"No Screaming Children Allowed" Movement - Blog

[TRAGChick]

http://significantinsights.com/no-kids- ... bans-kids/

NO KIDS ALLOWED – MCDAINS RESTAURANT BANS KIDS
Jul. 22nd | Posted by jerryrose

McDains restaurant in Monroeville, Pennsylvania has banned kids six and under from the restaurant.

The owner Mike Vuick says the reason is that younger kids are increasingly showing poor manners and are disruptive to other customers. He also says parents give the staff a hard time when they are asked to control their children. Vuick says it’s just become too much of a hassle.

MSNBC.com did a survey asking, “Do you think banning young kids from a restaurant is a good idea?” It might shock you to discover that 46% said yes and 51% said it depends on the restaurant. That’s 97 % who like the idea. Only 3% objected to the idea. For some parents this ought to be a wake up call.

This could mean a couple of things. It could mean that people today just don’t like to be around kids or it could mean that people today don’t like to be around undisciplined kids. I happen think it’s the latter. People don’t like to be around kids who don’t know how to behave and parents who let them get by with it. We’ve all experienced it and it’s frustrating. You’ve been on a plane with kids running up and down the isle making a nuisance of themselves while their parents are either oblivious or don’t care. Or you’ve been in a store where a child is throwing a tantrum with a parent clueless as to what to do. Or you’ve been in a restaurant such as McDanins where children are making a scene.

I have to make a confession here. I don’t care how cute they are, I don’t like to be around children like that. I just don’t have a lot of respect for parents who allow it. Apparently I’m not alone. Remember, 97% of the people surveyed feel the same way. Most kids do know how to behave in public. Most are not spoiled brats. I’m the grandfather of 14 grandkids and though they are not perfect by any means, I can honestly say, they know how to behave in public and there is rarely a problem.

Children don’t learn good behavior in public. Discipline starts at home and moves outward. Children need parameters and parents are the ones to provide them. When your kids become the epicenter of their universe you’re headed for trouble, both now and later. How your kids behave in public is a pretty good indicator of what they’re learning at home.

There are a lot of well-disciplined kids who won’t be able to eat at McDains. But there are other restaurants, unless of course more owners get fed up with unruly kids and follow Mike Vuick’s cue.

Do you think McDains children-ban is a good idea? I would like to know what you think about this. And whatever you do, keep showing up.

[Duncan]

Totally agree with that policy. However, I have to say that in my experience American kids are much bettered mannered in restuarants than British kids.

[conversationpc]

I agree with this 100%.

[Rip Rokken]

Wish they could extend this to television... my daughter has been watching iCarly, and that show takes the cake for screechiness... worst I've ever had to listen to. I finally took it out of our Netflix Instant Queue.

[Gideon]

Wish they could extend this to television... my daughter has been watching iCarly, and that show takes the cake for screechiness... worst I've ever had to listen to. I finally took it out of our Netflix Instant Queue.

Netflix is the worst fucking thing that's ever happened to me. I've stopped working out and I've become addicted to Battlestar Galactica.

[portland]

Wish they could extend this to television... my daughter has been watching iCarly, and that show takes the cake for screechiness... worst I've ever had to listen to. I finally took it out of our Netflix Instant Queue.

As a mother of a 9 year old girl I could not agree more....ICarly needs to go far, far away!

[conversationpc]

Wish they could extend this to television... my daughter has been watching iCarly, and that show takes the cake for screechiness... worst I've ever had to listen to. I finally took it out of our Netflix Instant Queue.

I HATE that show. My daughter wants to watch it sometimes and I've basically banned it from the existence of our household.

[Rip Rokken]

And she's been shrieking for kicks all night long now... I definitely blame the show.

[Rip Rokken]

Wish they could extend this to television... my daughter has been watching iCarly, and that show takes the cake for screechiness... worst I've ever had to listen to. I finally took it out of our Netflix Instant Queue.

Netflix is the worst fucking thing that's ever happened to me. I've stopped working out and I've become addicted to Battlestar Galactica.

If I don't install a Blu-Ray player in my gym soon so I can stream
Netflix there, I fear I'll suffer the same fate.

[Gideon]

Wish they could extend this to television... my daughter has been watching iCarly, and that show takes the cake for screechiness... worst I've ever had to listen to. I finally took it out of our Netflix Instant Queue.

Netflix is the worst fucking thing that's ever happened to me. I've stopped working out and I've become addicted to Battlestar Galactica.

If I don't install a Blu-Ray player in my gym soon so I can stream
Netflix there, I fear I'll suffer the same fate.

