OT: a question for parents out there

[artist4perry]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

[(Crazy)Dulce Lady]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

say "Thank you, Jesus", and pop in the '81 live from Houston video.

and now that they are grown, I say "Thank you Jesus" and pop in the Baltimore boot.

[StevePerryHair]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

say "Thank you, Jesus", and pop in the '81 live from Houston video.

and now that they are grown, I say "Thank you Jesus" and pop in the Baltimore boot.

[Melissa]

Threatening can work wonders, lol.

Agreed about the sense of humor though, you have to have one for things like when your son asks "Mom, what would happen if everyone on the planet farted at one time?", or when your 3 year old sticks quarters in the car cd player because she thought they were "baby cd's"

That's too darn cute.

Unless the 3 year old was the child speaking and they were wondering how much trouble they would be in for jammimg the cd player with pennies...........check your cd player............

The thing that's even funnier is our son did the same thing before, only at 2 years old, in hubby's Jeep, lol.

[Melissa]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

[Melissa]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

say "Thank you, Jesus", and pop in the '81 live from Houston video.

and now that they are grown, I say "Thank you Jesus" and pop in the Baltimore boot.

[artist4perry]

My son did put pennies in the car Cassette player.........they have a need to shove things in orphases (sp?) too.

[artist4perry]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

They eat stick glue now, I am foreverly telling them that it is not good for their tummies! If it is not food, don't eat it! I run out of stick glue a lot in elementary schools!

[nikki]

Kids ignoring you?? Stop giving them cookies!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8aprCNnecU

[Melissa]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

They eat stick glue now, I am foreverly telling them that it is not good for their tummies! If it is not food, don't eat it! I run out of stick glue a lot in elementary schools!

Oh, that damn stick glue! I volunteer at my son's school and when he was in Kindergarten some of the little girls were using the stick glue as "lip gloss"! I can see them eating too, lol. I ate Chapstick when I was little

[Deb]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

LOL! I never ate it, but I remember a bunch of us making second skin. Used to spread some out on your hand or some other body part and when it dried it was like peeling skin off.........LMAO, ya we were so cool.

[bluejeangirl76]

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

LOL! I never ate it, but I remember a bunch of us making second skin. Used to spread some out on your hand or some other body part and when it dried it was like peeling skin off.........LMAO, ya we were so cool.

Paste! Yum! Its what's for dinner!

Yeah, I was a paste eater when I was 5. I'm sorry but that shit was tasty!

[artist4perry]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

LOL! I never ate it, but I remember a bunch of us making second skin. Used to spread some out on your hand or some other body part and when it dried it was like peeling skin off.........LMAO, ya we were so cool.

You were the little girls the teacher had to watch close.......... she was wondering why she was going through the paste in gallons...............and why a giant anaconda was pealing its skin on the floor!

[mikemarrs]

i've got a daughter just turned four in november already going to school.she dresses herself,eats breakfast and usually sits around watching cartoons until its time to leave every morning and she loves school.she wants to do everything it don't matter if its going to get her clothes out of the closet or opening the door she wants to do everything herself and already acts very independent.she'll scream bloody murder if i even try to put her stuff in her backpack because she has a certain way she does it.i'm really dreading when she hits twelve or thirteen because epic battles will be coming for control.

[Melissa]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

LOL! I never ate it, but I remember a bunch of us making second skin. Used to spread some out on your hand or some other body part and when it dried it was like peeling skin off.........LMAO, ya we were so cool.

We made skin too!

[artist4perry]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Tasar.

Lock 'em in the root cellar for a week with nothing to eat but a jar of paste. That'll straighten them out.

As an elementary art teacher, I can tell you these kids can live on paste for quite a while!

I actually remember eating that crap in elementary school...might explain a few things now, lol.

LOL! I never ate it, but I remember a bunch of us making second skin. Used to spread some out on your hand or some other body part and when it dried it was like peeling skin off.........LMAO, ya we were so cool.

We made skin too!

I love art class! LOL!

[Enigma869]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

I enjoy the peace and quiet for a change

[FormerJrnyFan]

what do you do when your kids ignore you?

Enjoy the moment!!!

[squirt1]

Mine are now 40,36,29,& 25. The oldest were just great ! They were girls. The boys were boys. I mean they were just really busy. I had no REAL problems with any. The youngest is an IT at a 7,000 + school district. I had to watch him to keep him from getting hurt. I said at our house if you flushed the toilet, the garage door would go up. He was always tinkering with tools. The other son had serious problems over a death in the immediate family which lingers. He is a member of society in good standing. I feel sorry for those raising children in these times. Anymore ,anything your child does under 18-YOU PAY FOR and your assets are flying in the wind. Violent TV shows and violent lyrics should be a crime against children. Some that see or hear take it literally due to their mental conditions or age and think it is normal behavior..

