I don't know what to call this thread....

[S2M]

Deano's tale got me to thinking about stupid stuff I did as a kid....I posted it in his thread. I figured on making it it's own thread.

Feel free to post your own....



Hmmmm....I would say the worst thing *I* ever did was when I was working 3rd shift in my base's Pass Office in Minot, ND....There were 2 of us working and we were bored....so I came up with this, at the time, cool idea of running through the phone book and looking for an entry where both names were listed, like - Mike and Carrie Lewis...etc. So I would dial the number, and if a male answered say, 'Is Carrie there?' and I would get the typical response - 'Do you know what time it is, who's this?!' And I would say - 'WHO'S THIS?!'...and it never failed with this response - "This is her husband, WHO'S THIS?!'

Then I'd say - "Oh shit, she didn't tell me she was married!!!!", then hang up....and we'd be laughing for the whole shift....

[Everett]

The worst thing you ever did thread . BTW that is pretty damn funny

[Melissa]

Your story reminds me of a family member's story who works in a warehouse that has a phone number that is just ONE number off from a Pizza Hut not far away too. They get calls all the time from people thinking they're calling Pizza Hut, and apparently one day in particular they got just a ridiculous amount of those calls. Well one guy decides that for the rest of the day he would just act like he was indeed working at Pizza Hut and let them believe that's where they called and he started taking pizza orders Well needless to say a few people never got their pizza when they wanted it, and probably called the REAL Pizza Hut and cussed them out, and I find that hilarious

[steveo777]

Speaking of Pizza places, you don't want to know what we did with the dough, as teens, when we worked at Shakey's.

(hint: American Pie)

Good news: we threw it away and didn't recycle it out the the consumer.

[S2M]

Speaking of Pizza places, you don't want to know what we did with the dough, as teens, when we worked at Shakey's.

(hint: American Pie)

Aptly named I'd say....

[StevePerryHair]

When I was in the 4th grade I had a mean teacher who tortured me. And I was HORRIBLY shy, and she was mean. I was a nail biter and she'd embarrass me in front of the class and make me miss recess if she saw me doing it. She was also an insect lover. Literally wouldn't kill a fly. Shed open the window.

We went outside one day with magnifying glasses to find insects as part of a lesson. Some boys got in trouble for cooking ants...wth did she expect?? So THEN she sees a spider. Wants the whole class to come look and tell her why it's not an insect. Everyone gives their answers and then we start walking away. Only I purposely walked towards the spider and stepped on it Worse, she SAW me do it and yelled "Lynn did you just kill that spider on purpose" shocked and mad at me. I turned red and had tears and told her no, sorry, it was an accident. She couldn't prove I did, so I didn't get in trouble. But dammit, I stepped on that damned spider to spite that horrible woman!! I think that's the first stamp in my ticket to hell!

[Melissa]

I was a nail biter

WAS?

[Michigan Girl]

When I was in the 4th grade I had a mean teacher who tortured me. And I was HORRIBLY shy, and she was mean. I was a nail biter and she'd embarrass me in front of the class and make me miss recess if she saw me doing it. She was also an insect lover. Literally wouldn't kill a fly. Shed open the window.

We went outside one day with magnifying glasses to find insects as part of a lesson. Some boys got in trouble for cooking ants...wth did she expect?? So THEN she sees a spider. Wants the whole class to come look and tell her why it's not an insect. Everyone gives their answers and then we start walking away. Only I purposely walked towards the spider and stepped on it Worse, she SAW me do it and yelled "Lynn did you just kill that spider on purpose" shocked and mad at me. I turned red and had tears and told her no, sorry, it was an accident. She couldn't prove I did, so I didn't get in trouble. But dammit, I stepped on that damned spider to spite that horrible woman!! I think that's the first stamp in my ticket to hell!

I am LMAO at what a HORRIBLE child you were ...is that the best you can do?!?

[StevePerryHair]

When I was in the 4th grade I had a mean teacher who tortured me. And I was HORRIBLY shy, and she was mean. I was a nail biter and she'd embarrass me in front of the class and make me miss recess if she saw me doing it. She was also an insect lover. Literally wouldn't kill a fly. Shed open the window.

We went outside one day with magnifying glasses to find insects as part of a lesson. Some boys got in trouble for cooking ants...wth did she expect?? So THEN she sees a spider. Wants the whole class to come look and tell her why it's not an insect. Everyone gives their answers and then we start walking away. Only I purposely walked towards the spider and stepped on it Worse, she SAW me do it and yelled "Lynn did you just kill that spider on purpose" shocked and mad at me. I turned red and had tears and told her no, sorry, it was an accident. She couldn't prove I did, so I didn't get in trouble. But dammit, I stepped on that damned spider to spite that horrible woman!! I think that's the first stamp in my ticket to hell!

I am LMAO at what a HORRIBLE child you were ...is that the best you can do?!?

I was really very sweet my entire life. It wasn't until I joined this message board and was corrupted that I got my completely paid for, stamped , and direct ticket to hell

[Gin and Tonic Sky]

Worst thing I ever did - as a teenager I worked in a soft water plant, after school, evenings weekends, etc. The delivery folks used to deliver salt to the customers, often pouring the salt into the softerners at the request of the customer. The empty sacks would get brought back and one of my jobs was to collect the sacks and in the dead of winter , burn the sacks in an old stove at the back of the plant.

