CHILD ABUSE!!!!

[Rick]

Do you guys remember the story about the lady last year who sent her child back to Russia, putting him on a plane by himself? Though I don't agree with her actions, I know exactly how that mother must've felt. Everyone condemned her but very few really knew what she was going through. Here's an article from my blog with my take on it from April of last year...

http://davesdominion.wordpress.com/2010 ... rspective/

Incredible story, Dave. I'm absolutely sure your little girl was adopted by the best people she could have been.

[StevePerryHair]

Are you going to tell me that it's a proper and wonderful form of discipline for this child?? I feel even worse they thought that just had a "bad" child and treated him this way, when who knows what further damage it could cause. You will never get me to agree she was right doing what she did, no matter what that child's diagnosis. I dont see that kind of discipline as love. Sorry. She needs help for her and that child. I feel sad for her, but she took the wrong route. I WISH she had gotten help without that video. Filming something like that with her daughter was just wrong.

I'm not saying there is a right or wrong here, I just think this woman is being condemned when she shouldn't be.

Well I HAVE said that the fact she sought help, should have counted for something. Because to me it meant she knew somewhere inside in wasn't okay and it wasn't going to work. But from what I read about it, the jury felt it was abuse because she'd go through the lengths she did to tape it with her daughter, for the sake of a tv show. They felt it was more about that than actually getting help. Since I was not in that court room, hearing all of their evidence, I'm not going to argue law. She didn't take the proper routes for her problem. This is HER consequence. Adults have them too!!

Anyway you look at it, it IS a from of abuse. I'm sorry, but his age STILL tells me that. No matter what his disorder, you can not expect a child THAT age to go through that as a form of punishment. He could be a normal everyday 5 year old and I feel the same. Children deserve more dignity and respect than that. That child could not control most of those actions that he was being held accountable for. That makes me feel even worse he was treated that way. They now know he has an issue that caused his behavior, I hope they can find help for him. Restraining a child, or the things dave describes he does are not THIS. Dave does what he can to get through those times. That boy was not in the middle of any kind of out of control episode when she planned to tape that. It's wrong!

[Behshad]

Do you guys remember the story about the lady last year who sent her child back to Russia, putting him on a plane by himself? Though I don't agree with her actions, I know exactly how that mother must've felt. Everyone condemned her but very few really knew what she was going through. Here's an article from my blog with my take on it from April of last year...

http://davesdominion.wordpress.com/2010 ... rspective/

A very touching story, sir. I wish they would use your story at schools and at hospitals for patents and children to realize what they complain about daily is a fraction of what you and your wife go through.
I wish you the best my friend.

[StevePerryHair]

Do you guys remember the story about the lady last year who sent her child back to Russia, putting him on a plane by himself. Though I don't agree with her actions, I know exactly how that mother must've felt. Everyone condemned her but very few really knew what she was going through. Here's an article from my blog with my take on it from April of last year...

http://davesdominion.wordpress.com/2010 ... rspective/

Wow Dave! Thank you for sharing that! I couldn't get through it without tears. You are amazing people! And your determination to do the best for her is beyond inspiring. It makes my daily struggles with my kids look like playtime!! It upsets me that so many unwanted babies are born into this world, unloved, and uncared for, and this sort of thing is inflicted on that innocent life before and after birth!!! Without the two of you, who knows if she'd even get to grow up! And what you said about the death of what you "thought" your child would be. My mother said those exact words to me, about my brother, and she has been an example for me, watching her great love that still cares for him as an adult at 41, when most moms would have given up long ago!!! As I said, you are amazing people!!!

I definitely don't follow the "real men don't cry" stereotype, so I shed a lot of tears writing that.

The last picture at the bottom is when we met her at the orphanage in December 2004. She was tiny then and not even seven years old. She's a lot taller and heavier now. Unlike many orphanages in eastern Europe, this one was fairly well kept up. It looked like an old German manor and the kids appeared to be fairly well taken care of. Some of the orphanages in the more urban areas are somewhat run down and the kids are sometimes tied down to their changing tables with diapers. In the orphanages with the older children, they're often allowed to roam free during the day and some of the older men in some towns will often sneak in to have their way with the girls. The girls who aren't adopted often turn to prostitution when they're released to go on their own. Drugs and STDs are usually in their future.

The smaller picture is the first one we saw of her on the web site where my wife found her. We also have a couple of short videos from before we adopted her, the first being where the country's minister of education was interviewing the children at her orphanage.

Actually, interesting story...While we were there, the same minister of education set up an interview with a magazine who did a story on us for the Christmas season on adoptions. Because of that article, the President of Estonia visited her orphanage after we left and there was a big write-up on that also.

