Lighten up, Y'all

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I am...

Martha
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10%
Maxine
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37%
this is a stoopid thread
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Total votes : 30

Lighten up, Y'all

Postby (Crazy)Dulce Lady » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:39 am

I've got 1,000 acres of cotton in the field that can't be harvested cuz it has been raining for a week!!! and more rain is forecast!!!

so chill and have a laugh. if ya don't, you'll just wanna cry. hehe



(characters are Martha Stewart and Maxine, the cartoon old, grouchy lady)


Are you a Martha or Maxine? (I am SO a Maxine)


*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.


*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!



To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.


Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.



When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.


Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.


If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'


If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'


Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.


Celery? Never heard of it!



Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.


The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.



Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.



Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! 'All' your pains go away.


If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.


Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.


Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.


Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!

:lol:
Last edited by (Crazy)Dulce Lady on Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby CatEyes » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:41 am

Oh Maxine - 100%

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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:45 am

Maxine.

And to whoever voted that this is a stupid thread ... :evil:

I've seen plenty of threads around here that are utterly lame and useless.
I wish I could get away with linking them. :twisted: :lol: At least this one is funny.
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Postby Behshad » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:46 am

Mimi does drugs.... :lol: :oops: :shock:
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Postby Don » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:50 am

Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:

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Postby Don » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:53 am

bluejeangirl76 wrote:Maxine.

And to whoever voted that this is a stupid thread ... :evil:

I've seen plenty of threads around here that are utterly lame and useless.
I wish I could get away with linking them. :twisted: :lol: At least this one is funny.


It's not stupid, it's stoopid. We're talkin Texas here. Get your lingo straight.
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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:54 am

Gunbot wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:Maxine.

And to whoever voted that this is a stupid thread ... :evil:

I've seen plenty of threads around here that are utterly lame and useless.
I wish I could get away with linking them. :twisted: :lol: At least this one is funny.


It's not stupid, it's stoopid. We're talkin Texas here. Get your lingo straight.


Noted.

p.s. eat me. :evil: :lol:
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Postby DrFU » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:56 am

Gunbot wrote:Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:

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bah! Don't you have scantily clad avatars to search for? :lol:
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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:58 am

DrFU wrote:
Gunbot wrote:Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:



bah! Don't you have scantily clad avatars to search for? :lol:


You just had to mention that. :x
I'm enjoying his Badbatzmaru just fine, thank you ever so slightly.
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Postby Rick » Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:01 am

bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Gunbot wrote:Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:



bah! Don't you have scantily clad avatars to search for? :lol:


You just had to mention that. :x
I'm enjoying his Badbatzmaru just fine, thank you ever so slightly.


Horse shit. I say get back to the scantily clad ones! :twisted:

And by the way, and with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any shit stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:
I like to sit out on the front porch, where the birds can see me, eating a plate of scrambled eggs, just so they know what I'm capable of.
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Postby Don » Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:06 am

Rick wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Gunbot wrote:Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:



bah! Don't you have scantily clad avatars to search for? :lol:


You just had to mention that. :x
I'm enjoying his Badbatzmaru just fine, thank you ever so slightly.


Horse shit. I say get back to the scantily clad ones! :twisted:

And by the way, and with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any shit stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:


I'll look for a new avatar as soon as I'm done playing with Sailor Mars, beach edition.

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Postby Shadowsong » Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:58 am

Didn't know what the hell was going on
but all in all
I;m a Martha as I like to do things the best I can
even when I'm feeling just plain stupid

:P


That was hilarious
All except the wet cotton.
Hope that's not true

:P

OOOOOh wet cotton
That's a bad thing!

Is that those cotton ball thingy's that
the saying :Cotton pickin hands came from>
Sort of has a sharp hull sort of like a big piecs of popped corn?

MY MY MY
Ohhhh...I could hear JSS singing that!!!!

Oh back to our regularily scheduled program...

Hope that cotton works out for you
That is a real shame when mother nature comes at the wrong time!

:wink:
Last edited by Shadowsong on Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:38 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby cyndy! » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:08 am

please clarify the overall intent of your post. :wink:
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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:12 am

Rick wrote: with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any shit stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:


I think she was referring to the blazing WTF/JSS/Perry/whateverthefuck argument when she said lighten up. That one heated up nicely. But I agree, it had been simply heavenly around here without heaps of shit being stirred.

