Best Smoking Gun Ever

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Best Smoking Gun Ever

Postby T-Bone » Mon Nov 15, 2010 2:35 pm

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Re: Best Smoking Gun Ever

Postby Peartree12249 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 3:16 pm



:shock: I guess we won't be seeing this episode on Cops anytime soon. :roll:
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Postby Rockindeano » Mon Nov 15, 2010 3:31 pm

T-Bone, your threads are usually pretty lame, and downright unamusing, so let me help you out here.

This is one helluva article. I just have to post it here to get people to read it. Hope you don't mind T-Bone.

Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.
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Postby brandonx76 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:24 pm

A full on fallopian fungis...

Seriously, this thread reaks of de ja vu :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby yulog » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:59 pm

Gardinella girl Image
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Postby Michigan Girl » Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:38 am

LOL ...
Someone posted this story a week or so ago and it mysteriously disappeared!! :shock:
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Postby hoagiepete » Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:38 am

An earlier thread on this mysteriously disappeared. What a way to begin my Monday. Wish I wouldn't have had that last beer yesterday.
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Postby Andrew » Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:24 am

hoagiepete wrote:An earlier thread on this mysteriously disappeared. What a way to begin my Monday. Wish I wouldn't have had that last beer yesterday.


I removed in the name of good taste....er....I mean...I.....oh fuck it, I give up.
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Postby RossValoryRocks » Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:37 am

Andrew wrote:
hoagiepete wrote:An earlier thread on this mysteriously disappeared. What a way to begin my Monday. Wish I wouldn't have had that last beer yesterday.


I removed in the name of good taste....er....I mean...I.....oh fuck it, I give up.


Well that statement fits the current name of this forum doesn't it?
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Postby hoagiepete » Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:38 am

Andrew wrote:
hoagiepete wrote:An earlier thread on this mysteriously disappeared. What a way to begin my Monday. Wish I wouldn't have had that last beer yesterday.


I removed in the name of good taste....er....I mean...I.....oh fuck it, I give up.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby steveo777 » Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:20 am

Andrew wrote:
hoagiepete wrote:An earlier thread on this mysteriously disappeared. What a way to begin my Monday. Wish I wouldn't have had that last beer yesterday.


I removed in the name of good taste....er....I mean...I.....oh fuck it, I give up.


After reading the article, I think I'd pass on that. ;) :lol: :lol:
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Postby StevePerryHair » Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:23 am

That thread was funny, no matter how much in bad taste it was :lol: :lol: (and sorry but "taste" is not a pun I want to think about with this article :twisted: :lol: )
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Postby steveo777 » Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:16 pm

Bearded Clam with an attitude!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Arianddu » Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:34 pm

steveo777 wrote:Bearded Clam with an attitude!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


Aparently Bearded Clam waiting to give you food poisoning.
Why treat life as a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive & well-preserved body? Get there by skidding in sideways, a glass of wine in one hand, chocolate in the other, body totally worn out, screaming WOOHOO! What a ride!
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Postby RossValoryRocks » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:06 am

Arianddu wrote:
steveo777 wrote:Bearded Clam with an attitude!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


Aparently Bearded Clam waiting to give you food poisoning.


Thanks...just shot coffee all over my monitor...+1 as they say...Very funny comment!
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Postby Rip Rokken » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:26 am

I can't believe nobody has said, "Something smells awfully fishy with this story." Not really my style of joke, so I have to pass that wide-open opportunity down and let someone else plug that hole.

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Postby steveo777 » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:57 am

Rip Rokken wrote:I can't believe nobody has said, "Something smells awfully fishy with this story." Not really my style of joke, so I have to pass that wide-open opportunity down and let someone else plug that hole.

Image


Not even that corn lovin' stevew2 would take that on! :wink:
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Postby hoagiepete » Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:58 am

This may have set back female (oral) satisfaction decades. :shock:
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Postby RossValoryRocks » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:05 pm

hoagiepete wrote:This may have set back female (oral) satisfaction decades. :shock:


Good point...what guy who has read this isn't going to wince a little right before going down...no more good faith cunnilingus...every women gets the finger test first...and ALL you guys know what I am talking about!

I think we should all sue this woman for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....
Last edited by RossValoryRocks on Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby hoagiepete » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:17 pm

RossValoryRocks wrote:
hoagiepete wrote:This may have set back female (oral) satisfaction decades. :shock:


Good point...what guy who has read this isn't going to wince a little right before going down...no more good faith cunnilingus...every women gets the finger test first...and ALL you guys know what I am talking about!