[Esc]

How old are your kids>?? That plays a factor, also it depends on the child. Unfortunately they don't come one size fits all, they are quite the individual.

my kids are 14 and 7.
my youngest is a girl and shes adorable.
i dont know if you may have noticed, but the girls seem more attached to their dads than moms.
my concern is for my boy.

Ask your child in a private moment at home, what is bothering them and why they seem to ignore you. Tell them you are concerned about them.

im actually going through a divorce (annulment in our case) for reasons i cannot disclose here.
he and his little sister is currently living with my wife.
im getting worried that my wife is feeding him a lot of bull behind my back.
and for that reason i think why my son is ignoring me.

its actually complicated and i dont want to bore you guys with my personal problems.
thanks for the serious and not so serious advice.
really appreciate it.

hey wix, i hope i can afford your fee.
im sure your advice will be worth every penny.

[jrnyjunky]

The divorce puts a different spin on the situation.. I was divorced when my 2 older kids were 5 and 2. In some ways I think it was alot easier because they were so young. they don't even remember their dad and I living together. (wish I could forget..lol) anyway, its gonna be alot harder on your 14 yr old. And especially if your soon to be ex is telling them stuff that they don't really need to hear. I tried not to bash my kids dad in front of them and they didn't know until much later (around 16) some of the things their dad did. I kept them out of the middle. People kept telling me that when the kids got older they would see what a shit their dad is. And they did. 14 is a tough age under normal situations. Have you tried sitting him down without his little sister around and talking about the divorce? Maybe he thinks it his fault. Most kids do, even tho its not. Maybe try some counseling? Thats all I got. I hope everything works out.

Oh yeah, tell WIX that my sessions are free! lol

[stevew2]

My son did put pennies in the car Cassette player.........they have a need to shove things in orphases (sp?) too.

you scared me for a minute i first that your son put his penis in the car cassette player

[squirt1]

Esc- Keep talking to them about how you feel. My daughter is going through this now. He has tried to get his daughter age 11 to think of her mother as not to be around . She has a medical condition,he has OCD BIGTIME and wants to bail to a knew life. People who try to poison childrens memories are evil but rationalize theor behavior. Keep your kids informed to the level they can understand. You are in my prayers.

[squirt1]

When will I ever reread -NEW not knew and another spelt wrong besides. It must be goodnight time .

[Rick]

When will I ever reread -NEW not knew and another spelt wrong besides. It must be goodnight time .

[artist4perry]

My son did put pennies in the car Cassette player.........they have a need to shove things in orphases (sp?) too.

you scared me for a minute i first that your son put his penis in the car cassette player

Time to get your eyes checked, SteveW2?

[Arianddu]

How old are your kids>?? That plays a factor, also it depends on the child. Unfortunately they don't come one size fits all, they are quite the individual.

my kids are 14 and 7.
my youngest is a girl and shes adorable.
i dont know if you may have noticed, but the girls seem more attached to their dads than moms.
my concern is for my boy.

Ask your child in a private moment at home, what is bothering them and why they seem to ignore you. Tell them you are concerned about them.

im actually going through a divorce (annulment in our case) for reasons i cannot disclose here.
he and his little sister is currently living with my wife.
im getting worried that my wife is feeding him a lot of bull behind my back.
and for that reason i think why my son is ignoring me.

its actually complicated and i dont want to bore you guys with my personal problems.
thanks for the serious and not so serious advice.
really appreciate it.

hey wix, i hope i can afford your fee.
im sure your advice will be worth every penny.

I can't speak as a parent, but I can speak as the adult who went through her parents's divorce as a child, and as the woman who took care of a friend's three children when their parents were going through a violent and nasty divorce.

If your son is 14, then he is old enough to understand some aspects of adult relationships. I'd sit him down, and talk to him about the break-up and why it has happened. Be very careful not to speak badly of your ex; you don't have to take full responsibility for whatever has happened, just make sure you remember with every word that you are talking about his mamma. And explain to him that you and your ex are in a bad place with each other, but you don't want him to feel like he has to take sides, that you expect him to continue to love both his parents just as much as ever, even if you and your ex don't love each other any more.
Tell him you are talking to him man-to-man, that you think he's grown up enough to understand, and that you want to be honest with him about why the break up has happened. And then do talk to him as more of an adult than a kid. He's old enough to understand that hurt, angry people say hurt, angry things.