Seriously, it's awful. Thank God I've got a few more years of a speedy metabolism.

[tammy]

Sure there are some kids that are clearly misbehaving & unruly and the parents don't care, but don't be so quick to judge unless you know for sure...I have a 10 yr old daughter with autism, she's non-verbal and screeching & throwing herself on the floor of restaurants, stores, amusement parks, etc. sometimes happens. Being autistic she doesn't know this isn't "acceptable", and she can't communicate. I hate it just as much as the people staring at us, but we have to go out into the world sometimes & it's part of her learning to be a part of the community. Because she looks "normal" people think she is a brat, unless they happen to hear her guttaral babbling or see her biting her hand, then they might get it. There are tons of kids, older ones even, on the autistic spectrum who can speak and still have tantrums...I know some...usually they have sensory issues or trouble transitioning from one thing to another. Parenting a kid with autism is very, very rough. I always thought of putting a tee-shirt on my kid for public outings with the words, "ain't misbehavin', I have autism".

[Arianddu]

Sure there are some kids that are clearly misbehaving & unruly and the parents don't care, but don't be so quick to judge unless you know for sure...I have a 10 yr old daughter with autism, she's non-verbal and screeching & throwing herself on the floor of restaurants, stores, amusement parks, etc. sometimes happens. Being autistic she doesn't know this isn't "acceptable", and she can't communicate. I hate it just as much as the people staring at us, but we have to go out into the world sometimes & it's part of her learning to be a part of the community. Because she looks "normal" people think she is a brat, unless they happen to hear her guttaral babbling or see her biting her hand, then they might get it. There are tons of kids, older ones even, on the autistic spectrum who can speak and still have tantrums...I know some...usually they have sensory issues or trouble transitioning from one thing to another. Parenting a kid with autism is very, very rough. I always thought of putting a tee-shirt on my kid for public outings with the words, "ain't misbehavin', I have autism".

Question for you, Tammy - when your daughter behaves like this, what is your reaction? Do you threaten to spank her if she doesn't behave and then not follow through, do you tell her to stop, she's embarrasing mommy and she'll be punished and then keep on with the empty threats but don't actually do anything? Do you ignore her and keep talking to your fellow diners? Or do you make the effort to try and parent her as best you can under trying circumstances? And if she's really not coping with the place, do you ignore her because dammit, you want your dinner! or do you accept that tonight is not the night, she's just not coping, and you take her home?

Because I'm fine with kids having the odd melt-down in public; what I'm not fine with is having my experience ruined by poor parenting. I've been yelled at in cinemas where two thirds of the way through the movie I've politely told the loud five year old behind me that it's ok to ask questions during the movie, but in a cinema you whisper so you don't disturb other patrons. I was in a kid's movie, I knew there would be kids making noise, but I waited for the better part of an hour for the parents to say ONCE to the child "remember, you need to whisper here". I would have put up with an excited five year old forgetting and talking or even yelling, if his parents had reminded him, but they didn't say one word while this kids was talking at the top of his lungs. Not the child's fault if his parents suck at socialising their kids.

Same thing in a restaurant - maybe the kid has never been before and doesn't understand eating in a restaurant isn't like eating at home with the family; it will take a little while for the child to learn new behaviour. That's ok, IF the parents are obviously trying to teach their kid company manners; it's when they don't even bother that I get angry. I'm reasonably tolerant of public tantrums when I'm eating out, too - it's maybe later than they normally eat, the kid is tired, there's not much to do, they're bored, they get fussy, tantrum ensues. I empathise with the parents who have ordered a meal that's on their way, and I'll be tolerant of the parent who is cuddling the pooped kid to get them to calm down, or who is doing their best to amuse a bored child. But I have no tolerance for the parents who make empty threats that their spoiled little darling knows will never be acted on, or for the parents who ignore their children to the point where the only way the kids can get some attention is by acting out. And I have no patience for parents who ignore that their little kids are just not old enough for an experience, or are too tired or too overwhelmed to deal with what's going - you can't expect a 2 year old to be well behaved in a restaurant at 9 at night, it's just not fair on them and parents shouldn't do that to their kids. I nick-named Disneyland "Tantyland" because of all the tantrums I saw going on, and more than half were from parents dragging exhausted kids around - the parents were the ones throwing the tantrums because they didn't want to bail after only two hours, but the kids simply didn't have the energy to carry on.

You can't bann selfish, self-absorbed parents because sadly they don't come with an easy way to identify them. The next best thing is to bann the kids - not ideal, not fair, but what else do you do?

