OT-So Sad...

[SusieP]

Thanks, Susie...it's VERY hard to watch mom going through this. Dad is actually handling it better than I am. He actually started back to doing his oil painting as his 'escape'. He sits out in the garage now during his free time and paints beautiful paintings. I inherited his artistic eye with my photography.

Mom was always overly affectionate with me growing up...always hugging me for no reason. Now it's a rarity to get a hug, or something other than "you little bitch" from her.

Aww...
That is one of the toughest things, I've seen loved ones go through it. Don't think I could be strong enough to watch one of my parents with it. I hope you and your family are blessed with the strength you need and just hold onto the good times, like the hugs for no reason.

Thanks, Rhiannon...there are times I just sit and bawl, wishing for those hugs for no reason.

Rhi is right.
And I find that bawling really helps. It releases lots of hurt and frustration and even anger. Anger that they have left you [in my case] or anger that your Mom calls you a bitch sometimes or that your Dad doesn't hug as often as you'd like.

I find it hard to bawl in front of anyone, but I have a quiet place I can drive to [alone] and just let it all out when I need to.
And it helps me.

[SusieP]

I'm no shrink, but if your Dad is a person who 'steps back' and your Mom is a hugger, it could have gone two ways - your Dad would become a hugger too, or your Mom would overcompensate for the hugs she didn't get from your Dad by wanting more of them from you.

And the 'bitch' comments are the illness manifesting itself. It's hard, but you can't take that personally.
And your Dad is handling it well because he has always kept his emotions close to his chest. It's his way.
We all have our own ways of handling the stuff life throws at us.
And as long as we understand that and accept how others cope [even if it is different to how WE cope] we get through.

That's my take on it anyway.
xxx

My logical mind tells me not to pay attention to what she says....that it's the disease... but it still hurts to hear it come out of her mouth. Dad has learned to just walk away. I have taken to sitting outside on the front porch ALOT on my days off...

Like I said, we all have our own way of coping. You just keep doing what ever it is you need to do to get through.

[Rhiannon]

I get my sarcasm from dad, too.... so maybe I am daddy's girl after all.

I am a Daddy's Girl... always was. I was my Papa's girl, too. Which ALWAYS pissed my Granny off.

[SusieP]

I get my sarcasm from dad, too.... so maybe I am daddy's girl after all.

I am a Daddy's Girl... always was. I was my Papa's girl, too. Which ALWAYS pissed my Granny off.

Awww she obviously didn't have the same sense of humour. You are so funny. I love your sarcasm. Makes me grin.

[Rhiannon]

I get my sarcasm from dad, too.... so maybe I am daddy's girl after all.

I am a Daddy's Girl... always was. I was my Papa's girl, too. Which ALWAYS pissed my Granny off.

Awww she obviously didn't have the same sense of humour. You are so funny. I love your sarcasm. Makes me grin.

I like how you're always up to no good... {if ya know what I mean}

[SusieP]

I get my sarcasm from dad, too.... so maybe I am daddy's girl after all.

I am a Daddy's Girl... always was. I was my Papa's girl, too. Which ALWAYS pissed my Granny off.

Awww she obviously didn't have the same sense of humour. You are so funny. I love your sarcasm. Makes me grin.

I like how you're always up to no good... {if ya know what I mean}

Allegedly.

[Melissa]

Thanks, Susie...it's VERY hard to watch mom going through this. Dad is actually handling it better than I am. He actually started back to doing his oil painting as his 'escape'. He sits out in the garage now during his free time and paints beautiful paintings. I inherited his artistic eye with my photography.

Mom was always overly affectionate with me growing up...always hugging me for no reason. Now it's a rarity to get a hug, or something other than "you little bitch" from her.

Aww...
That is one of the toughest things, I've seen loved ones go through it. Don't think I could be strong enough to watch one of my parents with it. I hope you and your family are blessed with the strength you need and just hold onto the good times, like the hugs for no reason.

Thanks, Rhiannon...there are times I just sit and bawl, wishing for those hugs for no reason.

Rhi is right.
And I find that bawling really helps. It releases lots of hurt and frustration and even anger. Anger that they have left you [in my case] or anger that your Mom calls you a bitch sometimes or that your Dad doesn't hug as often as you'd like.

I find it hard to bawl in front of anyone, but I have a quiet place I can drive to [alone] and just let it all out when I need to.
And it helps me.

That is so true, bawling does help. My commute to work and home is long, so that's usually when I do mine if I need to, lol. Whether you lose your father or mother, and no matter how young or old you are when it happens, it impacts you greatly for the rest of your life, and I'm finally just very recently learning that that's normal and ok. I can look back, and also move on, at the same time.

[bluejeangirl76]

That is so true, bawling does help. My commute to work and home is long, so that's usually when I do mine if I need to, lol. Whether you lose your father or mother, and no matter how young or old you are when it happens, it impacts you greatly for the rest of your life, and I'm finally just very recently learning that that's normal and ok. I can look back, and also move on, at the same time.

I don't seem to ever bawl over it, but I do have moments, and when it does start to get to me... I end up dreaming about my dad. I prefer that because at least that way, I get to see him.

Here's a story: the first time I ever heard "When I Think of You", and before I ever heard anything about what it was about, the lyrics made me cry like crazy... the part about dreaming, etc.

I have my little personal moments of how I sort of keep my dad close now though... and I know he sees it and smiles. I'm thankful to have had the father I did. I got real lucky.

[Fourt9rkim]

Thanks, Susie...it's VERY hard to watch mom going through this. Dad is actually handling it better than I am. He actually started back to doing his oil painting as his 'escape'. He sits out in the garage now during his free time and paints beautiful paintings. I inherited his artistic eye with my photography.

