Neal Schon Losing His Battle With Guitar Face

[Chubby321]

Thanks to Seven of AP's site. Seven is awesome.


http://parodyfiles.com/
Neal Schon Losing His Battle With Guitar Face
LOS ANGELES, CA (AP Newsliar) —

Sources reported today that long-time Journey guitarist Neal Schon is losing his 40-year battle with Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”
Guitar Face is a debilitating condition that strikes thousands of musicians a year. Research funded by the American Guitar Face Society suggests it is a neurological disorder, resulting in involuntary facial contortions which are correlated in severity to the difficulty or emotional poignancy of guitar riffs being played. Schon was diagnosed not long after joining the band Santana as a teenage guitar prodigy at the age of 15.
But after years of repeated treatments and remissions, the 55-year old guitar virtuoso’s battle is nearing an end, and his doctors have given him only a few weeks to live.
Schon has felt his condition deteriorate considerably over the past months. On occasion he could not listen to soft rock on the radio without breaking into a musical grimace, and more recently, even elevator music would cause uncontrollable facial twitches.
A spokesman for the ailing musician has stated that Schon is resting comfortably surrounded by his family members, and they have asked the press to respect their privacy during the difficult days ahead.


Neal’s guitar face :

http://www.mendelsonarchives.com/Photos/NealSchon.jpg
http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/35/4/ ... 1x380.jpeg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2444/387 ... 6b6dea.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_5rbAC03PPQI/S ... _heart.jpg
http://www.made-in-china.com/image/2f0j ... B4031-.jpg

Some links above don't work but you can view them @ AP's site.
http://arnelpinedarocks.com/forum/index ... =20&t=1168


*****


Here's a primer for creating your own "Guitar Face"
Pay close attention from 0:38 - 1:10 to see what a difference it makes!
Thanks to Anna of AP's site for this post.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oER_v6-y ... r_embedded

[Michigan Girl]

Chubbs, I am LMAO!!! :wink:

[bluejeangirl76]

"Research funded by the American Guitar Face Society..."

LMAO!! That's awesome.

[wednesday's child]

Thread of the week!

[Jana]

bad, bad, bad.

[FishinMagician]

yes most people make faces when they play music..

[lights1961]

or maybe he is finally bored of doing the same riffs over and over and over... night after night... JUST KDDING... NEAL so rocks... still one of the best guitarists out there

[brywool]

Hilarious and yet, so true!

Dana Carvey:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_PNgIK6Uc0

[Since 78]

Guitar Face??

[Red13JoePa]

Guitar Face??

LMAO he's got a TON of them workin on the HUGE MEGA -selling Manila dvd and I love them

[*Laura]

Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”

But Dr. Beau Tux was hired to cure it, no?

[portland]

Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”

But Dr. Beau Tux was hired to cure it, no?

Yes Laura....I was thinking the same thing...the fact he can move his face at all in amazing

[Saint John]

LMAO he's got a TON of them workin on the HUGE MEGA -selling Manila dvd and I love them

[Jana]

Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”

But Dr. Beau Tux was hired to cure it, no?

Yes Laura....I was thinking the same thing...the fact he can move his face at all in amazing

He was moving it just fine in the Manila DVD. His great smile lines were back.

It's amazing Perry can smile these days with those chipmunk cheeks. J/K

[Rick]

Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”

But Dr. Beau Tux was hired to cure it, no?

Yes Laura....I was thinking the same thing...the fact he can move his face at all in amazing

He was moving it just fine in the Manila DVD. His great smile lines were back.

I have never seen Neal do so much with the audience as he did on that DVD. Very cool.

[Michigan Girl]

Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”

But Dr. Beau Tux was hired to cure it, no?

Yes Laura....I was thinking the same thing...the fact he can move his face at all in amazing

He was moving it just fine in the Manila DVD. His great smile lines were back.

It's amazing Perry can smile these days with those chipmunk cheeks. J/K

I have those...and it's not hard to do!!!

[Jana]

Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”

But Dr. Beau Tux was hired to cure it, no?

Yes Laura....I was thinking the same thing...the fact he can move his face at all in amazing

He was moving it just fine in the Manila DVD. His great smile lines were back.

I have never seen Neal do so much with the audience as he did on that DVD. Very cool.

So right.

[*Laura]

He was moving it just fine in the Manila DVD.

Now I know why it peaked at #1.

[Jana]

He was moving it just fine in the Manila DVD.

Now I know why it peaked at #1.

