OT: Very sad week/ Please don't take life for granted

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:54 am

This thread is in honor of a teacher friend of mine who died as a result of a car accident over a week ago.

I did not find out she was even in an accident till a week later when she died of internal injuries. :cry:

Her daughter in law had multiple fractures and lacerations, and her grandbaby received a broken leg and cuts. Her daughter in laws mother also was in the car and was in critical condition.

The young man who hit them head on had fallen asleep at the wheel. Now some of the facts are sketchy and I am not sure if all are right, but it was a great loss.

Her son was flown home from over seas where he was serving in the military. He lost his mom, and now his wife, child and mother in law are having to recoop.

I just came from the funeral today, and I was struck at how fragile life is.

They were going to Jonesboro to get the baby pictures with "the Easter bunny".

I am now subbing in her class till school lets out for summer. They wanted someone the children can trust and know well. I have dried more childrens tears in the last week than I ever want to see, and teachers.

I know things like that happen all the time, but I just wanted to say that I love all my MR friends here, and I want you to be careful out there, and never take those you love for granted. Hug someone dear to you for me tonight. :cry:

by **Rick** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:21 am

I am sorry about the loss of your friend. My sincerest condolences to you and her family.

I hope the others injured in the accident realize a full and speedy recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with all of them.

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:29 am

Rick wrote:I am sorry about the loss of your friend. My sincerest condolences to you and her family.

I hope the others injured in the accident realize a full and speedy recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with all of them.

Thank you Rick, I guess it is just one of those things you never think of.

I had lunch with her every day almost.

I also just learned that in an unrelated situation one of the students in her class lost his mother the same week. I have my work cut out for me..........I wish I could take these childrens heartache away............ :cry:

by **Michigan Girl** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:40 am

So sorry to hear this, Gin.....prayers to all!!! :wink:

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:45 am

Michigan Girl wrote:So sorry to hear this, Gin.....prayers to all!!!

Hugs to you MG. You and Rick are class acts here.

by **jrnyjunky** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:57 am

My thoughts are with you, the family and the children.

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:58 am

jrnyjunky wrote:My thoughts are with you, the family and the children.

Thank you. She was a great teacher, and I have mighty shoes to fill.

by **G.I.Jim** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:09 pm

Very sad to read this. I Hate you're going through this right now...Also feel terrible for the family. Especially right in the middle of a deployment.

I pray that the others involved will have a speedy recovery, and the best of luck to you with the students...they're in great hands. :wink:

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:11 pm

G.I.Jim wrote:Very sad to read this. I Hate you're going through this right now...Also feel terrible for the family. Especially right in the middle of a deployment. I pray that the others involved will have a speedy recovery, and the best of luck to you with the students...they're in great hands.

Hugs, Jimbo! Keep the laughs coming, I need them!

by **Deb** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:19 pm

So sorry to hear this Ginger.

God bless ya for being there for the students. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family. Big hugz.

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:23 pm

Deb wrote:So sorry to hear this Ginger. God bless ya for being there for the students. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family. Big hugz.

Hugs to you and yours Deb, your a classy lady!

I pray for the family and the students too. We have a wonderful supporting staff at this school. They make me feel like I am one of them. The middle school is providing food for the teachers for breakfast tomorrow. How sweet these folks are here............ We all hugged today and cried on each others shoulders. :cry:

by **Playitloudforme** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:26 pm

I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you and the kids are experiencing. Yup... hugs to all.

by **Deb** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:26 pm

artist4perry wrote:
Deb wrote:So sorry to hear this Ginger. God bless ya for being there for the students. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family. Big hugz.

Hugs to you and yours Deb, your a classy lady!

Right back at ya chicklet! We're here if ya need us......

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:29 pm

Deb wrote:
artist4perry wrote:
Deb wrote:So sorry to hear this Ginger. God bless ya for being there for the students. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family. Big hugz.

Hugs to you and yours Deb, your a classy lady!

Right back at ya chicklet! We're here if ya need us......

Thanks for the concerned hearts out there. We have great folks here on MR. Lifting you up when you feel mighty low.

by **Carla777** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:35 pm

very sad Ginger, i'm sorry for your lost and for your friend family too..last year a friend of mine had a car accident, she almost get kill and untill today she have some serious secuels from that episode, so i guess we must appreciated what we got today because we never know when all that can change...

