Funny for today

[Pstburp]

[SF-Dano]

Mistakenly typed www.melodickrock.com into my browser this morning. Imagine my surprise when I looked back at my screen.

[Arianddu]

Mistakenly typed www.melodickrock.com into my browser this morning. Imagine my surprise when I looked back at my screen.

I was almost expecting a site dedicated to musically influenced comfortable rubber shoes.

[Pstburp]

[Pstburp]

edited

[Arianddu]

[Gin and Tonic Sky]

]

LOL x 50

[Arianddu]

[Peartree12249]

Bikini Wax: Do Not Try This At Home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0LvKg5a ... ture=email

[Arianddu]

Bikini Wax: Do Not Try This At Home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0LvKg5a ... ture=email

[Arianddu]

[Arianddu]

[Rick]

Boobs in back too? What a lucky guy that dude is.

[Peartree12249]

[quote="Arianddu"][/quote

Oh dear god!

[Arianddu]

[Arianddu]

[Arianddu]

- Your house moves but your car don't.

- You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

- You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

- Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

- You burn your yard rather than mow it.

- You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

- The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

- You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

- You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

- You come back from the dump with more than you took.

- You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

- Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

- Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

- You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

- You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

- You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

- You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

- You have a rag for a gas cap.

- Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

- You can spit without opening your mouth.

- You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

- Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

- You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

- The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

- Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

- You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

- A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

- You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

- You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

- You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

- You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table . . . in front of her kids.

- You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

- You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

- Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."

- You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

- Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey watch this."

- You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

- Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

- Your junior prom had a daycare.

- You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: "Gentlemen start your engines."

- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

- The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

- You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

- One of your kids was born on a pool table.

- You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

- You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

- You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.

- Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

- Your front porch collapses and kills more than five animals.

- At some point in your life you've been too drunk to fish.

- The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

- Your sister is also your in-law.

- Your family reunions are held at HOOTERS.

- You think McDonalds is healthy because it has salad on its burgers.

-The booking agent for "The Jerry Springer Show" has you on speed dial.

- You attend family reunions to meet women.

- If your dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.

- If you have grandchildren older than your youngest child... and you're still in your 30's.

- If you don't remove the cigarette from your mouth before telling the state trooper to kiss your ass.

- If every part of your car is painted a different color of primer.

- If you think 401K is your mother-in-laws bra size.