OT: The Chicken Question

[Arianddu]

JSS
I didn't even know the chicken went across the road until Kevin Cronin told me...

Tito
The chicken crossed the road to let you live.

Andrew
If one more chicken goes across the road I will close this road.

Michael Jackson
The chicken's parents said it's ok for the chicken to cross the road

stevew2 It crosed the road, if you know what I mean.

ScarabGator Hey, so you're a chick, I bet you really know how to fluff your feathers!!

love you guys!

[artist4perry]

JSS
I didn't even know the chicken went across the road until Kevin Cronin told me...

Tito
The chicken crossed the road to let you live.

Andrew
If one more chicken goes across the road I will close this road.

Michael Jackson
The chicken's parents said it's ok for the chicken to cross the road

stevew2 It crosed the road, if you know what I mean.

ScarabGator Hey, so you're a chick, I bet you really know how to fluff your feathers!!

love you guys!

[artist4perry]

why did the koala cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken

Is this Aussie humor? I don't get it. splain plz

Yes, it's Aussie humour of a particularly purile, surreal sort. Along with "What's brown and sticky? A stick" and "What's green on the outside and yellow on the inside? A banana disguised as a cucumber." You aren't meant to laugh, you're meant to groan.

You made my husband laugh! So if that banana fell in a vat of vinegar would he be in a pickle?

I never said I was funny..................

Argh!! Pickle! Like the strawberry who fell into a pot and got into a jam, the orange who stopped (it ran out of juice) and the grape that never cried when it was stepped on, it just let out a little wine...

So, you've met my Dad?

Just to clarify, my Dad tells jokes like these.........groan city! LOL! In the south they call it CORNY jokes.

[DrFU]

what's white and hangs off clouds? The coming of the gods.

[Deb]

JSS
I didn't even know the chicken went across the road until Kevin Cronin told me...

Tito
The chicken crossed the road to let you live.

Andrew
If one more chicken goes across the road I will close this road.

LOL!

[Arianddu]

why did the koala cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken

Is this Aussie humor? I don't get it. splain plz

Yes, it's Aussie humour of a particularly purile, surreal sort. Along with "What's brown and sticky? A stick" and "What's green on the outside and yellow on the inside? A banana disguised as a cucumber." You aren't meant to laugh, you're meant to groan.

You made my husband laugh! So if that banana fell in a vat of vinegar would he be in a pickle?

I never said I was funny..................

Argh!! Pickle! Like the strawberry who fell into a pot and got into a jam, the orange who stopped (it ran out of juice) and the grape that never cried when it was stepped on, it just let out a little wine...

So, you've met my Dad?

Just to clarify, my Dad tells jokes like these.........groan city! LOL! In the south they call it CORNY jokes.

Shh! They might hear you - don't you kow corn has ears? And pototatoes have eyes, and the beans talk!
Yeah, those are corny jokes. But the one's I specifically refer to as 'Aussie' humour (although I'm sure other people tell 'em too) are the surrealistic ones that the answer is either just weird or at least unpredictable. Like the pool table one.

I am, I am afraid, a font of terrible, terrible jokes of all kinds:

What's the difference between a man and a condom? Condoms have changed; they're no longer thick and insensitive.

Why do women get married in white? To match all the other kitchen appliences. (Got to be sexist both ways, I guess )

What's pink and red, sits in a corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing its hair with a vegetable peeler.

How can you tell if there is an elephant in the lift? You can smell the peanuts on its breath.

What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac and a blonde? The prostitute says 'have you finished yet?' the nymphomaniac says 'have you finished already?' and the blonde says 'beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...'

[artist4perry]

why did the koala cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken

Is this Aussie humor? I don't get it. splain plz

Yes, it's Aussie humour of a particularly purile, surreal sort. Along with "What's brown and sticky? A stick" and "What's green on the outside and yellow on the inside? A banana disguised as a cucumber." You aren't meant to laugh, you're meant to groan.

You made my husband laugh! So if that banana fell in a vat of vinegar would he be in a pickle?