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:36 pm

Carla777 wrote:very sad Ginger, i'm sorry for your lost and for your friend family too..last year a friend of mine had a car accident, she almost get kill and untill today she have some serious secuels from that episode, so i guess we must appreciated what we got today because we never know when all that can change...

Big hug to you and your friend Carla, your a good soal to know.

I know this can be traumatic to those who loose family or have recurring nightmares due to severe accidents.

This teacher lived life to the fullest, traveled a lot, and ate out at great restaurants, she loved life, and that grand baby. She could make me laugh so hard!

by **Arianddu** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 5:24 pm

Tell Dan to hug you for me, hon. I know how hard it is when a friend gets taken so unexpectedly and in such circumstances. I'm glad her students have you to help them, and I hope that in turn can help you.

by **SherriBerry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:16 pm

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Ginger. My aunt (my mom's only sister) was killed three years ago in a car accident on Easter Monday and we still can't believe it. There is something about Easter. Your friend's students are lucky to have such a wonderful lady like you to look after them.

by **Jana** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:02 pm

So sorry to hear that. What tragic news, Ginger. Very, very sad. Life can change in the blink of an eye for a family. She left this earth loved by a lot of people.

by **artist4perry** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:42 pm

Thank you all........just came home last night emotionally and physically drained. I know I am not unique to have this to happen to me, but I know I share the heartache of many in this world, many of you even. Nice we can come together and discuss sad things as well as happy.

by **DSHinMICH** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:09 pm

So sorry to hear of this Ginger! All involved are in my thoughts
and prayers!

by **Vladan** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:20 pm

I am very sorry to hear this, very tragic. Take care Ginger, all the best hey.

by **Moon Beam** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:44 pm

I'm sure that you will be able to comfort the children in this sad situation Ginger.
So sorry to read of your loss lady.

by **Rhiannon** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:33 pm

God bless you, the families, and the children Ginger. So sorry to hear this.

by **annpea** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:51 am

Gin, you are a wonderful person; sometimes such bad things happen to good people and at those times we have to just " Let go and Let God."

by **artist4perry** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:09 am

Just a quick thanks to all. The kids are adjusting amazingly fast, God gives them so much strength that we never give them credit for. One young man gave me a hard time today, so things are going back to normal. :wink:

To all who were so kind please look at these:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wftbahypdAA

Put this one on full screen so you can enjoy the pictures.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FmcKBdEJ_U

by **Melissa** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:35 am

Very sad to hear, and you're brave for taking on so much with so many who just experienced such a loss. All I can say from experience is, they will need people like you for a long time to come. There comes a point when the support seems to disappear, a sort of non-spoken time frame where everyone who was there for support kind of fades back away, I guess when they think the "mourning" time should kind of be over? I don't know, but that's what my family experienced after a huge loss that was traumatic for us to see. And that's where loneliness creeps in, and even though we were still there for each other, it was hard to be comforting to one another while struggling ourselves at the same time. And trying in non-spoken ways to reach out for support from others not struggling like us...well, that's hard. I think I'm rambling now, but all I can say is, the pain of losing someone like that never goes away. It may dull a little for some time, and they will return to happiness at some point, but then there are other times where that pain comes back unexpected and full force, no matter how "well" the loss was "dealt" with. (I love how some people just put a time frame on that, and say things like "Gee that happened a couple years ago, you're not over it yet? Didn't you deal with it properly?"....note: don't ever say those things to someone who lost someone like this :wink:

). And when those times come up and you see that person or these people struggling, just be there for them...listen to them, let them vent, let them cry, hug them, love them...you don't even have to say anything...just be there. Like you are now.

