OT: Teen's naked pix led to suicide, mom says

[artist4perry]

I think taking nude pics for a bf/gf is perfectly legit and calling it "stupid" or blaming technology for their publicity isn't the answer.

Exactly, technology enables this stuff, but ultimately and unfortunately, the boils down to people. Hundreds of immature jackholes and mainly one horrible "boyfriend" who deserves having the dogpiss stomped out of him. Bless this poor girl's soul, so wrong, so tragic.

He should be so ashamed of himself, she showed great trust in him, and he was a jerk. If it were my daughter this young man would be talking to me as well. Explain why you broke my daughters trust. Now give me back my dead daughter you sorry excuse for a human being.

I don't blame the technology, just don't trust a lot of young men these days, it is too popular to be the "player", and to not care about anyone else.

He should have to face those parents.

It's not just the boyfriend, though he started it. It's all the kids in that school who passed it around and probably who she had considered friends, boys and girls, and enjoyed the humiliation she endured. There's a collective guilt on this sad ending.

I fully agree, I stated earlier that a mean girl mentality is growing more and more among girls. Sadly cruelty is considered cute, while less love of fellow man is taught.

[Carla777]

Very tragic and sad story, i think is a combination of different factors..i’m guessing here but she probably went trough a depression (exogen one),in reaction to the event with his bf, maybe combined with a personality structure that support her depression. I wonder if their parents could noticed before she die some signs that indicate her state of mind (parents or closer friends most of the times are the first to notice when someone is acting strange). Other thing that didn’t help in this case, was the fact that she was a teenager, that age when approval of their pairs is very relevant; so she probably she felt her life was ruin after all this.
Also she have a very bad luck for found a inmature and selfish guy, who had no justification to do what he did to her…hope this story helps to parents, friends, school and classmates to be more conscious about their acts, that this can have serious consecuences in others people life and theirself too, is good don’t go be paranoid with people but always is better be careful when we share our private information or pictures, even if is someone that should trust like your boyfriend or girlfriend.

[KenTheDude]

Very tragic and sad story, i think is a combination of different factors..i’m guessing here but she probably went trough a depression (exogen one),in reaction to the event with his bf, maybe combined with a personality structure that support her depression. I wonder if their parents could noticed before she die some signs that indicate her state of mind (parents or closer friends most of the times are the first to notice when someone is acting strange). Other thing that didn’t help in this case, was the fact that she was a teenager, that age when approval of their pairs is very relevant; so she probably she felt her life was ruin after all this.
Also she have a very bad luck for found a inmature and selfish guy, who had no justification to do what he did to her…hope this story helps to parents, friends, school and classmates to be more conscious about their acts, that this can have serious consecuences in others people life and theirself too, is good don’t go be paranoid with people but always is better be careful when we share our private information or pictures, even if is someone that should trust like your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Very well said Carla. And I have to say your English is getting better and better every day. It's better than some of us that use English as our first language.

[Carla777]

Very tragic and sad story, i think is a combination of different factors..i’m guessing here but she probably went trough a depression (exogen one),in reaction to the event with his bf, maybe combined with a personality structure that support her depression. I wonder if their parents could noticed before she die some signs that indicate her state of mind (parents or closer friends most of the times are the first to notice when someone is acting strange). Other thing that didn’t help in this case, was the fact that she was a teenager, that age when approval of their pairs is very relevant; so she probably she felt her life was ruin after all this.
Also she have a very bad luck for found a inmature and selfish guy, who had no justification to do what he did to her…hope this story helps to parents, friends, school and classmates to be more conscious about their acts, that this can have serious consecuences in others people life and theirself too, is good don’t go be paranoid with people but always is better be careful when we share our private information or pictures, even if is someone that should trust like your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Very well said Carla. And I have to say your English is getting better and better every day. It's better than some of us that use English as our first language.

Thank you very much Ken, i try my best, altough still is very hard for me write longer post

i still don't use online translator properly, michelle will kill me for say this, lo siento profesora!

[artist4perry]

Very tragic and sad story, i think is a combination of different factors..i’m guessing here but she probably went trough a depression (exogen one),in reaction to the event with his bf, maybe combined with a personality structure that support her depression. I wonder if their parents could noticed before she die some signs that indicate her state of mind (parents or closer friends most of the times are the first to notice when someone is acting strange). Other thing that didn’t help in this case, was the fact that she was a teenager, that age when approval of their pairs is very relevant; so she probably she felt her life was ruin after all this.
Also she have a very bad luck for found a inmature and selfish guy, who had no justification to do what he did to her…hope this story helps to parents, friends, school and classmates to be more conscious about their acts, that this can have serious consecuences in others people life and theirself too, is good don’t go be paranoid with people but always is better be careful when we share our private information or pictures, even if is someone that should trust like your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Very well said Carla. And I have to say your English is getting better and better every day. It's better than some of us that use English as our first language.

