Taking someone to find out they have HIV...

[G.I.Jim]

I recieved one of the worst phone calls I've ever recieved yesterday, and it's really been bothering me since... I enlisted a 22 year old male into the Army National Guard last Friday, and he called me late yesterday asking me about he recieved from MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station). The letter is a confidential letter that says "You have recently completed your Meps entrance physical and it has been discovered that you have a serious medical condition. Please contact your recruiter and they will arrange a meeting with our Chief Medical Officer".

I've been a recruiter for nearly 9 years now, and in that time... I've never had ANYBODY recieve that letter. It is common knowledge what the letter means to us recruiters though... it means he's positive for HIV. Possibly the worst news you could recieve in a lifetime.

We aren't allowed to discuss it with the recruits, and WE have to take them back to Meps for them to be told. He called me yesterday, and I know he's scared... I could hear it in his voice. What the hell do you SAY to someone on the way home from just being told he has HIV? The real shitty thing is that it's right in the midst of the holidays too. I've thought about taking him back there AFTER Christmas, but at the same time... I want him to start getting treatment ASAP. This is going to be the toughest thing I've ever done in my entire 18 1/2 years of service.

Sorry... I'm not really looking for answers here... just feeling bad for the kid out-loud. I'm going to be doing some serious praying for him over the holidays.

[steveo777]

Bad news man.
Good news is that people are living much longer due to the advanced medications that are available. It's no longer the quick death that it used to be. It still sucks though.

[bluejeangirl76]

I can't even imagine, Jim. I'm so sorry for him and for you as well.

Is there any other possibility of what it could be?

[G.I.Jim]

I can't even imagine, Jim. I'm so sorry for him and for you as well.

Is there any other possibility of what it could be?

Thanks, and no... that is the ONLY time they use the letter. For some reason, it takes a few days for that test to come back.

[Deb]

I recieved one of the worst phone calls I've ever recieved yesterday, and it's really been bothering me since... I enlisted a 22 year old male into the Army National Guard last Friday, and he called me late yesterday asking me about he recieved from MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station). The letter is a confidential letter that says "You have recently completed your Meps entrance physical and it has been discovered that you have a serious medical condition. Please contact your recruiter and they will arrange a meeting with our Chief Medical Officer".

I've been a recruiter for nearly 9 years now, and in that time... I've never had ANYBODY recieve that letter. It is common knowledge what the letter means to us recruiters though... it means he's positive for HIV. Possibly the worst news you could recieve in a lifetime.

We aren't allowed to discuss it with the recruits, and WE have to take them back to Meps for them to be told. He called me yesterday, and I know he's scared... I could hear it in his voice. What the hell do you SAY to someone on the way home from just being told he has HIV? The real shitty thing is that it's right in the midst of the holidays too. I've thought about taking him back there AFTER Christmas, but at the same time... I want him to start getting treatment ASAP. This is going to be the toughest thing I've ever done in my entire 18 1/2 years of service.

Sorry... I'm not really looking for answers here... just feeling bad for the kid out-loud. I'm going to be doing some serious praying for him over the holidays.

....and that's why we love ya 'round here, Jimbo. You're a sweet soul. Sorry to hear that, and there probably isn't much you can say on the way home......besides being a good listener, let him talk it out. Or even just drive along in comfortable silence if his head is elsewhere. Best of luck Jimbo.

[Ehwmatt]

Ugh man. I've thought about this a lot after seeing movies like Philadelphia and reading Chuck Panozzo's book. I really can't imagine too many things that would be worse to get diagnosed for.

There's really not much to say in this situation... except I don't envy your position

The one slight sliver of brightness is, as steveo said up there ^^^ is that the drug treatments and all that are far beyond what they used to be (Exhibit A: Magic Johnson, who looks better than I do when I have a cold).

Good luck to the kid... and good luck to you. I can't imagine too many tougher situations, especially with a young person.

Are HIV+ people allowed to continue serving in the military? I'm sure that's the last thing on the guy's mind, but I'm curious.