That's a great picture!

God, it's just heart wrenching!! You know I read that many Russians were watching this case, to see what would happen to this woman. When I think about the conditions the freaking Russians allow for these children, how dare they really!!! If they care so much about these children, why are these things you describe happening THERE???

The value for life is not quite the same maybe. I remember a nurse from Russia visiting the blood bank I worked at years ago. She cared for chernobyl kids, the ones born with cancers because of the melt down. And here she is learning techniques to save those kids, which is great. But then she was telling my supervisor things, criticizing the US for having too much value on life, such as caring too much about abortions and euthanasia, and death penalties.. she said there, it's not a big deal at all, and it made no sense to her. She said women have abortions all the time and it's no big deal. It made me think maybe they just have a different mentality. Maybe when you're country goes through all they have, maybe that happens. I have no idea!! But then a lot of people here think all of that is fine too, so who knows.

And real men DO cry! That is a dumb stereotype!!

[conversationpc]

Do you guys remember the story about the lady last year who sent her child back to Russia, putting him on a plane by himself. Though I don't agree with her actions, I know exactly how that mother must've felt. Everyone condemned her but very few really knew what she was going through. Here's an article from my blog with my take on it from April of last year...

http://davesdominion.wordpress.com/2010 ... rspective/

Wow Dave! Thank you for sharing that! I couldn't get through it without tears. You are amazing people! And your determination to do the best for her is beyond inspiring. It makes my daily struggles with my kids look like playtime!! It upsets me that so many unwanted babies are born into this world, unloved, and uncared for, and this sort of thing is inflicted on that innocent life before and after birth!!! Without the two of you, who knows if she'd even get to grow up! And what you said about the death of what you "thought" your child would be. My mother said those exact words to me, about my brother, and she has been an example for me, watching her great love that still cares for him as an adult at 41, when most moms would have given up long ago!!! As I said, you are amazing people!!!

I definitely don't follow the "real men don't cry" stereotype, so I shed a lot of tears writing that.

The last picture at the bottom is when we met her at the orphanage in December 2004. She was tiny then and not even seven years old. She's a lot taller and heavier now. Unlike many orphanages in eastern Europe, this one was fairly well kept up. It looked like an old German manor and the kids appeared to be fairly well taken care of. Some of the orphanages in the more urban areas are somewhat run down and the kids are sometimes tied down to their changing tables with diapers. In the orphanages with the older children, they're often allowed to roam free during the day and some of the older men in some towns will often sneak in to have their way with the girls. The girls who aren't adopted often turn to prostitution when they're released to go on their own. Drugs and STDs are usually in their future.

The smaller picture is the first one we saw of her on the web site where my wife found her. We also have a couple of short videos from before we adopted her, the first being where the country's minister of education was interviewing the children at her orphanage.

Actually, interesting story...While we were there, the same minister of education set up an interview with a magazine who did a story on us for the Christmas season on adoptions. Because of that article, the President of Estonia visited her orphanage after we left and there was a big write-up on that also.

That's a great picture!

God, it's just heart wrenching!! You know I read that many Russians were watching this case, to see what would happen to this woman. When I think about the conditions the freaking Russians allow for these children, how dare they really!!! If they care so much about these children, why are these things you describe happening THERE???

The value for life is not quite the same maybe. I remember a nurse from Russia visiting the blood bank I worked at years ago. She cared for chernobyl kids, the ones born with cancers because of the melt down. And here she is learning techniques to save those kids, which is great. But then she was telling my supervisor things, criticizing the US for having too much value on life, such as caring too much about abortions and euthanasia, and death penalties.. she said there, it's not a big deal at all, and it made no sense to her. She said women have abortions all the time and it's no big deal. It made me think maybe they just have a different mentality. Maybe when you're country goes through all they have, maybe that happens. I have no idea!! But then a lot of people here think all of that is fine too, so who knows.

And real men DO cry! That is a dumb stereotype!!

In all fairness, the conditions in Estonia, where we adopted, are better than in Russia. They are better off there financially most, if not all, of the former Soviet republics.

[StevePerryHair]

Do you guys remember the story about the lady last year who sent her child back to Russia, putting him on a plane by himself. Though I don't agree with her actions, I know exactly how that mother must've felt. Everyone condemned her but very few really knew what she was going through. Here's an article from my blog with my take on it from April of last year...

http://davesdominion.wordpress.com/2010 ... rspective/

Wow Dave! Thank you for sharing that! I couldn't get through it without tears. You are amazing people! And your determination to do the best for her is beyond inspiring. It makes my daily struggles with my kids look like playtime!! It upsets me that so many unwanted babies are born into this world, unloved, and uncared for, and this sort of thing is inflicted on that innocent life before and after birth!!! Without the two of you, who knows if she'd even get to grow up! And what you said about the death of what you "thought" your child would be. My mother said those exact words to me, about my brother, and she has been an example for me, watching her great love that still cares for him as an adult at 41, when most moms would have given up long ago!!! As I said, you are amazing people!!!