I blame Rhi. She left and the place almost caved in again. :shock: :lol:
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Postby Rick » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:14 am

bluejeangirl76 wrote:
Rick wrote: with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any shit stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:


I think she was referring to the blazing WTF/JSS/Perry/whateverthefuck argument when she said lighten up. That one heated up nicely. But I agree, it had been simply heavenly around here without heaps of shit being stirred.

I blame Rhi. She left and the place almost caved in again. :shock: :lol:


That's gotta be a lot of pressure on her. :lol:
I like to sit out on the front porch, where the birds can see me, eating a plate of scrambled eggs, just so they know what I'm capable of.
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Postby DrFU » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:16 am

Shadowsong wrote: wet cotton.



I was thinking BJG had been at it again & I missed it; had to scroll back up and see that it referred to actual cotton plants. :lol: 8) :lol:
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Postby lights1961 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:19 am

funny that no one wants to admit they are Martha. UMM i voted stupid thread. just because.

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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:23 am

DrFU wrote:
Shadowsong wrote: wet cotton.



I was thinking BJG had been at it again & I missed it; had to scroll back up and see that it referred to actual cotton plants. :lol: 8) :lol:


Fuck beans. I get blamed for everything.
Now I now how SMP feels. :(

Well, then from both Steve and I... eat us. :twisted: :lol:
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Postby lights1961 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:25 am

bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Shadowsong wrote: wet cotton.



I was thinking BJG had been at it again & I missed it; had to scroll back up and see that it referred to actual cotton plants. :lol: 8) :lol:


Fuck beans. I get blamed for everything.
Now I now how SMP feels. :(

Well, then from both Steve and I... eat us. :twisted: :lol:


CAN I.. I just BJG... hehe
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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:29 am

lights1961 wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Shadowsong wrote: wet cotton.



I was thinking BJG had been at it again & I missed it; had to scroll back up and see that it referred to actual cotton plants. :lol: 8) :lol:


Fuck beans. I get blamed for everything.
Now I now how SMP feels. :(

Well, then from both Steve and I... eat us. :twisted: :lol:


CAN I.. I just BJG... hehe


Bjg says :shock:

And Steve says :evil: :cry:
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Postby DrFU » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:32 am

bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Shadowsong wrote: wet cotton.



I was thinking BJG had been at it again & I missed it; had to scroll back up and see that it referred to actual cotton plants. :lol: 8) :lol:


Fuck beans. I get blamed for everything.


Have you been to Arizona lately??? :lol: 8) :shock:

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/s ... ndals.html

Typo fixers get probation for damaging rare sign

PHOENIX — When it comes to marking up historic signs, good grammar is a bad defense.

Two self-styled vigilantes against typos who defaced a more than 60-year-old, hand-painted sign at Grand Canyon National Park were sentenced to probation and banned from national parks for a year.

Jeff Deck and Benjamin Herson pleaded guilty Aug. 11 for the damage done March 28 at the park's Desert View Watchtower. The sign was made by Mary Elizabeth Jane Colter, the architect who designed the rustic 1930s watchtower and other Grand Canyon-area landmarks.

Deck and Herson, both 28, toured the United States this spring, wiping out errors on government and private signs. They were interviewed by NPR and the Chicago Tribune, which called them "a pair of Kerouacs armed with Sharpies and erasers and righteous indignation."

An affidavit by National Park Service agent Christopher A. Smith said investigators learned of the vandalism from an Internet site operated by Deck on behalf of the Typo Eradication Advancement League, or TEAL.

Authorities said a diary written by Deck reported that while visiting the watchtower, he and Herson "discovered a hand-rendered sign inside that, I regret to report, contained a few errors."

The fiberboard sign has yellow lettering with a black background. Deck wrote that they used a marker to cover an erroneous apostrophe, put the apostrophe in its proper place with white-out and added a comma.

The misspelled word "emense" was not fixed, Deck wrote, because "I was reluctant to disfigure the sign any further. ... Still, I think I shall be haunted by that perversity, emense, in my train-whistle-blighted dreams tonight."

Deck, of Somerville, Mass., and Herson, of Virginia Beach, Va., pleaded guilty to conspiracy to vandalize government property.

They were sentenced to a year's probation, during which they cannot enter any national park or modify any public signs. They were also ordered to pay $3,035 to repair the watchtower sign.