[Don]

I remember when it took five years to find out if you infected. We were going back to Chang Mai, and while there we receive a health bulletin that 60% of the hostesses in the City had tested positive for HIV. Now, seeing as we had been going back and forth to that place over the last three years, if it takes five years to detect the disease, there is a good chance that one of us got infected also, as the girls wouldn't have known yet what they had.
So all of us start activating from that moment a five year clock in our head, sweating out the yearly physicals wondering if we're going to come up positive on one of those tests. Luckily, no one I knew ever caught it but I had it in the back of my mind for a good ten years after the fact, when ever I had my annual physical.

[Don]

Ugh man. I've thought about this a lot after seeing movies like Philadelphia and reading Chuck Panozzo's book. I really can't imagine too many things that would be worse to get diagnosed for.

There's really not much to say in this situation... except I don't envy your position

The one slight sliver of brightness is, as steveo said up there ^^^ is that the drug treatments and all that are far beyond what they used to be (Exhibit A: Magic Johnson, who looks better than I do when I have a cold).

Good luck to the kid... and good luck to you. I can't imagine too many tougher situations, especially with a young person.

Are HIV+ people allowed to continue serving in the military? I'm sure that's the last thing on the guy's mind, but I'm curious.

I don't think so. A lot of countries would ban entry for individuals that are infected so you couldn't have that soldier on worldwide deployment, really making him a liability for the service, depending on his job.

[Ehwmatt]

I remember when it took five years to find out if you infected. We were going back to Chang Mai, and while there we receive a health bulletin that 60% of the hostesses in the City had tested positive for HIV. Now, seeing as we had been going back and forth to that place over the last three years, if it takes five years to detect the disease, there is a good chance that one of us got infected also, as the girls wouldn't have known yet what they had.
So all of us start activating from that moment a five year clock in our head, sweating out the yearly physicals wondering if we're going to come up positive on one of those tests. Luckily, no one I knew ever caught it but I had it in the back of my mind for a good ten years after the fact, when ever I had my annual physical.

Damn that had to suck!

It really makes me think twice about one night stands... a big part of the reason I'm not game for them.

[Angel]

I'm so sorry Jim....that's a very difficult thing. I have never had to tell anyone that they are HIV positive, but a few times I have had to tell a mom that her unborn baby has died and many other times I've been there with her when the doctor has told her. It's always tough to have to be involved in giving someone bad news.

Best of luck to you and to the recruit.

[G.I.Jim]

Ugh man. I've thought about this a lot after seeing movies like Philadelphia and reading Chuck Panozzo's book. I really can't imagine too many things that would be worse to get diagnosed for.

There's really not much to say in this situation... except I don't envy your position

The one slight sliver of brightness is, as steveo said up there ^^^ is that the drug treatments and all that are far beyond what they used to be (Exhibit A: Magic Johnson, who looks better than I do when I have a cold).

Good luck to the kid... and good luck to you. I can't imagine too many tougher situations, especially with a young person.

Are HIV+ people allowed to continue serving in the military? I'm sure that's the last thing on the guy's mind, but I'm curious.

Thanks for the input, and I agree with you and Steve... drugs have come a long way in helping. Now to answer your question... no. You can't serve in the military with HIV or Aids. I knew of a guy when I was in the regular Army who found out he had HIV, and he was discharged. He contracted it by messing around with prostitues in Korea.

[bluejeangirl76]

Are HIV+ people allowed to continue serving in the military? I'm sure that's the last thing on the guy's mind, but I'm curious.

I was going to ask the same.

I kind of assume not due to the being in training (therefore, close contact) with others in situations where physical injury can occur, and things like that

[G.I.Jim]

I recieved one of the worst phone calls I've ever recieved yesterday, and it's really been bothering me since... I enlisted a 22 year old male into the Army National Guard last Friday, and he called me late yesterday asking me about he recieved from MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station). The letter is a confidential letter that says "You have recently completed your Meps entrance physical and it has been discovered that you have a serious medical condition. Please contact your recruiter and they will arrange a meeting with our Chief Medical Officer".

I've been a recruiter for nearly 9 years now, and in that time... I've never had ANYBODY recieve that letter. It is common knowledge what the letter means to us recruiters though... it means he's positive for HIV. Possibly the worst news you could recieve in a lifetime.