One Winters evening I was doing just this burning a stack of Rock salt bags. I was usually the only one there at night. Well Im sitting there getting a little bored and I look across the plant through the glass door and see that the big boss man from head office has his suit hanging from a peg on the door. Why the fuck is 600 dollar suit sitting there on a peg in the office ? then I see the secretarys car in the parking lot. This is a about 6:30 pm at night so obviously he was giving her one somewhere in the plant.. Obviously they didn't know I was there in the back of the plant working away. I was thinking I hate that sonnofabitch, so I sneak into the office grab the suit off the peg, and chuck it into the woodburining stove and poof it gets burned up on an instant. I then turned the light out, and snuck out the back door and took the rest of the night off.

The stupid fucker spent two months looking for his suit jacket. asking everyone if they's seen it. obviousily he wouldnt admit to his trousers being mising either, that would give away the fact that he was giving the secretary a rodding after hours. I dont know if he ever figured it out but I got a damn good laugh at the whole thing.

[Rockindeano]

This story is much worse than my Burger King Tale.

I was in the Army in Ft Benning, GA, in boot camp. Horrible shit really. Always running, marching, polishing boots, etc. The worst life known to man. So after an entire day of this shit, these Pricks, ie, Commanding Officers would choose soldiers to go on "fire watch" all night long. The theory being they were trying to teach you how to be vigilant. Anyway, about 330A, I was bitter, tired and bored. Looking around the room, cussing out the CO in my mind, my eyes caught something....the Captain and all the officers kept their coffee mugs on the wall on hooks. I saw my captain's mug....Captain Hampton. Huge asshole. So, I thought, "I am going to fuck with this guy and teach him a little lesson."

I took the mug into the latrine(shitter), and proceeded to rub one out in there. Yep, you guessed it...I shot my load into the mug but didn't stop there. I rimmed my Johnson around and round in the mug, smearing a million little Deanos everywhere! I didn't touch it after that...I let it "dry up." I got up, cleaned myself off, and hung the mug back up on the wall. He came in on time at 400AM, and yep, got his mug and filled it up. When that dumb bastard sipped his coffee, I about lost it...

I laugh about this prank today.

[S2M]

Here's another one...I didn't do this, but I was involved indirectly.

Back in '88 when I was at bootcamp at Lackland AFB...for a couple of days we had to do landscaping around our building...so here we are cutting fronds of grass with scissors, and sweeping sand from sidewalks we hear this loud scream telling us to get down it's a bomb. This big black guy(weightlifter), and I'm talking almost Lee Haney huge comes sprinting down the stairs with a military issue duffel bag and hums it across the grass and proceeds to hit the deck. Well, you military vets know that it doesn't take long for the DIs to surround this freak and demand to know WTF this is all about! He gets up, and calmly tells the Instructors that he was cleaning the latrine and he heard ticking. One guy picks up the bag and calls out the name on the side and the kid comes over with his padlock keys(which we had to carry on a chain around our neck)...DI opens up the bag, dumps the contents on the grass, and out comes an alarm clock...Muscleman is turning red, the closest DI is in his face, and the remaining DIs are fucking busting a gut.

Man, the stories I could tell....

Here's another. This one is about me.

Like Deano said...we have to do fire duty. Early on I figured out a way to make money from this. The day you arrive at boot you come with a backpack, duffel bag, whatever....the Instructors make everyone dump out the contents on the beds and proceeed to pick through the stuff and either A. make fun of shit - kids bringing condoms, playboys...shit like that. and this QUICKLY becomes fodder for the DIs. or B. they take the shit for themselves. Well when they are done having their fun they make us put everything back in the bags and move them to a storage room, which is locked until the day we leave for Tech School...A room, mind you, that is adjacent to the utility closet. And both rooms have drop ceilings(not quite those weak ass ones, a bit stronger than those)...So I came up with a little money maker where I would climb up the utility closet and down into the storage room and get shit for kids....Radios, gum, magazines, walkmans....whatever they wanted....it was great.

[YoungJRNY]

Holy shit I can type forever on the things I did as a kid.

I guess I'll go with this one: I was about 8 or 9 years old and I was really close to my first cousin. Well, we were at a graduation party one day and we got bored of just sitting around. You know kids, we constantly need to do something. So me and my cousin were pouting not knowing what to do, until we walked past the coffee table, which had tons of sugar. The light bulb ( ) lit bright in our mind, so we decided to grab about 200 packets of sugar, go out in the parking lot and dunk all of them through the sun roofs of whoevers cars it was in front of us. I mean, it was an onslaught of sugar all through the vehicle like it was a white Christmas. I remember people running out afterwords frantically and being hysterical of what just happened. Turns out, that night my cousin chewed me out and admitted it so we had to go through the grueling process of admitting + apologizing to everyone. It was brutal.

[RossValoryRocks]

LITTLE DEANOS! ROFLMAO!

Nothing like an officer creaming his coffee with a Deano SURPRISE!

[YoungJRNY]

LITTLE DEANOS! ROFLMAO!

Nothing like an officer creaming his coffee with a Deano SURPRISE!

So what's it taste like, Stu? Just kidding, GO STILLERS!

[RossValoryRocks]

LITTLE DEANOS! ROFLMAO!

Nothing like an officer creaming his coffee with a Deano SURPRISE!

So what's it taste like, Stu? Just kidding, GO STILLERS!

Dunno I wasn't an officer...LOL...I had tickets to the game tonight...but family crap got in the way...I hate when that happens...but Stiller game or divorce wasn't an appetizing choice!

[Michigan Girl]

LITTLE DEANOS! ROFLMAO!

+1
lol ...a million of them!