[Rip Rokken]

We used to have an excellent spaghetti restaurant here that was housed in an old historic building, and I had a friend who was a waitress there. She told me once about this family of regular customers - I think they came in once a week without fail. She said they were a nightmare to deal with because their kids ran rampant, acting up and harassing other diners at their tables. The real kicker? The husband and wife were both child psychologists, lol!

[artist4perry]

Young children especially toddlers can act up in public. But I would suggest calling it a night or getting a babysitter. A lot of time you see parents trying to eat out way past toddlers bed time, and the tired child just wants to go to sleep!

As for Tammy, my heart goes out to you. I have a son with some autistic traits. My son, being 21 now was not much of a problem when he was little unless he was stressed or tired. I usually just removed him from the over stimulated circumstance. Many times autistic children cannot deal with a great deal of change. I deal with autism in my classroom, and my husband deals with it because he works with special needs adults. I know it can be very trying to raise a child and have others understand. My son used to slam his head against things when he was not able to talk when he was small. I rarely if ever ate out. But they do need to be around people, and in social situations. Hang in there.

But never should a parent be ruled by such tantrums, or there will be a repeat. I would take my child out if needed. If it worsened it would be time to go to home and make it easier on other folks there. I know now I hate to hear a demanding brat who is well above the age of knowing how to act show their butts in a restaurant. These children are just allowed to do as they please, run around the restaurant like it is their personal playground, bumping people in the backs, knees, etc... Mom and dad are too preoccupied with themselves to bother checking on them or even noticing they are the terror of the place.

These are the folks I have a beef with. Your kids are not at home. Don't let them down to run around! Don't let them grab food at a salad bar if they are too little to not make a huge mess! This is not your kitchen table! And by all means don't let them tear up things, the partition ropes, the things on the walls, etc. This will make you the target of every angry eye in the place. Because you are failing at your job. Being in control of your child is your job, not the restaurants.

[conversationpc]

The worst display I've ever seen was years ago at a Mexican place my wife and I used to go to all the time. That particular evening, there were a group of mothers, all with their children. The women were so self-absorbed that they completely ignored the children, who proceeded to run around their tables, smashing and throwing food all over the place, including near or perhaps even on adjoining tables. We were a little further away that some other folks but no one of the people who had food thrown on their table said anything.

[Rip Rokken]

I think they should ban kids entirely from Chuck E. Cheese and Cici's Pizza - it's an utter nightmare any time I've gone in there.

[artist4perry]

I think they should ban kids entirely from Chuck E. Cheese and Cici's Pizza - it's an utter nightmare any time I've gone in there.

Then quit trying to climb on the Rat! LOL

[conversationpc]

I think they should ban kids entirely from Chuck E. Cheese and Cici's Pizza - it's an utter nightmare any time I've gone in there.

Keep yourself under control and no one else should have a problem with you.

[Rip Rokken]

I think they should ban kids entirely from Chuck E. Cheese and Cici's Pizza - it's an utter nightmare any time I've gone in there.

Keep yourself under control and no one else should have a problem with you.

That reminds me, there is a huge mega-church right around the corner from my office. The senior pastors have their own private covered parking pad right by the side entrance so they don't have to suffer the walk thru the main lot, so maze-like in its layout it must have been designed to confuse and keep out the Devil. I sometimes take my daughter there because they have a playroom inside with a two-story high jungle gym - the biggest I've ever seen, has to be 30 feet high. I call that place Chuck E. Cheesus.

[ebake02]

I like the idea but some of the blame for that child's behavior has to fall on their parents. Kids like that were never shown how to be polite and respectful in public, it's a parent's job to show their child that that kind of behavior is unacceptable.

[Arianddu]

I like the idea but some of the blame for that child's behavior has to fall on their parents. Kids like that were never shown how to be polite and respectful in public, it's a parent's job to show their child that that kind of behavior is unacceptable.

Very true. Maybe we should make all shitty parents wear a badge that says "Ask Me About Being An Irresponsible Parent" and banning their arses from all kinds of public places.

Sigh - if only it would work in practice!

[conversationpc]

I think they should ban kids entirely from Chuck E. Cheese and Cici's Pizza - it's an utter nightmare any time I've gone in there.

Keep yourself under control and no one else should have a problem with you.

That reminds me, there is a huge mega-church right around the corner from my office. The senior pastors have their own private covered parking pad right by the side entrance so they don't have to suffer the walk thru the main lot, so maze-like in its layout it must have been designed to confuse and keep out the Devil. I sometimes take my daughter there because they have a playroom inside with a two-story high jungle gym - the biggest I've ever seen, has to be 30 feet high. I call that place Chuck E. Cheesus.