We aren't allowed to discuss it with the recruits, and WE have to take them back to Meps for them to be told. He called me yesterday, and I know he's scared... I could hear it in his voice. What the hell do you SAY to someone on the way home from just being told he has HIV? The real shitty thing is that it's right in the midst of the holidays too. I've thought about taking him back there AFTER Christmas, but at the same time... I want him to start getting treatment ASAP. This is going to be the toughest thing I've ever done in my entire 18 1/2 years of service.

Sorry... I'm not really looking for answers here... just feeling bad for the kid out-loud. I'm going to be doing some serious praying for him over the holidays.

....and that's why we love ya 'round here, Jimbo. You're a sweet soul. Sorry to hear that, and there probably isn't much you can say on the way home......besides being a good listener, let him talk it out. Or even just drive along in comfortable silence if his head is elsewhere. Best of luck Jimbo.

Thank you very much Deb.

[artist4perry]

I recieved one of the worst phone calls I've ever recieved yesterday, and it's really been bothering me since... I enlisted a 22 year old male into the Army National Guard last Friday, and he called me late yesterday asking me about he recieved from MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station). The letter is a confidential letter that says "You have recently completed your Meps entrance physical and it has been discovered that you have a serious medical condition. Please contact your recruiter and they will arrange a meeting with our Chief Medical Officer".

I've been a recruiter for nearly 9 years now, and in that time... I've never had ANYBODY recieve that letter. It is common knowledge what the letter means to us recruiters though... it means he's positive for HIV. Possibly the worst news you could recieve in a lifetime.

We aren't allowed to discuss it with the recruits, and WE have to take them back to Meps for them to be told. He called me yesterday, and I know he's scared... I could hear it in his voice. What the hell do you SAY to someone on the way home from just being told he has HIV? The real shitty thing is that it's right in the midst of the holidays too. I've thought about taking him back there AFTER Christmas, but at the same time... I want him to start getting treatment ASAP. This is going to be the toughest thing I've ever done in my entire 18 1/2 years of service.

Sorry... I'm not really looking for answers here... just feeling bad for the kid out-loud. I'm going to be doing some serious praying for him over the holidays.

I have no answers, just heart felt prayers for him and you. Maybe just listening can be all you can provide. How sad. Hang in there GI. I guess being a military wife for 10 + years, I understand the feeling of family in the military. These folks become part of each others lives, and hearts.

[Arianddu]

Jim, the only advice I can offer is learn as much about what he's going to have to expect as possible. My kid sister says the best thing for her being diagnosed with bone cancer at 16 was that Dad (a doctor) was able to take the time the specialists couldn't to explain what was going to happen to her in detail, and that he didn't mind her asking the same question two or three times. That was one of the reasons I started volunteering for cancer patient support, because I knew what the families were going to go through and I could give them the information they needed. I know that one of Mamma's biggest frustrations when she was sick was that the hospital staff tended not to be very good at telling her what was going on - most times she had to go back to her doctor to get any information about her case.

If you can tell him exactly what the military is going to do, what places he can go to for help, maybe some details on the medical care available, costs, any places that provide free medical care or charities that can help with the bills - it's all stuff that initially is going to go in one ear and out the other when he gets the initial diagnoses. Being someone who can take the time to go over everything again might be the best - or the only - thing you can do to help.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this Jim, it's never easy, even with someone you don't know well. You can only do your best, then come home and have a stiff drink and hug the ones you love. Good luck with it.

[Saint John]

If Magic Johnson and Greg Louganis are any barometer of how far the medicines for this disease have come, he stands a chance of seeing a cure in his lifetime. Hell, Magic's had it for over 20 years and that fat fucker looks great. I just saw him at a Chicago Bulls game about 3 weeks ago. I wish this dude all the luck in the world. I just hope he's not priced out of the medication(s) he's gonna need.

[Michigan Girl]

I'm not really looking for answers here... just feeling bad for the kid out-loud.
I'm going to be doing some serious praying for him over the holidays.

Me too, so sorry...