Thank you very much Ken, i try my best, altough still is very hard for me write longer post

i still don't use online translator properly, michelle will kill me for say this, lo siento profesora!

Carla nice words, very true. As far as your English goes, if we can figure out SW2's English, yours is a peice of cake! He would even agree with me!

[walkslikealady]

Oh, that poor girl! To be hounded to suicide! I'd bet she had lost all faith in other humans after awhile.

I bet she got to the point where she didn't want to leave her home 'cause she didn't know who had seen the pictures...add to that the verbal abuse she was getting from peers. I wonder if she was walking along and people would stop the car and say "let me see her"?

Maybe there wasn't anything really wrong with her before all this happened. She showed poor judgment with giving out nude photos of herself; however, from what I've been hearing on TV, that practice is becoming common for teenagers. Wonder how many times the boyfriend asked for the nudes?

But there sure was alot wrong with the former boyfriend and all those who looked at the pictures and then hounded her! I hope there's a special form of hell for them!

And what is it with some of you people? Sometimes there's a post and the response has got to be that it's got to be the victim's fault? Or the person is bipolar, schizo, or borderline something or other! Makes me wonder about your mental health or whether you're just mean-spirited.

And, yeah, I've been diagnosed bipolar...lots of mood swings for me nowadays with no paroxetine! Also, something similar to what happened to this girl happened to me! I knew the creep was bugging/listening to me 'cause he'd call me and play back what I'd said in my apartment...Mom even heard some of the playbacks. What I didn't know was that the creep had put in a spycam device somewhere. Well, according to the obits, that creep is dead (rotting)!

Well, I'm no angel so here's something mean-spirited from me! I hope the same happens to this girl's boyfriend...dead and rotting!

[SherriBerry]

I can't even begin to imagine how humiliated and violated this girl must have felt. If she were still 17 her ex-boyfriend could have been charged with distributing child pornography. It's quite evident that the laws need to be changed to protect the rights of the individual - no one should be able to post pictures or videos of others without their permission and private pictures in particular. This isn't just related to teenagers - there are ex-husbands doing this too. One is in prison because he violated a court order and posted his ex-wife's nude pictures on the Internet for a second time. And if you can't trust your own husband... If any woman ever gets asked to pose by her husband or boyfriend, she should insist that he pose first and keep her own copies - if he refuses, no pictures. If there are pictures of him, he will definitely think twice about posting hers. Technology is taking away the ability of the individual to even choose, when perverts can use hidden spycams you aren't even aware of and violate your privacy. Once it's out there the damage is done.

Every kid in that school should be ashamed - those that tormented her and those who stood by and did nothing. And her ex-boyfriend deserves prison time for intentionally inflicting so much trauma and humiliation. If no criminal prosecution is possible, the parents should try suing him in civil court - perhaps then he would pay for the rest of his life in a different manner. He was probably her first real boyfriend, so for her trust to be violated so viciously and then to be tormented every day... Even a trained psychiatrist would not attempt to diagnose someone they knew almost nothing about and not everyone who commits suicide suffers from BPD - these armchair diagnoses are irresponsible and labelling the victim with a mental illness only serves to diminish the actions of her ex-boyfriend and peers.

[sniper16]

if she wouldnt have taken the pictures in the first place
she wouldnt have been in that position.

[walkslikealady]

Technology has gotten to the point that you're not safe anywhere from prying eyes. Technology enabled the ex-boyfriend to send a copy of the picture to hundreds.

When I read about people having computers in their bedrooms, their kid's bedroom, or, as one person said on another site, their bathroom, I shudder! A pervert in a city close to me gave a computer to a kid and used it to spy on the kid...the perv's now in prison.

There were always some pervs that would peep in your windows, etc.; however, now someone can break into your home and spy long distance. In truth, I'm a modest, rather prudish person when it comes to public nudity; however, I was a home nudist...never again!

[walkslikealady]

if she wouldnt have taken the pictures in the first place
she wouldnt have been in that position.

Are you a guy? Do you look at nude photos?

