachers with 20 years in that are completely burned out, have become shitty teachers and are still teaching because they are now making 70-80k a year for 8 months of work (9 months of school minus Christmas and Spring break equals 8 months). The teacher's union needs to be destroyed immediately. It has made our teachers lazy and our kids dumb. It's an evil entity.

I taught elementary school in the suburbs for 8 years. 3 years were in North Chicago, which is a low-income community. The other 5 years were in Libertyville, which is a middle-class community. Like with ANY profession, some people are lazy and do the minimum to get by. My first job (in North Chicago) I got $21k the first year. That was NOT a living wage at the time. I could not have afforded an apartment on my own, for example. The district was so poor that I did not have enough basic supplies. I had to buy my own freaking chalk. We had a quota of 30 copies a day on the school copier. We could send copies to the district office as well, but we had to send them a week ahead of time. We also had to send our own paper along with the request. Yes, I had to buy my own copy paper. I spent at least $2k a year on supplies, room decor, etc. Things were much easier when I got to Libertyville, but I still spent about $750 a year out of my own pocket. There were some teachers who would come in at the latest possible moment and leave each day as early as possible, but there were many others who didn't. I busted my ass. I was there EVERY day at 7am and left at 5pm, AND I brought work home EVERY night. I would often go in for a day on the weekends as well. I would go in at the beginning of August to start setting up my classroom every year. There was no way I could have taken on a second job to earn more money. When I ended my teaching career, I had a master's degree. My husband, who had an associate's degree, was making DOUBLE what I made. BTW, Chicago had "tracks," but the suburbs had "steps" and "lanes."

[Lula]

Five years of college, a bachelors degree and $50,000+ in student loans and I'm making $8 an hour in a shitty factory in the middle of nowhere. Embarrassing huh? I swear to god every day I spend there my IQ drops 10 points, half of the people that work there can barely do elementary school math. I guess that's what I get for picking a field that no company is interested in. Had a really bad day at work...can anybody tell.?

I'm curious about your major and why you think no one would be interested in you...

My major is in history and I have no desire to teach. The problem is that the job I find require some level of experience which I, of course, don't have. I always send in my resume I never get past that point. I not the only one having that problem either, I talked to my roommate from my senior year and he has a degree in Management Information Systems or something like that and he is having the same problem. Companies tell him he has an impressive resume but he doesn't have experience so he's stuck stocking shelves at Walmart.

teaching is not for everyone, i do love it though. what type of job are you looking for?

[ebake02]

I would love to go to law school but after I did some research, I realized that law school is something I can't afford right now. Outside of that, I would love to do research work for a museum or something like that.

[Lula]

I would love to go to law school but after I did some research, I realized that law school is something I can't afford right now. Outside of that, I would love to do research work for a museum or something like that.

i toyed with law school. did pre law during my undergrad, not out of the question for my future.

i used to work in a museum here in l.a., museum of contemporary art, in the exibitions dept. turned into a lucrative freelance career. maybe you can try an internship at a museum to gain experience? good luck to you.

[jourmapac]

i am somewhere in the sahara desert, looking, of all things for water (or oil), depending on who is asking me to look ...

working for 12 hours a day, 7 times a week, with 2 fridays off a month ...

takes a year before i earn a vacation and see my family ...

i dont hate my work but i do wish for something better, but heck i need to put food on the table for my families so ROCK ON!!

[edcha]

Prog,

I am/was an architect.
...
What I'm trying to say is, the grass always seems greener from the other side.

Those who are doing what they love, in a harmonious environment;
and can make a righteous, healthy living off of it are truly blessed.

The rest of us have got sob stories about work.
Whatever we make will always be less than what others will say we need.
We will always have to deal with inferiors who frustrate us.
We will always know of more successful contemporaries.

You have one undeniable asset: your youth.

You still have a lot of gas in the tank, and you should look at any perceived LACK of opportunity
as a valuable breathing space to plan and prepare for what you're going to do when opportunity arises.
When your US economy inevitably picks up, you need to be ready to move fast and confidently.
Get prepped.

JM2, and Good luck.
-wech

This post gets my vote as most profound and substance-filled ever here on MR. Nicely said, Wech. Hopefully, it's just as profound when I'm sober.

Of course, I haven't read all the MR posts; but I have a strong feeling that you are right, SJ.
This post gets my vote, too! Great job, Wech!