[portland]

I'm not really looking for answers here... just feeling bad for the kid out-loud.
I'm going to be doing some serious praying for him over the holidays.

Me too, so sorry...

Agreed some tough stuff to face.....at least the medical advances are on his side...but still it does not make it easy.....Jim you are a really good man....prayers are with you.

[StevePerryHair]

Sorry Jim, that has to be really tough and so sad:( so young! Treatment has come a long way, but still.

Another thing I thought of for a reason for him to know soon would be before he can possibly spread it to other people unknowingly. Just hearing you say how scared he sounded breaks my heart:(

[WalkInMyShoes]

As frightening as news like this is, think "knowledge is power". Not knowing you have a condition is more dangerous than knowing, because once you know, you can start on the road to recovery. Early treatment for most conditions is key in controlling them and possibly curing them. So, if the infection goes untreated for years, more damage can be done, more complications can occur, more people can be put at risk by him. With all of the advancements with anti-viral medications, HIV is now a condition you "live with" not generally one that you "die from". It is really thought to be more of a chronic illness like infections with Hepatitis B or C, inflammatory problems like lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease, metabolic problems like diabetes, or even some cancers. 10 years ago, we used to see HIV/AIDS patients in the hospital all the time and it is relatively uncommon now because these new treatments are so effective.

What do you say to someone who has been told this life-altering information? Sometimes just listening is the best thing you can do.

[Saint John]

As frightening as news like this is, think "knowledge is power". Not knowing you have a condition is more dangerous than knowing, because once you know, you can start on the road to recovery. Early treatment for most conditions is key in controlling them and possibly curing them. So, if the infection goes untreated for years, more damage can be done, more complications can occur, more people can be put at risk by him. With all of the advancements with anti-viral medications, HIV is now a condition you "live with" not generally one that you "die from". It is really thought to be more of a chronic illness like infections with Hepatitis B or C, inflammatory problems like lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease, metabolic problems like diabetes, or even some cancers. 10 years ago, we used to see HIV/AIDS patients in the hospital all the time and it is relatively uncommon now because these new treatments are so effective.

What do you say to someone who has been told this life-altering information? Sometimes just listening is the best thing you can do.

Great post!

[Babyblue]

As frightening as news like this is, think "knowledge is power". Not knowing you have a condition is more dangerous than knowing, because once you know, you can start on the road to recovery. Early treatment for most conditions is key in controlling them and possibly curing them. So, if the infection goes untreated for years, more damage can be done, more complications can occur, more people can be put at risk by him. With all of the advancements with anti-viral medications, HIV is now a condition you "live with" not generally one that you "die from". It is really thought to be more of a chronic illness like infections with Hepatitis B or C, inflammatory problems like lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease, metabolic problems like diabetes, or even some cancers. 10 years ago, we used to see HIV/AIDS patients in the hospital all the time and it is relatively uncommon now because these new treatments are so effective.

What do you say to someone who has been told this life-altering information? Sometimes just listening is the best thing you can do.

What a great post
My heart goes out to the young man & to you.You are both in my prayers.

[Carla777]

As frightening as news like this is, think "knowledge is power". Not knowing you have a condition is more dangerous than knowing, because once you know, you can start on the road to recovery. Early treatment for most conditions is key in controlling them and possibly curing them. So, if the infection goes untreated for years, more damage can be done, more complications can occur, more people can be put at risk by him. With all of the advancements with anti-viral medications, HIV is now a condition you "live with" not generally one that you "die from". It is really thought to be more of a chronic illness like infections with Hepatitis B or C, inflammatory problems like lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease, metabolic problems like diabetes, or even some cancers. 10 years ago, we used to see HIV/AIDS patients in the hospital all the time and it is relatively uncommon now because these new treatments are so effective.

What do you say to someone who has been told this life-altering information? Sometimes just listening is the best thing you can do.

Great post!

Agree, specially if we consider that he is very young, add to that the support of people around him and always being very careful about of the privacy and respect for the identity of the person; maybe all this will help a little to he be more calm down with this sad new. Wish you the best for both =)

[G.I.Jim]

Thanks for the advice and opinions everyone. I just found out today that I am taking him to MEPS on Monday of next week, so if there are any other believers out there... he could really use some prayers right now.