The TEAL Web site now has only this message — "Statement on the signage of our National Parks and public lands to come" — without a period.
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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:36 am

DrFU wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Shadowsong wrote: wet cotton.



I was thinking BJG had been at it again & I missed it; had to scroll back up and see that it referred to actual cotton plants. :lol: 8) :lol:


Fuck beans. I get blamed for everything.


Have you been to Arizona lately??? :lol: 8) :shock:

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/s ... ndals.html

Typo fixers get probation for damaging rare sign



Actually I lived there. But I was never at the Grand Canyon.
That must have been you-know-who. He's a MENACE, I tell you.

However, that DOES sound very suspiciously like something I would do. :D
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Postby (Crazy)Dulce Lady » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:22 am

Rick wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Gunbot wrote:Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:



bah! Don't you have scantily clad avatars to search for? :lol:


You just had to mention that. :x
I'm enjoying his Badbatzmaru just fine, thank you ever so slightly.


Horse shit. I say get back to the scantily clad ones! :twisted:

And by the way, and with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any schutt stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:


spelling fixed.

I am TOTALLLLLLLLYYYYY Martha. gotta go. more spelling to correct.
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Postby (Crazy)Dulce Lady » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:24 am

Rick wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Gunbot wrote:Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:



bah! Don't you have scantily clad avatars to search for? :lol:


You just had to mention that. :x
I'm enjoying his Badbatzmaru just fine, thank you ever so slightly.


Horse schutt. I say get back to the scantily clad ones! :twisted:

And by the way, and with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any shit stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:


fixed
Last edited by (Crazy)Dulce Lady on Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby (Crazy)Dulce Lady » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:24 am

bluejeangirl76 wrote:
Rick wrote: with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any shit stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:


I think she was referring to the blazing WTF/JSS/Perry/whateverthefuck argument when she said lighten up. That one heated up nicely. But I agree, it had been simply heavenly around here without heaps of schutt being stirred.

I blame Rhi. She left and the place almost caved in again. :shock: :lol:


fixed
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Postby Rick » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:27 am

(Crazy)Dulce Lady wrote:
Rick wrote:
bluejeangirl76 wrote:
DrFU wrote:
Gunbot wrote:Don't you have some little ponies or Sailor moon dolls to play with? :lol: :lol:



bah! Don't you have scantily clad avatars to search for? :lol:


You just had to mention that. :x
I'm enjoying his Badbatzmaru just fine, thank you ever so slightly.


Horse schutt. I say get back to the scantily clad ones! :twisted:

And by the way, and with all due respect to Crazy Deb, I don't think we need to lighten up. There hasn't been any shit stirred up around here in a while. I kind of enjoyed it. :lol:


fixed


Thanks Debbie, I wasn't thinking. :lol:
I like to sit out on the front porch, where the birds can see me, eating a plate of scrambled eggs, just so they know what I'm capable of.
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Postby (Crazy)Dulce Lady » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:29 am

Behshad wrote:Mimi does drugs.... :lol: :oops: :shock:


i am NOT an inside kinda girl. that's why I taught BAND instead of speling--taking the band to football games is a ROAD TRIP!!!!

get me outta here.....i'm getting punchy.

and yup, BJG, the wet cotton thang is totally true. :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Postby (Crazy)Dulce Lady » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:31 am

Rick wrote:[
Thanks Debbie, I wasn't thinking. :lol:

hehe

you still have d hall. listen to Lightening Strikes Again 3 times before tomorrow.

j/k rip!!
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Postby Rick » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:36 am

(Crazy)Dulce Lady wrote:
Behshad wrote:Mimi does drugs.... :lol: :oops: :shock:


i am NOT an inside kinda girl. that's why I taught BAND instead of speling--taking the band to football games is a ROAD TRIP!!!!

get me outta here.....i'm getting punchy.

and yup, BJG, the wet cotton thang is totally true. :cry: :cry: :cry:


Hard to believe. Especially August in Texas. Well I guess you get more stormage down there by the gulf. Sorry to hear about that. Could probably plant rice now, huh?
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Postby bluejeangirl76 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:07 am

(Crazy)Dulce Lady wrote:and yup, BJG, the wet cotton thang is totally true. :cry: :cry: :cry:


I have no idea what that means or refers to. What did I say?
(shit, was I posting in my sleep again? :shock: )

(and do NOT edit me so it says "schutt"... when I say shit, I mean SHIT :lol: )
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