I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


:lol: :lol: Funny as shit...but true.
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Postby The_Noble_Cause » Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:35 am

RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?
"I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts." - Stu, Consumate Pussy Eater
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Postby RossValoryRocks » Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:57 am

The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Borrow away! I've been munching box all my adult life and I can tell you that us men shouldn't be faced with daunting task of getting that woman's umm...hygiene...issues out of our mind before we go down for a little tongue wagging! Class action here we come! And ladies...we are doing it for you!
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Postby StevePerryHair » Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:02 am

RossValoryRocks wrote:
The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Borrow away! I've been munching box all my adult life and I can tell you that us men shouldn't be faced with daunting task of getting that woman's umm...hygiene...issues out of our mind before we go down for a little tongue wagging! Class action here we come! And ladies...we are doing it for you!
These posts are making me extra happy I am not a guy or a lesbian :shock: :lol:
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Postby RossValoryRocks » Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:05 am

StevePerryHair wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:
The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Borrow away! I've been munching box all my adult life and I can tell you that us men shouldn't be faced with daunting task of getting that woman's umm...hygiene...issues out of our mind before we go down for a little tongue wagging! Class action here we come! And ladies...we are doing it for you!
These posts are making me extra happy I am not a guy or a lesbian :shock: :lol:


As long as you are hygienic...its all good!
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Postby Deb » Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:36 am

The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Favor though? Please change "women" to "woman" in the sig.....can't lump all us women in there, cuz of one pushy stinky one. :lol:
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Postby Michigan Girl » Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:48 am

Deb wrote:
The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Favor though? Please change "women" to "woman" in the sig.....can't lump all us women in there, cuz of one pushy stinky one. :lol:


lol ...I don't think there's anything wrong w/being a little pushy ...but a gun, or was it a knife?!?!
That's kinda dangerous ... :wink:

JFB posted the best self~help website in the first thread for the other problem!!
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Postby StevePerryHair » Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:08 am

Michigan Girl wrote:
Deb wrote:
The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Favor though? Please change "women" to "woman" in the sig.....can't lump all us women in there, cuz of one pushy stinky one. :lol:


lol ...I don't think there's anything wrong w/being a little pushy ...but a gun, or was it a knife?!?!
That's kinda dangerous ... :wink:
:lol: :lol: yeah, there are much less violent ways to be pushy ;) :lol:
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Postby Deb » Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:20 am

StevePerryHair wrote:
Michigan Girl wrote:
Deb wrote:
The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Favor though? Please change "women" to "woman" in the sig.....can't lump all us women in there, cuz of one pushy stinky one. :lol:


lol ...I don't think there's anything wrong w/being a little pushy ...but a gun, or was it a knife?!?!
That's kinda dangerous ... :wink:
:lol: :lol: yeah, there are much less violent ways to be pushy ;) :lol:


:lol: Ya, but if you keep yardin' on their hair all the time, they're going to go bald. :lol: :P
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Postby StevePerryHair » Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:25 am

Deb wrote:
StevePerryHair wrote:
Michigan Girl wrote:
Deb wrote:
The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Favor though? Please change "women" to "woman" in the sig.....can't lump all us women in there, cuz of one pushy stinky one. :lol:


lol ...I don't think there's anything wrong w/being a little pushy ...but a gun, or was it a knife?!?!
That's kinda dangerous ... :wink:
:lol: :lol: yeah, there are much less violent ways to be pushy ;) :lol:


:lol: Ya, but if you keep yardin' on their hair all the time, they're going to go bald. :lol: :P


Dammit!!! So THAT'S why my husband is going bald???? :lol: :lol: Someone should have warned me of this!! :lol:
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Postby RossValoryRocks » Thu Nov 18, 2010 6:18 am

StevePerryHair wrote:
Deb wrote:
StevePerryHair wrote:
Michigan Girl wrote:
Deb wrote:
The_Noble_Cause wrote:
RossValoryRocks wrote:I think we should all sue this women for depriving us of our God given right to go down with a clear mind, and good thoughts....


Hell yes. Now THAT'S a great sig line right there. Mind if I borrow it?


Favor though? Please change "women" to "woman" in the sig.....can't lump all us women in there, cuz of one pushy stinky one. :lol:


lol ...I don't think there's anything wrong w/being a little pushy ...but a gun, or was it a knife?!?!
That's kinda dangerous ... :wink:
:lol: :lol: yeah, there are much less violent ways to be pushy ;) :lol:


:lol: Ya, but if you keep yardin' on their hair all the time, they're going to go bald. :lol: :P


Dammit!!! So THAT'S why my husband is going bald???? :lol: :lol: Someone should have warned me of this!! :lol:


You guys think I am naturally bald and/or shave? Think again!
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