[tammy]

Don't get me wrong I can't stand the bad behavior in restaurants either & yeah, the parents seem oblivious to it, chatting away. As for our autistic girl - when she has an unexpected meltdown my husband takes her to the car until she calms down or if it isn't working then we leave...we rarely go anywhere. She can't talk so she screams/growls...she doesn't know how to wait for anything (it's gotten somewhat better than a few years ago)...the few times we did take her to Disneyland we get the Special Needs pass to bypass long lines and this kid will still sometimes drop herself on the ground 'cuz she can't understand that we still have to wait for the ride to come back. Autism is a very strange disorder and the number of kids being diagnosed with it is climbing (I think it is up to 1 in 100 births)...there are varying degrees of it...at one end some have Aspbergers which is high functioning (our friend's son has this - he's very smart but not able to relate to people)...our girl is low-functioning. She still wears diapers and she just doesn't get potty training (we've been training her for years!)...she is under-reactive in feeling (for example: she can fall and cut herself badly and not be fazed or cry...instead she smears the blood all over...she's twice fallen and gotten cut at school that required stitches both times and she just gets up and keeps on going...she's always moving.
Sorry to go on...I've had another bad few weeks with her and one of the other awful things about Autism...she smears her feces all over herself & her room!...We always put her in footed pajamas turned around so the zipper is in the back and she can't get it unzipped but she finds a way now by putting her arm inside and down...if it weren't for my husband preventing it I would be putting her in a group home. It sucks. Cleaning and washing tons of laundry over and over...she also puts her finger in her nose and triggers bad bloody noses. I'm ready for an institution myself! I can't wait til she starts a period in about a year since she's already showing signs! We are switching to yet another behavior therapy agency next month to see how far they get with this...but, something better get better.

[artist4perry]

Don't get me wrong I can't stand the bad behavior in restaurants either & yeah, the parents seem oblivious to it, chatting away. As for our autistic girl - when she has an unexpected meltdown my husband takes her to the car until she calms down or if it isn't working then we leave...we rarely go anywhere. She can't talk so she screams/growls...she doesn't know how to wait for anything (it's gotten somewhat better than a few years ago)...the few times we did take her to Disneyland we get the Special Needs pass to bypass long lines and this kid will still sometimes drop herself on the ground 'cuz she can't understand that we still have to wait for the ride to come back. Autism is a very strange disorder and the number of kids being diagnosed with it is climbing (I think it is up to 1 in 100 births)...there are varying degrees of it...at one end some have Aspbergers which is high functioning (our friend's son has this - he's very smart but not able to relate to people)...our girl is low-functioning. She still wears diapers and she just doesn't get potty training (we've been training her for years!)...she is under-reactive in feeling (for example: she can fall and cut herself badly and not be fazed or cry...instead she smears the blood all over...she's twice fallen and gotten cut at school that required stitches both times and she just gets up and keeps on going...she's always moving.
Sorry to go on...I've had another bad few weeks with her and one of the other awful things about Autism...she smears her feces all over herself & her room!...We always put her in footed pajamas turned around so the zipper is in the back and she can't get it unzipped but she finds a way now by putting her arm inside and down...if it weren't for my husband preventing it I would be putting her in a group home. It sucks. Cleaning and washing tons of laundry over and over...she also puts her finger in her nose and triggers bad bloody noses. I'm ready for an institution myself! I can't wait til she starts a period in about a year since she's already showing signs! We are switching to yet another behavior therapy agency next month to see how far they get with this...but, something better get better.

Tammy my heart goes out to you! My son has Aspbergers syndrome the one that effects social abilities. He also had habits that were hard to break. Not to that degree, but once they get into one it is difficult to get them away from it. Is their a special needs teacher or doctor that can help you with this difficult habit she has? My son used to bash his head into things when he was little because he could not talk, he would bust his head open to the skull. Never cried. He has a high threshold of pain. We are lucky because he is very high functioning. As a matter of fact he is going to go to college this fall. His sister is going to look out for him there. We have told the college of his problems.

Know that I understand it is so difficult to raise a child and deal with such trials. Now that he is older it is easier. I know with more pronounced autism it is so much harder. If you ever need someone to talk to PM me. I will be glad to listen. Get yourself a support group of parents that also deal with autism, maybe they too could use someone to listen, and maybe you can help each other. i hope your new therapy agency is a good one. Keep looking, keep insisting on getting proper help and support.