I definitely don't follow the "real men don't cry" stereotype, so I shed a lot of tears writing that.

The last picture at the bottom is when we met her at the orphanage in December 2004. She was tiny then and not even seven years old. She's a lot taller and heavier now. Unlike many orphanages in eastern Europe, this one was fairly well kept up. It looked like an old German manor and the kids appeared to be fairly well taken care of. Some of the orphanages in the more urban areas are somewhat run down and the kids are sometimes tied down to their changing tables with diapers. In the orphanages with the older children, they're often allowed to roam free during the day and some of the older men in some towns will often sneak in to have their way with the girls. The girls who aren't adopted often turn to prostitution when they're released to go on their own. Drugs and STDs are usually in their future.

The smaller picture is the first one we saw of her on the web site where my wife found her. We also have a couple of short videos from before we adopted her, the first being where the country's minister of education was interviewing the children at her orphanage.

Actually, interesting story...While we were there, the same minister of education set up an interview with a magazine who did a story on us for the Christmas season on adoptions. Because of that article, the President of Estonia visited her orphanage after we left and there was a big write-up on that also.

That's a great picture!

God, it's just heart wrenching!! You know I read that many Russians were watching this case, to see what would happen to this woman. When I think about the conditions the freaking Russians allow for these children, how dare they really!!! If they care so much about these children, why are these things you describe happening THERE???

The value for life is not quite the same maybe. I remember a nurse from Russia visiting the blood bank I worked at years ago. She cared for chernobyl kids, the ones born with cancers because of the melt down. And here she is learning techniques to save those kids, which is great. But then she was telling my supervisor things, criticizing the US for having too much value on life, such as caring too much about abortions and euthanasia, and death penalties.. she said there, it's not a big deal at all, and it made no sense to her. She said women have abortions all the time and it's no big deal. It made me think maybe they just have a different mentality. Maybe when you're country goes through all they have, maybe that happens. I have no idea!! But then a lot of people here think all of that is fine too, so who knows.

And real men DO cry! That is a dumb stereotype!!

In all fairness, the conditions in Estonia, where we adopted, are better than in Russia. They are better off there financially most, if not all, of the former Soviet republics.

Well, that's kind of scary if those are better conditions....I can only imagine what the worse ones are like

Oh! sorry! I misread! You are saying that the OTHER ones are the ones with the poor conditions! I can't read today! Or type well!

[Saint John]

Wow Dave! Thank you for sharing that! I couldn't get through it without tears.

Emotionally charged!

But I agree with you. Man, Dave and his wife are some fine people. I don't think I could have gone through that and survived.

Dave, that story was better than just about anything I've ever read. Cheers and keep up the fine work.

[StevePerryHair]

Wow Dave! Thank you for sharing that! I couldn't get through it without tears.

Emotionally charged!

I like to call it being passionate and compassionate!

[mikemarrs]

Do you guys remember the story about the lady last year who sent her child back to Russia, putting him on a plane by himself? Though I don't agree with her actions, I know exactly how that mother must've felt. Everyone condemned her but very few really knew what she was going through. Here's an article from my blog with my take on it from April of last year...

http://davesdominion.wordpress.com/2010 ... rspective/

Incredible story, Dave. I'm absolutely sure your little girl was adopted by the best people she could have been.

I agree.Just got through reading it and it is incredible.Very blessed!

[Journey/Survivor]

Here's what amazes me about people who defend this woman's actions, or anyone who does shit like this to a child:

Let's say this weren't a mother and child, and instead a husband and wife. Wife comes home with a speeding ticket. Husband decides she needs to "learn a lesson" about this "behavior". Husband screams in his wife's face, makes her sit down and FORCES hot sauce in her mouth and makes her hold it there. Proceeds to scream in her face some more while warning her she better not spit out that sauce. Then decides she needs a little more bullying and wearing down of her as a human being, you know, so she can learn that "lesson", and proceeds to STRIP his wife naked and FORCE her into a cold shower and hold her there until HE decides her "lesson" has been taught.

Still ok for these things to be done in that situation? No? Yeah thought so.

How many of you men would do something like that to your wife? How many of you women would PUT UP with something like that from your husband?