See my above post about blaming the victim.

[Babyblue]

That's pretty terrible, but there had to be some others wheels unfortunately turning in this girl's head. I'd say most level-headed, well-grounded 18-year-old girls don't need the attention they get by sending nude pictures to a high school boyfriend. Serious self esteem issues, perhaps? I dunno. I wonder how many kids that tormented her about the pictures beat their meat to a pulp every night to porno? Hypocrites. That's really too bad... very pretty girl too. Couldn't she have just switched schools or something?

It's a great lesson in this hyperconnected age too... once you put something intimate out there, it certainly ain't yours or stayin private any more!

I disagree about the poterntial "self-esteem" issues. Dating usually involves trust and I think her trust, as well as her privacy, was violated. Her boyfriend's intent is what bothers me here. I think he needs to be held accountable in some capacity. Hopefully, vigilante justice is employed and someone kicks every fucking tooth out of his mouth. And yes, I am serious.

PS I agree, Matt, that her parents should have intervened immediately and sheltered her from the abuse she was undoubtedly receiving daily.

That was so very well put SJ

[S2M]

I told myself I wasn't going to post here, but....

I agree with the trust point by SJ, and how hers was ripped from her by the posting of these pics...BUT -

Her reaction was a bit much. There had to be other issues with her to begin with. You can't totally blame the dude for this. In fact, I think he deserves about 10% of it. She had to have other issues.

Just like the kid who supposedly killed himself after listening to Ozzy's, 'Suicide Solution'....dude had mental issues. Cause I love that song and I haven't done myself in.

If you look at Erikson's Life Stages you find that at her age, she was within stage 5, Indentity vs. Role Confusion. In this stage, adolescents trie to sort through all the different roles: student, child, friend, athlete, worker....etc. Thus finding a niche, and defining their role in life. Basically asking, 'Who Am I?'

Now with this girl, she already made it through the previous stage, Industry vs. Inferiority, but at what cost?

There is another Developmental psychologist, whose name escapes me at the moment, that theorizes that if a person has too tough a time making it past a certain stage, then it will be tougher for that peson to make it through the remaining stages unaffected....

Think of it this way: Imagine going into war with 1000 soldiers. And think of each of Erikson's Life Stages as separate battles...After stage one you suffer 6 casualties passing that stage(battle)....and with each subsequent stage you lose roughly the same amount of soldiers. BUT, once you get to stage 4, you come up against a real tough enemy, and end up losing 400 men....Well now you have a limited number of soldiers left for the remaining battles....

This girl probably didn't have enough soldiers to make it through her current Life Stage.

[walkslikealady]

Too bad she couldn't have worked through her troubles and get to the point of "FU". We'll never know what was going on in her home either.

Even though I started studying Social Work at college, counselors don't always know everything about what's going on in a mind. I worked at a mental health center as a transcriptionist. One of the favorite activities of the office manager and one of the counselors was sitting around talking about clients. This counselor had a lot of cancellations...wonder if her clients sensed her lack of caring. Definitely turned me off that branch of the profession.

[jrnychick]

Teenage girls are basically a bunch of cruel jerks. I'm sure many of them relished in the exercise of tearing this girl down. As for her parents knowing what was going on, what girl is going to tell her parents that she sent nude photos to her boyfriend? What a tragedy. I admire her parents for coming out with their daughter's story. Hopefully their actions will help other girls to think twice about what they do.

[stevew2]

Her boyfriend's intent is what bothers me here. I think he needs to be held accountable in some capacity. Hopefully, vigilante justice is employed and someone kicks every fucking tooth out of his mouth. And yes, I am serious.

I agree with you 100%. Some drunken rednecks need to drag this son of a bitch into a cornfield and castrate the bastard.

i would have taken care of that when he text out the first pic

[NealIsGod]

There were always some pervs that would peep in your windows, etc.; however, now someone can break into your home and spy long distance. In truth, I'm a modest, rather prudish person when it comes to public nudity; however, I was a home nudist...never again!

That reminds me, can you move your webcam a little to the left.

[walkslikealady]

There were always some pervs that would peep in your windows, etc.; however, now someone can break into your home and spy long distance. In truth, I'm a modest, rather prudish person when it comes to public nudity; however, I was a home nudist...never again!

That reminds me, can you move your webcam a little to the left.

Don't have a webcam!

But my monitor used to be pointed at my bathroom sink. Why anyone would want to spy on an overweight, middle-aged female is still beyond my comprehension!