Ok enough of that sap-fest huh? LOL :wink:

I hope for peace for her family and friends.

by **Deb** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:28 am

Melissa wrote:Very sad to hear, and you're brave for taking on so much with so many who just experienced such a loss. All I can say from experience is, they will need people like you for a long time to come. There comes a point when the support seems to disappear, a sort of non-spoken time frame where everyone who was there for support kind of fades back away, I guess when they think the "mourning" time should kind of be over? I don't know, but that's what my family experienced after a huge loss that was traumatic for us to see. And that's where loneliness creeps in, and even though we were still there for each other, it was hard to be comforting to one another while struggling ourselves at the same time. And trying in non-spoken ways to reach out for support from others not struggling like us...well, that's hard. I think I'm rambling now, but all I can say is, the pain of losing someone like that never goes away. It may dull a little for some time, and they will return to happiness at some point, but then there are other times where that pain comes back unexpected and full force, no matter how "well" the loss was "dealt" with. (I love how some people just put a time frame on that, and say things like "Gee that happened a couple years ago, you're not over it yet? Didn't you deal with it properly?"....note: don't ever say those things to someone who lost someone like this ). And when those times come up and you see that person or these people struggling, just be there for them...listen to them, let them vent, let them cry, hug them, love them...you don't even have to say anything...just be there. Like you are now.

Ok enough of that sap-fest huh? LOL

I hope for peace for her family and friends.

No truer words Melly! When my ex mom-in-law lost her youngest son to a tragic highway accident.....I remember her saying something similiar. We were out having coffee and talking about it and we got talking about that in particular. She said, "it was like once everybody starts going back to their own lives, an emptiness sets in and it's like.....Wait! I'm not done grieving here." It's gotta be over 10 years now, but she still knows I'm here for her if she needs me. He was one of those loves life people, he was the fun uncle......our daughter still gets weepy when a couple country songs come on the radio that reminds her of her uncle. It was awful, he hit a semi, vehicle burnt and he had to be identified through dental records.

One of the most heartrenching things I've ever heard is when my ex and his other brother had to tell my m-i-l. Watching her collapse and let out such a painful wail, will stay with me forever. :cry:

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble either. But you're right, that is when you should be there....after the fact.

by **StevePerryHair** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 3:45 am

Melissa wrote:Very sad to hear, and you're brave for taking on so much with so many who just experienced such a loss. All I can say from experience is, they will need people like you for a long time to come. There comes a point when the support seems to disappear, a sort of non-spoken time frame where everyone who was there for support kind of fades back away, I guess when they think the "mourning" time should kind of be over? I don't know, but that's what my family experienced after a huge loss that was traumatic for us to see. And that's where loneliness creeps in, and even though we were still there for each other, it was hard to be comforting to one another while struggling ourselves at the same time. And trying in non-spoken ways to reach out for support from others not struggling like us...well, that's hard. I think I'm rambling now, but all I can say is, the pain of losing someone like that never goes away. It may dull a little for some time, and they will return to happiness at some point, but then there are other times where that pain comes back unexpected and full force, no matter how "well" the loss was "dealt" with. (I love how some people just put a time frame on that, and say things like "Gee that happened a couple years ago, you're not over it yet? Didn't you deal with it properly?"....note: don't ever say those things to someone who lost someone like this ). And when those times come up and you see that person or these people struggling, just be there for them...listen to them, let them vent, let them cry, hug them, love them...you don't even have to say anything...just be there. Like you are now.

Ok enough of that sap-fest huh? LOL

I hope for peace for her family and friends.

Well you know I'm still here for ya! I think that is the bond that started all of our crazy travels if you think about it :wink:

by **DrFU** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:25 am

Ginger, I'm truly sorry that you have lost your friend and that the children have lost their teacher; this must be a very sad and tough time for you all.

As Mel & Deb have pointed, there seems to be a ridiculously short shelf life on outward expressions of grief and support in US culture. We pretty much suck at this, I think; it's like we bumble around for a week or ten days and then expect everyone to be back to normal, and we discourage people big time from talking about lost loved ones beyond the first few days after the loss.

Seems like you have an opportunity to work with the kids in your classroom on how to do better. There are some good books out there on children and grief. A couple of reading lists from children's grief centers below:

http://www.erinshouse.org/default.aspx?pg=resources

http://www.thealcove.org/recommended_reading_list.html

http://www.omega-healthcare.com/web/Res ... fault.aspx

MR

OT: Very sad week/ Please don't take life for granted

OT: Very sad week/ Please don't take life for granted

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