And there you go. Completely f'ed up thinking that heaven forbid a husband do this to a grown woman, but it's perfectly ok for a mother to do it to a small child.

I've always found it mind-blowingly hypocritical for adults to think that it's OK for them to hit kids, but that it's unacceptable for a child to hit an adult.

Idealy, no one is hitting anyone else (Except Boxers) ever. No child should ever hit an adult without there being a damn good reason to. But then again, no adult should ever be hitting a kid. It's ridiculous to think that an adult (Who's big) has the right to hit a child. And yet, a child (Who's small) can't hit an adult. That's totally ass-backward.

No husband should ever hit his wife, just the same as no wife should ever hit her husband. But at least if a husband hit's his wife, she has the ability to have him arrested, or to simply leave him. Children are generally stuck in the abusive situation that their in with their parent that's hitting them.

[Arianddu]

Oh and sorry but I raised 3 children. All kids have issues in school now and then. This is a LITTLE boy. What if he has ADD or something, that makes behaving harder for him????? This woman deserves it. Watching it again makes me want to claw her eyes out!

I agree, and I think I will go after my mom in court anyway for putting Tabasco on my tongue, even though it was only once or twice and I love hot sauce. Truth is, I was much more scarred over the time she ripped the head off my G.I. Joe as retaliation for me pulling the head off my sister's Barbie. The punishment certainly did not fit the crime -- you could pop Barbie heads right back in, but the G.I. Joe head was held in place by an elastic band and hook, so that soldier needlessly suffered an irreversible decapitation.

Now come on Rip, GI Joe's a soldier, decapitation is a risk of the job. Barbie's just a civillian.

[Rick]

Here's what amazes me about people who defend this woman's actions, or anyone who does shit like this to a child:

Let's say this weren't a mother and child, and instead a husband and wife. Wife comes home with a speeding ticket. Husband decides she needs to "learn a lesson" about this "behavior". Husband screams in his wife's face, makes her sit down and FORCES hot sauce in her mouth and makes her hold it there. Proceeds to scream in her face some more while warning her she better not spit out that sauce. Then decides she needs a little more bullying and wearing down of her as a human being, you know, so she can learn that "lesson", and proceeds to STRIP his wife naked and FORCE her into a cold shower and hold her there until HE decides her "lesson" has been taught.

Still ok for these things to be done in that situation? No? Yeah thought so.

How many of you men would do something like that to your wife? How many of you women would PUT UP with something like that from your husband?

And there you go. Completely f'ed up thinking that heaven forbid a husband do this to a grown woman, but it's perfectly ok for a mother to do it to a small child.

I've always found it mind-blowingly hypocritical for adults to think that it's OK for them to hit kids, but that it's unacceptable for a child to hit an adult.

Ideally, no one is hitting anyone else (Except Boxers) ever. No child should ever hit an adult without there being a damn good reason to. But then again, no adult should ever be hitting a kid. It's ridiculous to think that an adult (Who's big) has the right to hit a child. And yet, a child (Who's small) can't hit an adult. That's totally ass-backward.

No husband should ever hit his wife, just the same as no wife should ever hit her husband. But at least if a husband hit's his wife, she has the ability to have him arrested, or to simply leave him. Children are generally stuck in the abusive situation that their in with their parent that's hitting them.

I couldn't agree more. I did spank my daughter a few times when she was young. If I had it to do all over again, I never would have. I was disciplining the way I was disciplined, I guess. I regret it now. She turned out to be a very spectacular human being, in my eyes, however, and I couldn't be more proud of her. She never hangs up the phone with me without telling me she loves me, and man, that is huge to me.

Sometimes I think people shouldn't be parents until they're older. Until they mature enough to realize the nature of life, as it is, and that children are people too. Not someone that needs to be subservient to their parents, but someone that is someone. I absolutely realize now that there are much better tools and ideas to teach, instead of punish, a child that needs redirection.

[yulog]

Don't tell Larry that Rip got an 8 pager he will be crushed

[conversationpc]

Wow Dave! Thank you for sharing that! I couldn't get through it without tears.

Emotionally charged!

But I agree with you. Man, Dave and his wife are some fine people. I don't think I could have gone through that and survived.

Dave, that story was better than just about anything I've ever read. Cheers and keep up the fine work.

I mentioned God, though...Shouldn't you take points away for that? I'm just sayin'...

I need to get back to doing more writing. I've hardly done any over the last 9-10 months. I've got to give a talk coming up in November, though, so I need to get cracking.

[Saint John]

I mentioned God, though...Shouldn't you take points away for that? I'm just sayin'...