Mom was always overly affectionate with me growing up...always hugging me for no reason. Now it's a rarity to get a hug, or something other than "you little bitch" from her.

Aww...
That is one of the toughest things, I've seen loved ones go through it. Don't think I could be strong enough to watch one of my parents with it. I hope you and your family are blessed with the strength you need and just hold onto the good times, like the hugs for no reason.

Thanks, Rhiannon...there are times I just sit and bawl, wishing for those hugs for no reason.

Rhi is right.
And I find that bawling really helps. It releases lots of hurt and frustration and even anger. Anger that they have left you [in my case] or anger that your Mom calls you a bitch sometimes or that your Dad doesn't hug as often as you'd like.

I find it hard to bawl in front of anyone, but I have a quiet place I can drive to [alone] and just let it all out when I need to.
And it helps me.

Hell, I cry at the drop of a hat...and I don't care who sees it! Bawling does help release the tension, frustration and hurt - not so much at dad, because I guess I'm used to his non-affection....but more so at mom...even though I know it's the disease.

[Don]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

[Fourt9rkim]

I get my sarcasm from dad, too.... so maybe I am daddy's girl after all.

I am a Daddy's Girl... always was. I was my Papa's girl, too. Which ALWAYS pissed my Granny off.

I only had one grandpa growing up....mom's dad passed away LONG before I was born, so I only knew my dad's dad....I had a good relationship with him.... I'd always ask him what nationalities we were on his side, and he'd always say, "Oh honey...just tell everyone you're a Heintz 57...."

[Fourt9rkim]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

I cry, let it out, then I'm over it.

[Deb]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

So what about if you cry at happy occasions too?!

[SusieP]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

You are right.
It is exactly a year since I lost my Mom. So I am not beating myself up about the sessions of heavy tears yet.
Because of losing my Dad, I know that the first anniversary of everything, [the actual passing, the funeral, their Birthday, YOUR Birthday, Christmas, New Years and then Mother's/Father's Day] brings it all back.

And I know that it takes time for that raw feeling to take a back seat.
For me with Dad, The first and second anniversaries of everything I still filled up with tears. By the third year I was ok.
So I guess two years of sobbing when something triggers me off is MY particular time scale.
But we are all different.
Some people find it impossible to cry at all. I do worry about them because I worry that they are holding it in, and I believe that it is better out than in.
xxx

[SusieP]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

I cry, let it out, then I'm over it.

Me too.
I didn't mean I sobbed non stop for a year!

I meant that during that year [and I expect the next one too] I cry hard when something triggered me off.

[Don]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

So what about if you cry at happy occasions too?!

The only time I can imagine you crying for 10 minutes during a happy occasion would have to be sex.

[Fourt9rkim]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

I cry, let it out, then I'm over it.

Me too.
I didn't mean I sobbed non stop for a year!

I meant that during that year [and I expect the next one too] I cry hard when something triggered me off.

I cry hard now....and I mean HARD crying....but I feel so much better afterward!

[Deb]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

So what about if you cry at happy occasions too?!

The only time I can imagine you crying for 10 minutes during a happy occasion would have to be sex.

Um, that's NOT a cry.......

[Deb]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

I cry, let it out, then I'm over it.

Me too.
I didn't mean I sobbed non stop for a year!

I meant that during that year [and I expect the next one too] I cry hard when something triggered me off.

I cry hard now....and I mean HARD crying....but I feel so much better afterward!

Those are the best ones............if you get the after-cry hiccups you know you've had a damn good bawl.

[Melissa]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

I cry, let it out, then I'm over it.

Me too.
I didn't mean I sobbed non stop for a year!

I meant that during that year [and I expect the next one too] I cry hard when something triggered me off.

I cry hard now....and I mean HARD crying....but I feel so much better afterward!

Those are the best ones............if you get the after-cry hiccups you know you've had a damn good bawl.

So true, and it does feel better after, so it does some good, lol. I don't bawl all the time either, and sometimes they are happy cry sessions, lol. I'm sure both will come & go for the rest of my life, and that's ok

[Michigan Girl]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

So what about if you cry at happy occasions too?!

The only time I can imagine you crying for 10 minutes during a happy occasion would have to be sex.

Um, that's NOT a cry.......

U so BAD!!!

Wow, Sad thread...so sorry!!

[SusieP]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

So what about if you cry at happy occasions too?!

The only time I can imagine you crying for 10 minutes during a happy occasion would have to be sex.

Um, that's NOT a cry.......

U so BAD!!!

Wow, Sad thread...so sorry!!

Yeah, lets cheer things up,

this'll make you laugh................or vomit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgX-hiQdfFw

[Michigan Girl]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

So what about if you cry at happy occasions too?!

The only time I can imagine you crying for 10 minutes during a happy occasion would have to be sex.

Um, that's NOT a cry.......

U so BAD!!!

Wow, Sad thread...so sorry!!

Yeah, lets cheer things up,

this'll make you laugh................or vomit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgX-hiQdfFw

[Don]

Bark/Meow contest

[Rhiannon]

Cheer up everybody!

[SusieP]

And how about this for a groovy tune???




http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/binka/mus ... aoke.shtml


Well, I'm all cheered up.

[Fourt9rkim]

[artist4perry]

[Just Mindy]

10 minute cryouts are good for you once in awhile. There has to be limit though or you're doing your self more harm than good, creating a crutch instead of facing the problem or grief.

So what about if you cry at happy occasions too?!

I cried at my brother's wedding.

Actually I still cry when I think about who he married but that's another story.

[bluejeangirl76]

I love that.