One other thing I'd suggest (and it was the most important thing I think my mother ever did for me) - tell him it's ok for him to be angry with you, but it's not ok for him to bottle it up and give you the silent treatment. Give him express permission to be hurt, to be angry, to argue with you, yell at you - just not ignore you and not stay quiet when he is upset about something. You might need to explain it's not you giving him carte blanche to throw a tantrum, but that he is allowed to express his hurt, anger, frustration, etc. and he is allowed to disagree with you.

If your ex is feeding him bullshit, and you give him free reign to express his negative feelings, it means that you are likely to find out what she's saying, and address those things. You have to remember though, not to put him the position where he feels like you are attacking his mother, because then no matter what you say, you lose. And a good phrase to remember is "I'm sorry, that makes me really angry; I need to go calm down a bit and then we will talk about what she has said." Good for you, good for him.

I hope it works out ok - I've got my fingers crossed for you. Divorce is always hardest on the kids, and it's good to know you are trying to do what you can.

[artist4perry]

How old are your kids>?? That plays a factor, also it depends on the child. Unfortunately they don't come one size fits all, they are quite the individual.

my kids are 14 and 7.
my youngest is a girl and shes adorable.
i dont know if you may have noticed, but the girls seem more attached to their dads than moms.
my concern is for my boy.

Ask your child in a private moment at home, what is bothering them and why they seem to ignore you. Tell them you are concerned about them.

im actually going through a divorce (annulment in our case) for reasons i cannot disclose here.
he and his little sister is currently living with my wife.
im getting worried that my wife is feeding him a lot of bull behind my back.
and for that reason i think why my son is ignoring me.

its actually complicated and i dont want to bore you guys with my personal problems.
thanks for the serious and not so serious advice.
really appreciate it.

hey wix, i hope i can afford your fee.
im sure your advice will be worth every penny.

I can't speak as a parent, but I can speak as the adult who went through her parents's divorce as a child, and as the woman who took care of a friend's three children when their parents were going through a violent and nasty divorce.

If your son is 14, then he is old enough to understand some aspects of adult relationships. I'd sit him down, and talk to him about the break-up and why it has happened. Be very careful not to speak badly of your ex; you don't have to take full responsibility for whatever has happened, just make sure you remember with every word that you are talking about his mamma. And explain to him that you and your ex are in a bad place with each other, but you don't want him to feel like he has to take sides, that you expect him to continue to love both his parents just as much as ever, even if you and your ex don't love each other any more.
Tell him you are talking to him man-to-man, that you think he's grown up enough to understand, and that you want to be honest with him about why the break up has happened. And then do talk to him as more of an adult than a kid. He's old enough to understand that hurt, angry people say hurt, angry things.

One other thing I'd suggest (and it was the most important thing I think my mother ever did for me) - tell him it's ok for him to be angry with you, but it's not ok for him to bottle it up and give you the silent treatment. Give him express permission to be hurt, to be angry, to argue with you, yell at you - just not ignore you and not stay quiet when he is upset about something. You might need to explain it's not you giving him carte blanche to throw a tantrum, but that he is allowed to express his hurt, anger, frustration, etc. and he is allowed to disagree with you.

If your ex is feeding him bullshit, and you give him free reign to express his negative feelings, it means that you are likely to find out what she's saying, and address those things. You have to remember though, not to put him the position where he feels like you are attacking his mother, because then no matter what you say, you lose. And a good phrase to remember is "I'm sorry, that makes me really angry; I need to go calm down a bit and then we will talk about what she has said." Good for you, good for him.

I hope it works out ok - I've got my fingers crossed for you. Divorce is always hardest on the kids, and it's good to know you are trying to do what you can.

Arianddu, I have been sick for a few days, I read what you wrote, and you are on the money. I too have been through a divorce and deal with the issues that go with it. My ex bad mouths me every chance he gets, but I refrain as much as I can. Trust me, even if the ex snows them now, when they get older they will resent the harsh words about you. It is funny how the truth will set you free in these matters. My daughter, who is now married and on her own, avoids calls from her dad, but calls me regularly. She got tired of his excuses and lies. Sometimes they are not mad at you but at the other parent, but since they are seldom around, you get the brunt of it all. Again, depends on situations and the child. My daughter one day told her father off when he started to lie to her about me. My son still wants dad's love so much he sometimes buys the garbage. But not so much now that he is older. Just be the best parent you can be, be there for them, and love them with all their heart. Find a place or a person you can vent your frustrations about your ex away from their ears. It does wonders to let it out, so you can keep your cool around your children. Best wishes. You are dealing with one of the hardest things a parent can help a child through, divorce can be one of the most painful things a child goes through, but you can make it easier to deal with.