While I certainly don't agree with the premise that anyone could "know" that there is a God, I am not going to hold it against anyone that uses what they believe in a loving, caring and nurturing way. Whether you're right or wrong, at least in this instance, it doesn't make a difference ... because you're doing the right thing. Check that ... an extraordinary thing. And that trumps everything.

[Rip Rokken]

Don't tell Larry that Rip got an 8 pager he will be crushed

It's a rare thing indeed... BTW, on the subject of spanking, I disagree. I've only spanked my kiddo a small handful (no pun intended) of times, and nothing has ever worked better to correct her behavior than that. And I disagree with the general thought, "You should never spank your child in anger." I get the point - that you run the risk of going overboard if you're in a heated emotional state, but hell... I have to be extremely pissed off just to do it, and it's taught her the inherent dangers of pissing people off -- "Provoketh not without assuming responsibility for the consequences for your actions". One of the greatest life lessons she'll learn. I think any time I've spanked her it's when she was being an absolute, unholy terror to her mother -- screaming at the top of her lungs and beating on a locked bedroom door, something like that. The last time it happened, I coupled the spanking with an early retirement to her bedroom without TV or dinner. That was the last time she threw a fit like that. It's no longer a problem. Our relationship couldn't be better, and she doesn't fear me in the least any more than we fear the police. But she understands actions vs. consequences.

[conversationpc]

Don't tell Larry that Rip got an 8 pager he will be crushed

It's a rare thing indeed... BTW, on the subject of spanking, I disagree. I've only spanked my kiddo a small handful (no pun intended) of times, and nothing has ever worked better to correct her behavior than that. And I disagree with the general thought, "You should never spank your child in anger." I get the point - that you run the risk of going overboard if you're in a heated emotional state, but hell... I have to be extremely pissed off just to do it, and it's taught her the inherent dangers of pissing people off -- "Provoketh not without assuming responsibility for the consequences for your actions". One of the greatest life lessons she'll learn. I think any time I've spanked her it's when she was being an absolute, unholy terror to her mother -- screaming at the top of her lungs and beating on a locked bedroom door, something like that. The last time it happened, I coupled the spanking with an early retirement to her bedroom without TV or dinner. That was the last time she threw a fit like that. It's no longer a problem. Our relationship couldn't be better, and she doesn't fear me in the least any more than we fear the police. But she understands actions vs. consequences.

According to some here, you're now an abuser. Might as well turn yourself in right now.

[Michigan Girl]

I couldn't agree more. I did spank my daughter a few times when she was young. If I had it to do all over again, I never would have. I was disciplining the way I was disciplined, I guess. I regret it now. She turned out to be a very spectacular human being, in my eyes, however, and I couldn't be more proud of her. She never hangs up the phone with me without telling me she loves me, and man, that is huge to me.

Sometimes I think people shouldn't be parents until they're older. Until they mature enough to realize the nature of life, as it is, and that children are people too. Not someone that needs to be subservient to their parents, but someone that is someone. I absolutely realize now that there are much better tools and ideas to teach, instead of punish, a child that needs redirection.

We've all done things we regret/would possibly
do differently/made mistakes. The fact is, we are about as perfect as those little
beings that we are trying to mold. The only difference is numbers~years, we live, we
learn.
I feel certain that any one of us would be horrified if one of those ^^ moments were caught
on film and viewed/judged by the world ...what would we see?!? Horror/love, fear/love,
anger/love, sad/love, desperation/love ...or this emotionless, just going through the
motions to hurt/teach you aaaaagain?!?!? I've struggled w/the justice, for mother
and child ...I always end up feeling the same!!

[Rip Rokken]

I didn't finish my thought about spanking kids in anger. As long as people even in anger spank in a very controlled manner (nothing besides the bottom, no bruises, blood, and definitely no permanent damage), I think it's a perfectly legit way to punish, as long as it works to solve the problem. For me, it has to be a defcon 4 response -- last option, and extremely rare (less than once per year maybe). That's my personal view, anyway. I'm personally much more bothered by people who can spank in a perfectly calm state of mind -- that's really disturbing to me.

If spanking doesn't work, then find another solution. No reason under the sun to continue anything that inflicts physical pain if it doesn't solve the problem -- you'd only run the risk of damaging your relationship with the kid. And anyone who abuses their kids either physically, mentally, or emotionally should receive the same thricefold in kind.

[Michigan Girl]

Dave, as heartwrenching/warming, touching and honest as your story is, it does
not change my feelings/views concerning this incident ...I felt love in yours!!
Beautiful!!






just read Rip's "Reap What You Sow, Sister" ...and I sow agree!!