I never said I was funny..................

Argh!! Pickle! Like the strawberry who fell into a pot and got into a jam, the orange who stopped (it ran out of juice) and the grape that never cried when it was stepped on, it just let out a little wine...

So, you've met my Dad?

Just to clarify, my Dad tells jokes like these.........groan city! LOL! In the south they call it CORNY jokes.

Shh! They might hear you - don't you kow corn has ears? And pototatoes have eyes, and the beans talk!
Yeah, those are corny jokes. But the one's I specifically refer to as 'Aussie' humour (although I'm sure other people tell 'em too) are the surrealistic ones that the answer is either just weird or at least unpredictable. Like the pool table one.

I am, I am afraid, a font of terrible, terrible jokes of all kinds:

What's the difference between a man and a condom? Condoms have changed; they're no longer thick and insensitive.

Why do women get married in white? To match all the other kitchen appliences. (Got to be sexist both ways, I guess )

What's pink and red, sits in a corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.How can you tell if there is an elephant in the lift? You can smell the peanuts on its breath.

What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac and a blonde? The prostitute says 'have you finished yet?' the nymphomaniac says 'have you finished already?' and the blonde says 'beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...'

The one sounds like the dead baby jokes of the 80's.


Dead-Baby Jokes
What is funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume.
What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
No one cries when you chop up the baby.
What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
Dart-boards don't bleed.
What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
About 500 calories.
Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.
Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer?
The family used it to crack nuts.
Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room?
They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle.
Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
So you can see the expression on their faces.
Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
So that if its born dead they can make soup.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
How many babies fit in a blender?
Depends on how powerful the blender is.
How do you know when a baby is dead?
It doesn't cry if you nail its feet to the ceiling.
How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.
How do you save a drowning baby?
Harpoon it.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Pour gas over it and light a match. Woof.
How do you turn a baby into a cat?
Freeze it solid, then run it through a bandsaw. Meeow.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out again?
With Doritos.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off its head.
or:
A glass of soda water and 2 scoops of baby.
What do you call two abortions in a bucket?
Blood brothers.
What is red and is creeping up your leg?
An abortion with homesickness.
What is a foot long and can make a woman scream?
Stillbirth.
What is a foot long, blue, and makes women scream in the morning?
Crib death.
What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall?
Art.
What is red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
What is blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?
Baby with slashed floaties.
What is red and yellow and floats at the top of the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.
What is red and hangs around trees?
A baby hit by a snow blower.
What is green and hangs around trees?
Same baby 3 weeks later.
What is pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
What is pink and goes black with a "hiss."?
A baby thrown into a furnace.
What is brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.
What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
What is black and goes up and down?
A baby in a toaster.
What is red and hangs out of the back of a train?
A miscarriage.
What is red and goes round and round?
A baby in a garbage disposal.
What is red and swings back and forth?
A baby on a meat hook.
What is red, screams, and goes around in circles?
A baby nailed to the floor.
What is red and sits in the corner?
A baby with razor blades.
What is blue and sits in the corner?
A baby in a baggie.
What is black and sits in a corner?
A baby with it's finger in a power socket.
What is green and sits in the corner?
Same baby two weeks later.
What is black and charred?
A baby chewing on an extension cord.

[Arianddu]

What's pink and red, sits in a corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

The one sounds like the dead baby jokes of the 80's.

I'm pretty sure those actually started in Australia; following the Azaria Chamberlain disappearance, there were a lot of baby/dingo jokes, and after a while, the dingos disappeared. Some of those early ones I remember were

Did you hear about the irish dingo? Ate the tent.

What do you call a busload of babies going to Ayres Rock? Meals on wheels.

there were dozens more, but I can't remember any of them now. Come to think of it, there were dozens of Diana jokes after she died, but I can only remember 2 of those as well:

Did you hear Mercedes is trying to hire a mechanic from British Leyland? They're desperate for anyone who knows how to get an engine out of a Princess.

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Michael Hutchence? Only one of them belted up (yes, I know - in very poor taste.)