[bluejeangirl76]

I am all in favor of this. The way I see some children acting - more to the point, getting away with acting - is unbelievable. And this banning is a direct result of parenting, or lack thereof. How about this, get off the phones and the interwebs and whatever else and spend time with the children, maybe teach them a manner or two, among other things. I would have been heavily disciplined (translation: knocked the fuck out) for ever behaving that way in a restaurant. I learned very early what is not acceptable in stores and restaurants and in other peoples' homes.

Anytime I see kids acting like that, I look at the parents. Clearly, there are going to be those times when the kid is just not having a good day, and you can see the poor mom and/or dad trying to deal with it. It is what it is. It happens, not a big deal. But when they're blatantly just not giving a crap what the kids are doing, and we've all seen this a lot, I am sure, then it's just frustrating for the other patrons, staff, etc.

I'm lucky to have many shining examples of quality parenting in my life and in my family to have learned from over the years (as well as plenty of examples of what NOT to do... omg, the day my nephews... who 16 and 17 at the time... showed up to our grandmother's funeral, as pallbearers nonetheless, in pants that were way too long and totally shredded to hell and filthy at the cuffs, I wanted to ask my sister what in hell's name possessed her to let them leave the house looking that way FOR GRANDMA'S FUNERAL... but, not my kids, not my problem - I said nothing, but it was one of those "boy oh boy, if my kid ever did that..." moments).

As to what Tammy was saying about having an autistic child... now, most of us are educated enough and hopefully not judgmental enough, to look at the situation and recognize what's happening... you can usually pretty much tell what the child's deal is, and if I see or hear a kid acting up or causing mayhem and I look over and see that more than likely, it's a child who could be autistic or have some other kind of situation, I don't say a damn thing and let it go, because it isn't the kids fault and mom and dad are doing what they can with what they have. I have a cousin with a pretty serious behavioral disorder that is a result of a number of other issues - very long story - and for him, it actually became MUCH worse to deal with him the older he got, and now as an adult, it's harder (for his parents) sometimes to be out and about than it ever was when he was a child. He's only 10 months younger than I am so I remember his childhood very well, we pretty much grew up together... and his issues were not nearly what they are now - he will never be able to live on his own, etc. As a 5 - 10 year old, social situations weren't too much of a problem. Now, it's nearly impossible, even when it's just the family at one of our homes.

But these are less common circumstances.

But I also kind of feel that it's not particularly fair to the parents who did do their job and who don't have children who go apeshit all over the place. Isn't that the way though... sometimes a few people will just ruin it for everyone.

[SF-Dano]

I like the option of having a "family" section in a resteraunt. Or, keep it on an individual basis. You own a resteraunt, you don't like kids, then you have the right to have an adults only resteraunt and advertise it as such. And the reverse should be true also, "family friendly resteraunt.

I think they should have done the same thing with smoking in bars here in California. No reason the owner of the establishment should not be able to decide if he wants to allow smoking in his bar or not.

[AR]

My wife and I go to places that are kid friendly. One favorite place has an outdoor yard and huge play area for kids, but yet is an outstanding restaurant/sports bar. Our daughter is generally very good in public, but even the best ones have their melt downs now and then and I agree that is very annoying when you are at another table trying to eat.

[TRAGChick]

Thank you all for your honest answers to a VERY sensitive subject.8) \~/

I do not have kids; don't know how much time is left......44 is looming....in Rocktober....

My point of view is this:

I go to the local Stop & Shop; I see kids screaming & crying....one time, a Dad was like YELLING & threatening his kids.
It was uncomfortable for ALL involved....the Cashiers were moving things along; trying to get them out of the store ASAP...

But, at other times, at the SAME S&S.....I see kids that are ABSOLUTE ANGELS.

And you know what? I will go OUT OF MY WAY and complement the Parents.

[TRAGChick]

I would have been heavily disciplined (translation: knocked the fuck out) for ever behaving that way in a restaurant.

OMG - SO RELATE to this!

I learned very early what is not acceptable in stores and restaurants and in other peoples' homes.

Maybe it was my "hardline Irish" upbringing:
MAJOR consequences if you stepped a TOE out of line!:shock:

[scarab]

for the most part, if its a family or chain restaurant and its 6-8 PM I expect a little unruliness from kids.
but what i really don;t get is when parents take their kids to the bar section on a weekend night (or any night really if its busy) and let their kids be unruly.
for the hard working people wanting to go to the bar for a little downtime, this is very disrespectful.
whats really crazy is when parents have their kids sit at the bar on a busy weekend night, seen it so much, real crazy.
the give them a coloring book kids menu and a soda while they drink. nice