[Rip Rokken]

Speaking of child abuse... what the hell's wrong with people?!?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/08/26/mi ... osed-home/



LAKEVILLE, Minnesota – A desperate dad fleeing foreclosure left behind his 11-year-old son a week before they would have been evicted from their home, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported Friday.

Steven Alexander Cross fled during the night while his son, Sebastian, slept in their Lakeville, Minnesota home, located 25 miles south of Minneapolis. The property was in foreclosure and the owner had received an eviction notice.

The father left a note of instruction for his son, telling him to take his PlayStation and go to a neighbor's house when he woke up.

"If this paper is wet, it's because I am crying so bad," he wrote to the boy before making his escape July 18. "You know your dad loves you more than anything."

Cross, 60, also drafted a second letter, explaining his struggle to find work as an architect in the down economy.

After the boy awoke to find himself all alone, he went to the home of neighbor Joanne Pahl with the letters.

"He started to cry," another neighbor said about the incident. The child is currently in protective custody and will soon be placed with a relative.

"For a parent to abandon a child under these circumstances -- it is both unusual and disturbing," Dakota County Attorney James Backstrom said.

Officials still have not located Cross but he is believed to possibly be hiding in California.

He has been charged with gross misdemeanor of child neglect and a warrant has been issued for his arrest.

[Rip Rokken]

Two more evil parents... Police said that room got to over 100 degrees each day.

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2011/08/ ... 314563622/

Texas boy punished for wetting bed dies

DALLAS, Aug. 28 (UPI) -- A Texas couple charged in their 10-year-old son's dehydration death withheld water to punish him for wetting his bed, authorities say.

Jonathan James died in late July at the Red Bird home where he was living temporarily with his father and stepmother, Michael Ray James and Tina Alberson, both 42, The Dallas Morning News reported. The couple are in the Dallas County Jail after being charged with causing serious bodily harm to a child.

The newspaper said documents obtained after the couple's arrest reveal the 10-year-old was denied drinking water for five days in July and died after collapsing and hitting his head on the floor. The boy's grandmother told the Morning News Friday he had called her in late June to say he was afraid to live with his parents during a monthlong, court-ordered custody visit. Jonathan's twin brother, Joseph, who also was staying at the home, was not injured, the newspaper said.

The grandmother, Sue Shotwell of Duncanville, said Jonathan asked if he could stay with her instead.

She said her grandson told her, "I know I'm going to be in trouble while I'm there because I always am."

"That's the first time we ever heard that from him," she said, adding Michael James could have stopped the allege abuse.

"What person in their right mind deprives anyone of water?" she asked.

Another article with more details:

5:31 PM, Aug 26, 2011

Dallas, TX (WFAA/CNN) - A 10-year-old Dallas boy died, allegedly at the hands of his father and step-mother, and his twin brother talks about what led to his death.

"But I didn't do nothing because I would get in trouble. I wanted to do something, I just did, but I couldn't," said Joseph James.

At age 10, Joseph James isn't just well-spoken, he's remarkably collected considering the deadly abuse he said his twin brother faced last month.

"The day that he died, they made him eat a PBJ, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the peanut butter got stuck in his throat and they still wouldn't let him have water," said Joseph.

Johnathan and Joseph James are fraternal twins. Both boys were good in school. They earned "student of the month" at the same time, enjoyed cub scouts as well. But last month, the twins were staying with their dad and step-mom when Dallas police say the couple deprived Johnathan of water, punishing him because they thought he took guitar parts from their step-brother.

They made him stand in front of a window. They put an 'X' on the floor and an 'X' on the window and the sun was coming straight through it and there was no air conditioning there," said Joseph.

It went on for five days. No liquids, police say, until finally the 10-year-old collapsed and died.

"When we picked him up and leaned him over the kitchen chair he was shaking and moaning," said Joseph.

He remembers feeling helpless.

"I couldn't do nothing about it because if I said something I would end up getting in trouble, too," he said.

Thursday, Dallas police arrested Johnathan's father, Michael James, and his step-mother, Tina Alberson. They were charged with injury to a child.

"It should never have happened," said the twins' mother, Krista Bishop.

The arrests are a relief for the twins' mom, Joseph too. Justice they hope for Johnathan's death from dehydration.

If the dad and step-mom are convicted, they could face up to 99 years in prison.

[Arianddu]

I didn't finish my thought about spanking kids in anger. As long as people even in anger spank in a very controlled manner (nothing besides the bottom, no bruises, blood, and definitely no permanent damage), I think it's a perfectly legit way to punish, as long as it works to solve the problem. For me, it has to be a defcon 4 response -- last option, and extremely rare (less than once per year maybe). That's my personal view, anyway. I'm personally much more bothered by people who can spank in a perfectly calm state of mind -- that's really disturbing to me.