He called me today, and sounded frantic to get to MEPS, but that's the earliest date they would give me. It just sucks SO bad knowing that he's going to go through this right before the holidays, and it breaks my heart to be the one to have to take him there. I hope he's going to be okay after he hears the news...

[Angel]

Thanks for the advice and opinions everyone. I just found out today that I am taking him to MEPS on Monday of next week, so if there are any other believers out there... he could really use some prayers right now.

He called me today, and sounded frantic to get to MEPS, but that's the earliest date they would give me. It just sucks SO bad knowing that he's going to go through this right before the holidays, and it breaks my heart to be the one to have to take him there. I hope he's going to be okay after he hears the news...

NEXT Monday? That's just BRUTAL to tell someone they have a serious medical condition and then make them wait that long to find out what the condition is....IMO, unacceptable practice!!!!!!!!!!

Prayers of comfort for this young man at this stressful time!

[stevew2]

Thats realy sad Jim. I would wait till after the holidays,but i dont know shit.i wouldnt think a month would make that much difference. Consult a doctor, God bless you for what you have to deal with,may God bless him even more

[G.I.Jim]

Thats realy sad Jim. I would wait till after the holidays,but i dont know shit.i wouldnt think a month would make that much difference. Consult a doctor, God bless you for what you have to deal with,may God bless him even more

Thanks bro. I would wait until the holidays were over except for three reasons...

1. He's worried to death wondering whats wrong with his health.

2. I don't want him to pass it on to someone else if I can help it.

3. I don't have any say in the matter! I'm not even allowed to talk to him about it, or let him know ANY details about it whatsoever. I'm just supposed to act oblivious to the details, and just transport him to and from MEPS.

The timing just sucks so bad...

[stevew2]

Thats realy sad Jim. I would wait till after the holidays,but i dont know shit.i wouldnt think a month would make that much difference. Consult a doctor, God bless you for what you have to deal with,may God bless him even more

Thanks bro. I would wait until the holidays were over except for three reasons...

1. He's worried to death wondering whats wrong with his health.

2. I don't want him to pass it on to someone else if I can help it.

3. I don't have any say in the matter! I'm not even allowed to talk to him about it, or let him know ANY details about it whatsoever. I'm just supposed to act oblivious to the details, and just transport him to and from MEPS.

The timing just sucks so bad...

That does suck. You have to do your job. Witness to him , i know you ll do that anyway,take care sarge

[portland]

Thats realy sad Jim. I would wait till after the holidays,but i dont know shit.i wouldnt think a month would make that much difference. Consult a doctor, God bless you for what you have to deal with,may God bless him even more

Thanks bro. I would wait until the holidays were over except for three reasons...

1. He's worried to death wondering whats wrong with his health.

2. I don't want him to pass it on to someone else if I can help it.

3. I don't have any say in the matter! I'm not even allowed to talk to him about it, or let him know ANY details about it whatsoever. I'm just supposed to act oblivious to the details, and just transport him to and from MEPS.

The timing just sucks so bad...

From what I know of you....he is lucky to have you as the person who will be with him...as a nurse all I can say is we have come a long way in treatment of this disease.

You are in my thoughts....as this cannot be easy!

[G.I.Jim]

Thats realy sad Jim. I would wait till after the holidays,but i dont know shit.i wouldnt think a month would make that much difference. Consult a doctor, God bless you for what you have to deal with,may God bless him even more

Thanks bro. I would wait until the holidays were over except for three reasons...

1. He's worried to death wondering whats wrong with his health.

2. I don't want him to pass it on to someone else if I can help it.

3. I don't have any say in the matter! I'm not even allowed to talk to him about it, or let him know ANY details about it whatsoever. I'm just supposed to act oblivious to the details, and just transport him to and from MEPS.

The timing just sucks so bad...

That does suck. You have to do your job. Witness to him , i know you ll do that anyway,take care sarge

You're right Steve, and I WILL witness to him. I know it's going to be hard for him to hear at the time, so I guess I'll have to play it by ear. Either way... it'll be a rough day for him.