bluejeangirl76 wrote:StevePerryHair wrote:I just hate that it is something these girls live and breathe. Like there aren't more important things than if your thighs touch or not or if her noses is too big, or if her boobs are getting too big for her frame size. The focus seems way off to me. And maybe Im just forgetting. Maybe I had some of these things happen when I was younger too. But I guess Im just amazed at how aware they are of fashion and things fitting just right, wearing tight things, it's just so different to me. The 80's were great for size 8/10 girls like me!! We could wear baggy clothes
If kids want to kind something to pick on, they'll do it. There are certainly more important things than what you look like or what clothes you wear... the kids who learn early to value that and treat people well are the ones who go through getting picked on for dumb stuff like that (and therefore learn from it...). I got picked on in jr. high because I was the shy quiet one - an easy target so to speak - and I didn't have the great clothes and I was flat and whatever else was on their made up list of things that were "wrong". The boys were the worst. One of them gave me a stupid nickname because of my nose... I mean ..
really? But that's what they do, fine one dumb thing to pick on you for, as if there isn't enough pressure to be this or be that to start off with... When the boys dicovered the whole bra-snapping routine, I remember one horrible little boy did it to me once and said "you don't even need this, what are you wearing it for?"
And the girls in high school weren't much better. Some teenage girls seem to almost make an entire sport of tearing each other down. If you aren't one of the 'cool' ones, forget it. And I know (now) they they do it to make themselves feel better, or look better. Hell, I've even run into adults who do that. They have a need for you to see things a certain way, or see certain things about people so that you won't be looking at what they don't want you to see about them. Insecurity.
And kids really take that stuff to heart.
I tell my daughter all the time it's their own insecurities that make them say those things. I mean good lord!! She was upset that a girl said her thighs don't touch, and it made her self conscious about them!! So I asked her, does that girl have thighs that touch? Are they kind of big for her size maybe? And my daughter said, yes, they touch, and she's short so her thighs aren't really thin. So I said BINGO, that is your answer. She is NOT happy with her thighs, so she had to cut yours down to make herself feel better. These aren't just "mean girls". These are girls who are all friends. That's what bothers me. Their doing it to the girls they care about too. Sure there were girls who said things to me that affected me. I was horribly shy back then too. I still remember some of the things that hurt my feelings. Amazing how we let that stuff from so long ago still take up brain space
So I guess knowing the words hurt, is why my mom claws come out when she comes home with these stories. I tell her to be careful who she is choosing as friends. That if someone is not good for you, you might want to reconsider the friendship. And she does seem to migrate away from the girls who do this, but not without hurting first. It's hard to watch your kid hurt
Anyway, I just hate that all things they pick on these days seem to be about weight, boob size, and facial features. She was at a sleep over, and the girls made a "boob list" comparing who had the biggest to smallest in order.... how would you have liked to be girl number 12???? This is age 14!!! RIDICULOUS!!