If spanking doesn't work, then find another solution. No reason under the sun to continue anything that inflicts physical pain if it doesn't solve the problem -- you'd only run the risk of damaging your relationship with the kid. And anyone who abuses their kids either physically, mentally, or emotionally should receive the same thricefold in kind.

I think the important line between punishment and abuse is why you are spanking; when the spanking - or the shouting, for that matter - is being done so the parent can blow off steam in a bad temper, then it's abuse. Basically, if her behaviour is causing your anger, then what you're saying holds. Sadly, I see friends of mine justifying taking their bad mood out on their kids as punishing the kids for bad behaviour - but if the parents weren't in a shitty mood from a bad day at work, low blood sugar, whatever, they'd say the kids's behaviour was just fine.

[artist4perry]

Dave, my heart goes out to you and your wife. I am glad to see that little girl got so lucky to have the two of you tough it out.

My son was ADD with Aspergher's Syndrome. He is in his first year of college now, and fine,but it was not always an easy thing to raise him. He was not able to talk before he was 5 years old. He would slam his head into things when he was angry causing severe cuts and bruises. I had doctors thinking I was an abusive parent.

I kept trying to get someone to evaluate him to help him. One time I was carrying him upstairs to put him in time out, and he pinched me hard in the throat and cut the air off to my windpipe. He would not let go for a while, and I almost dropped him. I finally tore his hand off of my neck. Spanking did not work on him, it only made him more volitile.

Finally when we were being evaluted to go to Germany with the army they found out what I had been trying to say all along. Something was wrong with my little boy. I finally got the help we needed for him.

I could not go out at all, no babysitters, nothing. His father, which I can happily say I am divorced from now, just made himself scarce till after bedtime most days because he did not want to have to deal with him. I was quite alone.

Now that volitile little boy is well mannered, and only has mood swings on occasions, most I have learned to deal with in stride. I love my son, but I can sympathize with you Dave, the worst of my trials were over in a few years, and only got bad in his teens again, then calmed down. Best wishes to you and your wife. And God bless your little girl. He sure did with great parents such as you!

[tammy]

We also had adopted (she was 11 mos. old) from Russia in 2002 and believe me I thought she had RAD at that age! It was hell! When she was at the orphanage she seemed the happiest & chubbiest of all the babies...but bringing her home was a different story.
She did not want any cuddling, she screamed a lot, and never slept..neither did we. My husband would hold her while she screamed and arched her back to get away (we had read about RAD & holding therapy & thought maybe this was the answer)...after a year I was getting desperate and by that time was due to deliver our biological child. Well meaning friends/family kept saying, "she's fine - she's so smiley and cute" and so I thought it must be me (I fantasized about sending her back! - this toddler was destructive & would rather pull the cords out from behind the frig than play toys with me)...but, instead I called the county for an assessment. They assessed and found she was very delayed in several areas...I got her into therapies just as she was turning 2. When things weren't progressing as much as we hoped we were told to take her to a Developmental Pediatrician...I was believing that it must be RAD...turns out instead she was very Autistic! It has been very difficult...I get overwhelmed quite a lot...her behaviors are hard to deal with (I've mentioned her still being in diapers at age 10 & still smearing feces! this is the worst behavior thing, I think...the thing is she just doesn't understand)...but, over the years she has accepted hugging & asks for hugs...she is still primarily non-verbal but can say some sentences if you can understand her...she is sensory seeking so the hugs feel good to her now..she needs that deep pressure. She is better connected to us and people but I don't know if she would miss us, she doesn't seem to, but who knows what goes on in her head. She likes her videos & iPod and that seems to be her real happiness.
I'm not gonna judge the woman in the video as I don't know the whole story...I do think she and the family need help and not be on Dr. Phil for cryinoutloud...I've read some horror stories about RAD kids - some adopted from other countries and some foster. I also wonder how many of these kids have special needs that aren't as obvious...Autism can be mild to severe...throw in the frustration of a language barrier if they come from other countries.

And, I grew up in the 60s where the school principal had a paddle in the office...my one brother always got soap in the mouth from my mom (he's in his 50s and he still is a foul-mouthed hothead)...I remember getting the willow switches across my bare legs (the willow tree is still my favorite tree, go figure)...back then everybody got "swatted", but now you have to watch it even if you turned out alright. My sister-in-law just got a visit from CPS which was a big shock since they love that boy to pieces and he really is an angel...apparently a "friend of theirs" saw my SIL lightly smack his hand for something and this "friend" made the call to CPS...all was cleared of course, but still.