[edcha]

I HATE my job...
HATE my life...
I HATE decisions I've made and where I am now. I had my IQ officially tested three times growing up and every time it charted over a 130. I got amazing grades through elementary and middle school, won many contests and awards, was a three-sport athlete and had a bright future ahead of me...
....
College went splendidly, I was on the Deans' List, played football, and was getting a great reputation as an amazing journalist, witty video editor, and music expert. It was the best time of my life...
I HATE most of my friends and people I know...
I HATE where I live and what happens from day to day. I have little expendable money, too much free time, nothing to do, no way out, no direction or hope.... I'm insecure about everything about myself and need to change ALOT before I can really be happy. This is not the life I saw myself having at 20, and this will probably end up being my life, my whole life, and I can't fucking stand it....

... I needed to get all of this shit out to someone, somewhere... it's been bothering me for a LONG TIME and I needed to unload. And this was the perfect thread to do so on.

It just SUCKS, with the economy the way it is, me living where I am, the decisions I've already made, and the way it looks like everything is going.... I'm STUCK.

PROG,
(If you have the chance, kindly check your PM box...the version I sent over there includes a little personal info about my family, so you know where I'm coming from...)

I will not give you a specific list of steps to take, because I don’t know exactly what you want in life; and what your definitions of happiness and success are. My objective is just to give you a little hope, and perhaps a little encouragement to decide—to make a positive difference in your life. And no, I'm not trying to play a Tony Robbins here!

You are pretty young, smart, and I presume, healthy—these are your most important assets that you need to capitalize on! Don’t beat yourself up! You are too young to give up! YOU ARE NOT STUCK, MAN! You still have about 40 years or more left for any new career you opt to pursue! I say, with total confidence that---you can practically start from zero, and totally re-invent yourself! That is—IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT & IF YOU ARE TOTALLY COMMITTED TO PURSUE WHAT YOU WANT! That is a decision that only you—and you alone---can make!

You have two choices---continue feeling totally messed up, helpless, and exerting no significant effort to improve your lot, OR get off your behind and start SHAPING YOUR FUTURE—the way you envision it! IT’S NOT TOO LATE. It’s not the 9th inning yet—consider that it's just the 2nd inning, man! Don’t make your environment (less-than-ideal friends, parents, neighbors, community, etc.) as excuses for not taking positive action for your future. WHAT MATTERS IS NOT THE CIRCUMSTANCE ITSELF, BUT HOW YOU RESPOND TO IT! Get that home run, man! Home run does not necessarily mean only making a lot of money---it may also mean a happy, contented life. Money is very important, but it's not everything. Opportunities are supposed to abound here in America! That is the reason some people outside the U.S. are literally dying to get here! You have been here all your life, man! You are totally free to explore opportunities as you desire. That is a great privilege by itself. You have the potential and the ability to make it! Please be mindful that it’s not only your future---but the future of your would-be-children--- that are at stake here. Your past mistakes, frustrations, and failures don’t matter anymore. For practical purposes, they don’t count. It’s all in your mind! Dwelling on them is like lifting unnecessary and unwanted weights on your shoulders! Believing strongly that you can do it---is winning half the battle. Commitment to pursue it---despite the odds---completes the other half!

In this knowledge-based era of ours, you can not depend on luck. They say that the harder you work, the luckier you get. It’s pretty competitive out there. Preparation, training and education are the key success factors. There is no short cut that I know of. You said you hate your job… I say it’s time to choose something that you love doing—and at the same time, with a great demand in the job market. Assess your strengths---focus and build on them. You may want to re-visit your college interests: you said you were an amazing journalist, witty video editor, and music expert---that’s not a bad initial choice list at all. I think somebody mentioned pharmacy...I believe that's a great field, with high demand. Sacrificing the next 3-5 years (maybe more) for focused or specialized training and education on your newly-chosen field is a great idea. This may include on-the-job training, formal schooling, online courses, etc. Since money is definitely an issue, you may want to explore some financial support possibilities (grants, assistantships, and loans). I believe 3-5 years of sacrifice is very reasonable---in exchange for freedom from your current situation---and considering the still relatively long remaining period of your working life. Go for it, man! You can do it!

[SusieP]

Blimey Prog, you do sound unhappy!
And we can't have that. It just will not do.

You need to get a 2nd job for a while and grit your teeth doing both jobs until your debts are either cleared or so small as to not be a millstone around your neck. I did that. It was hard, but I did it and left the 2nd job as soon as the debts were paid.
Then, move to a place of your own - either a tiny place on your own or a shared space with someone who doesn't bug you.
A small, affordable space can still be a happy home. And you will have a happier relationship with your folks once you live apart from them.