[JasonD]

Nice link, Chubby. I especially like the part I read at the bottom of the page when I scrolled down. Here, let me copy & paste what it said:
:
:
:
:


This one’s a parody of “Foolish Heart” by Steve Perry.

Stoolish Fart

I need to let one blow
I don’t want to unleash a flow
With each passing blast
Some brown gets past
What a scare
Stained underwear

I need to squeeze one off
I’ll disguise it like I had to cough
But will I only fart
At the start
Then pass stool again
Much to my chagrin

Stoolish fart
Hear me tootin’
Smell the air
I’m pollutin’
Stoolish fart
Now poop’s shootin’
Out of my back door
Won’t try that anymore

Feelin’ a greasy rear end
I’ve gambled and lost once again
One’s buildin’ up to roar
Out of my back door
Think I’ll let her rip
Hope poop doesn’t slip

Stoolish fart
Smell’s apallin’
Stop before
Poop comes crawlin’
Stoolish fart
Logs are fallin’
Out my thong they pour
To fall splat on the floor
Stoolish fart

Stoolish, stoolish fart
Wish dark clothes I’d wore

(Lamest. Keyboard. Solo. Ever.)

Stoolish fart
Hear me barkin’
Stop this turd
From departin’
Stoolish fart
Can’t stop shartin’
Hear my sphincter snore
And splatter brown gore
Stoolish fart

Oh, stoolish, stoolish fart
Won’t try that no more

[Saint John]

Frighteningly genius stuff, JasonD!

[Chubby321]

Nice link, Chubby. I especially like the part I read at the bottom of the page when I scrolled down. Here, let me copy & paste what it said:
:
:
:
:


This one’s a parody of “Foolish Heart” by Steve Perry.

Stoolish Fart

I need to let one blow
I don’t want to unleash a flow
With each passing blast
Some brown gets past
What a scare
Stained underwear

I need to squeeze one off
I’ll disguise it like I had to cough
But will I only fart
At the start
Then pass stool again
Much to my chagrin

Stoolish fart
Hear me tootin’
Smell the air
I’m pollutin’
Stoolish fart
Now poop’s shootin’
Out of my back door
Won’t try that anymore

Feelin’ a greasy rear end
I’ve gambled and lost once again
One’s buildin’ up to roar
Out of my back door
Think I’ll let her rip
Hope poop doesn’t slip

Stoolish fart
Smell’s apallin’
Stop before
Poop comes crawlin’
Stoolish fart
Logs are fallin’
Out my thong they pour
To fall splat on the floor
Stoolish fart

Stoolish, stoolish fart
Wish dark clothes I’d wore

(Lamest. Keyboard. Solo. Ever.)

Stoolish fart
Hear me barkin’
Stop this turd
From departin’
Stoolish fart
Can’t stop shartin’
Hear my sphincter snore
And splatter brown gore
Stoolish fart

Oh, stoolish, stoolish fart
Won’t try that no more

[JasonD]

Frighteningly genius stuff, JasonD!

I can't take credit. It isn't mine. If you click on the link Chubby posted, it's attached to the bottom of that. I would have given credit to it's author but none was named.

[(Crazy)Dulce Lady]

Cithara-Fatsia Syndrome, better known as “guitar face.”

But Dr. Beau Tux was hired to cure it, no?

Yes Laura....I was thinking the same thing...the fact he can move his face at all in amazing

He was moving it just fine in the Manila DVD. His great smile lines were back.

I have never seen Neal do so much with the audience as he did on that DVD. Very cool.

he does fine with the audience when he knows his girls---uhhhh I mean WOMEN--- are there........just sayin'.

I thought he was rather sedate actually. When I saw him in Austin recently he was all over the place. We were in the RosS ZoNe and he came over on every song he didn't have pedals to deal with.

[Author2]

Frighteningly genius stuff, JasonD!

I think I'll go with pathetic, okay?

[*Laura]

Frighteningly genius stuff, JasonD!

I think I'll go with pathetic, okay?

Yeah, me too. Some parodies are great but this is not one of them.

[Peartree12249]

What color ribbon are we supposed to wear to show our support for the victims and survivors of Guitar Face?

[Rick]

What color ribbon are we supposed to wear to show our support for the victims and survivors of Guitar Face?

Here you go. It's the only one I could find.

[stevew2]

Would you like neal to sit on your face?

[Peartree12249]

What color ribbon are we supposed to wear to show our support for the victims and survivors of Guitar Face?

Here you go. It's the only one I could find.

Perfect!