[conversationpc]

We also had adopted (she was 11 mos. old) from Russia in 2002 and believe me I thought she had RAD at that age! It was hell! When she was at the orphanage she seemed the happiest & chubbiest of all the babies...but bringing her home was a different story.
She did not want any cuddling, she screamed a lot, and never slept..neither did we. My husband would hold her while she screamed and arched her back to get away (we had read about RAD & holding therapy & thought maybe this was the answer)...after a year I was getting desperate and by that time was due to deliver our biological child. Well meaning friends/family kept saying, "she's fine - she's so smiley and cute" and so I thought it must be me (I fantasized about sending her back! - this toddler was destructive & would rather pull the cords out from behind the frig than play toys with me)...but, instead I called the county for an assessment. They assessed and found she was very delayed in several areas...I got her into therapies just as she was turning 2. When things weren't progressing as much as we hoped we were told to take her to a Developmental Pediatrician...I was believing that it must be RAD...turns out instead she was very Autistic! It has been very difficult...I get overwhelmed quite a lot...her behaviors are hard to deal with (I've mentioned her still being in diapers at age 10 & still smearing feces! this is the worst behavior thing, I think...the thing is she just doesn't understand)...but, over the years she has accepted hugging & asks for hugs...she is still primarily non-verbal but can say some sentences if you can understand her...she is sensory seeking so the hugs feel good to her now..she needs that deep pressure. She is better connected to us and people but I don't know if she would miss us, she doesn't seem to, but who knows what goes on in her head. She likes her videos & iPod and that seems to be her real happiness.
I'm not gonna judge the woman in the video as I don't know the whole story...I do think she and the family need help and not be on Dr. Phil for cryinoutloud...I've read some horror stories about RAD kids - some adopted from other countries and some foster. I also wonder how many of these kids have special needs that aren't as obvious...Autism can be mild to severe...throw in the frustration of a language barrier if they come from other countries.

And, I grew up in the 60s where the school principal had a paddle in the office...my one brother always got soap in the mouth from my mom (he's in his 50s and he still is a foul-mouthed hothead)...I remember getting the willow switches across my bare legs (the willow tree is still my favorite tree, go figure)...back then everybody got "swatted", but now you have to watch it even if you turned out alright. My sister-in-law just got a visit from CPS which was a big shock since they love that boy to pieces and he really is an angel...apparently a "friend of theirs" saw my SIL lightly smack his hand for something and this "friend" made the call to CPS...all was cleared of course, but still.

My prayers are with you. That's a tough road and something I wouldn't wish on anyone. However, some day you'll see that it was all worth it. There's no telling how badly that little boy's life would've turned out if you guys hadn't given him a loving home.

[Rip Rokken]

Another sicko... I seem to notice this type of crap more with younger (and often single) redneck and minority parents. They take whatever inner rage they carry around out on their kids. I think they should be humanely gassed.

http://news.yahoo.com/police-dallas-mom ... 36205.html



DALLAS (AP) — A 22-year-old mother was facing child abuse charges Friday after police say she glued her toddler daughter's hands to a wall, kicked her in the stomach and beat her over a potty training issue.

Joselyn Cedillo, 2, was on life support with multiple internal injuries at a Dallas hospital Thursday, The Dallas Morning News reported (http://dallasne.ws/pKJtEb ). A hospital spokeswoman told The Associated Press she had no information on the girl Friday.

The newspaper, citing police records, said glue and paint were stuck to Joselyn's palms, and that skin had torn away in places.

Joselyn's mother, Elizabeth Escalona, was crying and hysterical when she called her own mother Wednesday morning from her Dallas apartment, according to police records. The records show that when the grandmother arrived at the apartment, her granddaughter was unconscious on the floor. She took her to the hospital.

One of the girl's brothers said their mother kicked the child in the stomach and beat her with a belt and shoe, according to police records.

Another sibling said she couldn't sleep during the night because she heard her mother yelling and the girl crying. She said Joselyn had been having difficulty with potty training. She said Escalona dragged Joselyn by her feet from the kitchen to another part of the apartment, put glue on her hands and stuck them to the wall.

"This is beyond abuse," said Dallas police Sgt. Brenda Nichols. "This is torture."

A pediatrician said the girl had "severe life-threatening head and internal injuries" and was in a coma, according to police records.

Escalona is being held on $500,000 bond on a felony injury to a child charge that carries a sentence of up to life in prison. Her attorney didn't immediately return a phone call from the AP seeking comment.

Child Protective Services has taken custody of the girl and her three siblings, said agency spokeswoman Julie Moody. She said she could not discuss the family's history with CPS.