Also, a high paid job which doesn't make you happy is worse than being unemployed IMO.
As long as you can cover your bills and enjoy the simple things in life, take a low paid job which you love - and you will be happier than you are now in a low paid job you hate. There is always another way to make a living once you rise above your misery and look at things more clearly.
You don't need STUFF to be happy. Or loads of money.
I worked as a Civil servant and then in Banking for ages. All well paid, respectable jobs with pensions etc - but I HATED them. I was so unhappy for years.
Then I had an accident which took 2 years to recover from. Two years away from that lousy bank made me realise how shitty I felt working there.
It took that serious accident to make me change my life. And Oh how I wish I'd done it years earlier.
Now I live from hand to mouth singing in bars and clubs, but I get enough gigs to pay the bills and I am so much more happy than I was in those 'proper' jobs.

Don't be like me and wait until something bad changes your life.
Do it now while you are still a pup.

Take a deep breath............you can do it.

xxx

[The Sushi Hunter]

I HATE my job. I get $7.25 an hour to glue together hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of fucking boxes. Every now and then I get to drive a forklift for 30 seconds. Woopity fucking doo. Raises once a year, and they're insignificant. The office guys at the factory only get like $15/hr and struggle too. It SUCKS.

I HATE my life. I'm stuck living at home with a possessive mother and a father who can't manage finances worth shit, and always has to "borrow" money from me... and he makes $50K a year!! I love them both, but it's hard to live with them. Not to mention my little sisters, who get away with everything and intrude on everything in my life. I sleep on a mattress on a floor, have very little to truly call my own, and drive a gay ass purple minivan.

I HATE decisions I've made and where I am now. I had my IQ officially tested three times growing up and every time it charted over a 130. I got amazing grades through elementary and middle school, won many contests and awards, was a three-sport athlete and had a bright future ahead of me. That's when I got arrogant, careless, and complacent. My GPA nosedived from a 4.0 to a 2.9 at the end of my freshman year because I finally stood up to bullies and got my ass suspended, refused to do homework, and cared more about useless crap than school. I managed to get my GPA back up to 3.3 by the time I graduated with a 28 on the ACT.... not great, but respectable, but yet FAR under what I was capable of.

I was obsessed with sports and wanted to prove to everyone that I could play college football.... SO, instead of looking at legitimate colleges for educational purposes, I looked at expensive private schools (which were the only ones that wanted me to play football, due to near-fatal meningitis stunting my growth my 10th grade year and keeping me at a meager, unimpressive 5'10"). My guidance adviser only cared about minorities and the class top 10.... so I got no guidance from her, and then my parents never went to college, so they went into the whole thing blind too.

College went splendidly, I was on the Deans' List, played football, and was getting a great reputation as an amazing journalist, witty video editor, and music expert. It was the best time of my life, and even though I was at a shitty expensive college, things were looking up for me. Due to it being shitty and expensive, though, I fell into debt at the end of the year that I STILL have yet to pay off due to how much of it I have.... and I don't think I'll be getting back to college for at least a couple years. I may have to start all over again, because my dumb ass failed to realize that communications majors only average something like $23,000/yr starting out.

I HATE most of my friends and people I know. I've lost a lot of my closest friends from high school due to the fact that they're living at their respective colleges now, with their own lives and tracks and ambitions and everything completely straightened out, and never come back home, and have no need for those who have been left behind. The friends I do have now, are all uncultured, unsophisticated folk with poor taste in EVERYTHING, and have very little to offer in the way of ANYTHING.. they're no fun and only ever want to play video games and/or sit around and smoke weed... and I'm not into that. My town is filled with uneducated, directionless bumblefucks who do nothing but annoy, soak up government checks, and smell like onion bagels.

I HATE where I live and what happens from day to day. I have little expendable money, too much free time, nothing to do, no way out, no direction or hope.... I'm insecure about everything about myself and need to change ALOT before I can really be happy. This is not the life I saw myself having at 20, and this will probably end up being my life, my whole life, and I can't fucking stand it....

I know someone's going to tell me to suck it up.. someone's going to tell me to think positive, someone's going to go "don't stop believin'," someone's going to call me a name or whatever. BUT.. I don't care, I needed to get all of this shit out to someone, somewhere... it's been bothering me for a LONG TIME and I needed to unload. And this was the perfect thread to do so on.

It just SUCKS, with the economy the way it is, me living where I am, the decisions I've already made, and the way it looks like everything is going.... I'm STUCK.

Wow, what a positive outlook you have. That will take you places.