[artist4perry]

What's pink and red, sits in a corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

The one sounds like the dead baby jokes of the 80's.

I'm pretty sure those actually started in Australia; following the Azaria Chamberlain disappearance, there were a lot of baby/dingo jokes, and after a while, the dingos disappeared. Some of those early ones I remember were

Did you hear about the irish dingo? Ate the tent.

What do you call a busload of babies going to Ayres Rock? Meals on wheels.

there were dozens more, but I can't remember any of them now. Come to think of it, there were dozens of Diana jokes after she died, but I can only remember 2 of those as well:

Did you hear Mercedes is trying to hire a mechanic from British Leyland? They're desperate for anyone who knows how to get an engine out of a Princess.

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Michael Hutchence? Only one of them belted up (yes, I know - in very poor taste.)

Most jokes of that nature are in poor taste, but some still make you laugh! Who knows why.

[squirt1]

Except for the one about the babies this is one of the best topics EVER. I can't wait to pass it around !

[artist4perry]

Except for the one about the babies this is one of the best topics EVER. I can't wait to pass it around !

I never cared for the dead baby jokes, they were the rage of the 80's. I have a place for them though...................

[ScarabGator]

JSS
I didn't even know the chicken went across the road until Kevin Cronin told me...

Tito
The chicken crossed the road to let you live.

Andrew
If one more chicken goes across the road I will close this road.

Michael Jackson
The chicken's parents said it's ok for the chicken to cross the road

stevew2 It crosed the road, if you know what I mean.

ScarabGator Hey, so you're a chick, I bet you really know how to fluff your feathers!!

love you guys!

Can anyone get me that chicken's phone number...?

[lights1961]

JSS
I didn't even know the chicken went across the road until Kevin Cronin told me...

Tito
The chicken crossed the road to let you live.

Andrew
If one more chicken goes across the road I will close this road.

Michael Jackson
The chicken's parents said it's ok for the chicken to cross the road

stevew2 It crosed the road, if you know what I mean.

ScarabGator Hey, so you're a chick, I bet you really know how to fluff your feathers!!

love you guys!

Can anyone get me that chicken's phone number...?

just email it...

if a Iowa State Cyclone tried to run with the chicken it would fumble it.

[Angel]

The one sounds like the dead baby jokes of the 80's.

There is NOTHING funny about any of those jokes......NOTHING.

[TRAGChick]

JSS
I didn't even know the chicken went across the road until Kevin Cronin told me...

Tito
The chicken crossed the road to let you live.

Andrew
If one more chicken goes across the road I will close this road.

Michael Jackson
The chicken's parents said it's ok for the chicken to cross the road

stevew2 It crosed the road, if you know what I mean.

ScarabGator Hey, so you're a chick, I bet you really know how to fluff your feathers!!

love you guys!

These are great!

[artist4perry]

The one sounds like the dead baby jokes of the 80's.

There is NOTHING funny about any of those jokes......NOTHING.

I said I never cared for them, I just said one of her jokes reminded me of those crass jokes.

[Angel]

The one sounds like the dead baby jokes of the 80's.

There is NOTHING funny about any of those jokes......NOTHING.

I said I never cared for them, I just said one of her jokes reminded me of those crass jokes.

I think that these jokes don't even deserve the attention of being repeated or even referred to.

But, then again maybe I'm ultrasensitive since I lost twin nieces a year ago. Or maybe it's because of the handful of mothers that I've had to tell that their unborn babies have died. Or maybe it's because of the many mothers that I've helped to deliver the lifeless bodies of their stillborn babies. Or maybe it's because of all the babies that I've spent hours trying to resuscitate only to be unsuccessful in the end....I'm not sure which one makes me more sensitive and more pissed off that someone would make a joke of any of that.

There is no worse sound in the world than the cry of a mother that has just lost her baby....there is NOTHING funny about those jokes.

[nutz4Neal]

why did the koala cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken

Is this Aussie humor? I don't get it. splain plz

Why did the chicken cross the road?

ROSS VALORY - It wanted a mo bile phone.