StevePerryHair wrote:Melissa wrote:Very sad to hear, and you're brave for taking on so much with so many who just experienced such a loss. All I can say from experience is, they will need people like you for a long time to come. There comes a point when the support seems to disappear, a sort of non-spoken time frame where everyone who was there for support kind of fades back away, I guess when they think the "mourning" time should kind of be over? I don't know, but that's what my family experienced after a huge loss that was traumatic for us to see. And that's where loneliness creeps in, and even though we were still there for each other, it was hard to be comforting to one another while struggling ourselves at the same time. And trying in non-spoken ways to reach out for support from others not struggling like us...well, that's hard. I think I'm rambling now, but all I can say is, the pain of losing someone like that never goes away. It may dull a little for some time, and they will return to happiness at some point, but then there are other times where that pain comes back unexpected and full force, no matter how "well" the loss was "dealt" with. (I love how some people just put a time frame on that, and say things like "Gee that happened a couple years ago, you're not over it yet? Didn't you deal with it properly?"....note: don't ever say those things to someone who lost someone like this). And when those times come up and you see that person or these people struggling, just be there for them...listen to them, let them vent, let them cry, hug them, love them...you don't even have to say anything...just be there. Like you are now.
Ok enough of that sap-fest huh? LOL
I hope for peace for her family and friends.
Well you know I'm still here for ya! I think that is the bond that started all of our crazy travels if you think about it
Oh goodness I know...you geek
Seriously though, that's exactly what I mean, just being there for people whose grief can (and will) resurface at points, no matter how much time goes by. Deb your ex m-i-l is so right. And Linda that is SO true, it amazes me how many people think you're supposed to just "deal" with losing someone, "get over it", and be on your merry way with life like nothing ever happened. And that's just not the way it works. I had to do a lot of searching to learn it's OKAY that this death will effect me for life. It's OKAY if that hurts me still sometimes. It's just human. And others need to learn the same, to not minimize or put a time frame on someone else's hurt, and how their life has changed, and will be changed, forever. Sorry for the ramblings, this is just something I feel strongly about and have learned a lot about.
Those are awesome Linda, children can grieve so much differently than adults. I remember someone telling me "A child old enough to know love, is old enough to feel grief."
