Magwheels wrote:And on the second day Monker became addicted to Steve Perry

Well, since I'm peeing in the piss-boy's bucket anyways, I may as well overflow it.
Here's another one from the archives...geez, these were fun to write way back then:
Life, the Universe, and Journey
In the beginning the band "The Golden Gate Rythm Section" was created.
Some people did not like this and even regarded it as a bad move.
Therefore it was quickly decided to change the name of the band to
Journey. This still did not make everybody happy. These unhappy
people became known as critics. They would write and talk about the
band in a negative way. Sometimes the critics were even paid for
their critical words.
Another group of people also emerged in these early days. These people
liked the band and their music. In fact, they regarded the band in
such high esteem that they would pay to listen to the band perform.
They would also spend their hard earned money on circular vinyl
artifacts called records. These people would repeatedly play and
listen to the vinyl records at home. This group became known as fans.
All things change and evolve. Journey seems to have evolved more
often and more quickly then most things. In fact, before they even
released a single vinyl record the members of the band had changed.
Prairie Prince was replaced by Aynsley Dunbar. Most people did not
even recogize this change and it is hardly even worth noting, except
to say that not all changes are very important.
In these early days the fans and critics more or less ignored each
other. The one group not caring that the other existed. As long as
critics were allowed to boast like the know-it-alls they thought they
were, sometimes even being paid to do it, they did not care that fans
were actually willing to spend money on the band. The reverse was also
true. As long as fans could spend money on the band to hear its music,
they did not care what the critics had to say.
Journey continued to record and release albums and perform. They were
working hard and the fans appreciated it. The critics did not.
Neither did the company who created and released the vinyl records.
They told the band to find a way to have more of their music broadcast
on radio waves so people with a radio receiver could tune in and hear
the music. For whatever reason, the radio broadcasters would not play
as much of the music as the vinyl record producers wanted.
So, in an attempt to have more of their music broadcast on radio,
Journey evolved again. This time they hired a singer named Robert
Fleischman. He performed with the band and wrote some music. But,
this evolution was also hardly noticed because the band evolved again
and he was replaced by Steve Perry.
This change also changed the type of music Journey was producing,
which changed the type of fan Journey was attracting, and it changed
the type of words the critics were writing. So, some fans saw this as
a bad move and did not accept the change and moved on with their
lives. Maybe they became Styx fans. Maybe they became critics
themselves. Or, both.
Since the songs could be heard on radio waves more often, a third
group started to emerge. This group sprouted from the people listening
to the radio waves. They would listen to the radio waves and sometimes
would be entertained by a Journey song. Listeners would hear the
music and spontaneously say things like, "Ah, yes, that was a nice
song." or "Wow, that was cool." or "hmmm, I wonder I'll have for
lunch?"
It is true that sometimes the radio listener just did not care for the
music as much as the fans or the critics. They were not being paid to
listen and they were not paying to listen. It was just background
noise for them.
At other times, however, the radio listener would be so impressed by a
song that he would buy the record or go to a live performance.
Eventually he may even consider himself a fan.
On a rare occasion, a radio listener may be affected in a negative
way. When this occurred he may say something like, "Oh, God, that was
awful!" In some of these cases he may even start telling those around
him how awful he felt the song was. If he had the vocabulary skill of
a thirteen year old and was able to translate his thoughts to type
written words, he may even find he could be paid for his opinions and
hence become a critic.
Since Journey was on the radio more often they earned more fans, found
more critics, and they had a lot of listeners. They were becoming
popular.
Journey evolved again by drummer Aynsley Dunbar being replaced by
Steve Smith. This is yet another not-quite-so-noticed change. But,
it was yet another evolution in this constantly mutating band.
However, Journey then mutated yet again when keyboardist, and original
lead singer, Gregg Rolie quit and was replaced by Jonathan Cain. Some
people regarded this as a bad move and therefore a few more critics
discovered Journey. However, for whatever reason Journey found
themselves on the radio more often then ever before. More people were
going to their live performances then ever before. Journey was more
popular then ever before. Therefore the additional critics were a bit
superfluous. The critics, because of their arrogant and know-it-all
nature, stubbornly endured these hard times.
Everything that has a finite lifespan, and can somehow be measured,
has an apex. When Journey reached their apex they were one of the most
popular rock bands on Earth. At the very peak of their popularity
Journey seemed to forget what got them there in the first place. They
released a record that left some fans thinking 'Huh?'.
Of course some fans understood it and even loved it. But, since some
fans went 'Huh?' the critics had the opening they had been waiting for
and went after Journey with all of the vengeance they could muster.
Feeling the pressure of their own popularity, the pressure of their
critics, the pressure of dissatisfied fans (who were also starting to
sound like critics) and the pressure to please listeners who really
did not know if they were fans or not, Journey collapsed under all of
the critique and baggage of popularity.
The band was gone for years. It was gone for more years. Then one day
they came back. But, just like always they evolved again. This time
Steve Perry had been replaced with Kevin Chalfant, Gregg Rolie came
back as an addional keyboardist and singer. The people who created
silvery circle things called compact disks (which replaced vinyl
records by this time) said they wanted the version of Journey that was
most popular. So, Journey evolved again back to their lineup of the
most popular era.
This reunion had mixed results. Yes, some new Journey songs were heard
on the radio. Yes, many people bought the silvery circles. However,
the overall success and satisfaction of the fans did not equal their
last album and the band did not perform live.
so, Journey evolved yet again. Steve Perry could no longer be in the
band because his hip was no longer able to tour. It went on vacation
and never came back. So, Journey replaced Steve Perry with Steve
Augeri.
Again, this was regarded as a bad move by some people. Steve Perry,
however, was a part of Journey during their most popular time. So,
many more fans moved into becoming critics. But, they were a different
type of critic. They did not care if they were paid and they still
considered themselves Journey fans. They were fan-critics.
Fan-critics had found a new outlet for their critiques. They could
display their critical thoughts using a computer. Since computers and
the Internet had evolved to a point where a thirteen year old could
(and DO) use them, any fan-critic could instantly post their thoughts
all around the world. The fan-critics would go about the internet and
post their critics of Journey. Sometimes they would even use quotes
of the old-school critics as 'evidence' to validate their opinions.
Still, fans continued to pay money to see Journey perform live. This
inspired Journey to create new silvery disks filled with new songs.
The fans liked it. The fan-critics and the critics did not, of
course.
Another group emerged from the Journey fans. This group was tired of
the constant critique of Journey and decided to fight back and be
Journey defenders. They used the words of the old-school critics in
defense of what the fan-critics were saying. They even critiqued Steve
Perry just as much as the fan-critics critiqued Journey. In fact,
some of them became fan-critics themselves. but instead of critiquing
Journey, they critiqued Steve Perry. In reaction to this, Steve Perry
defenders emerged.
After a time of the Journey defenders and Steve Perry fan-critics
battling the Steve Perry defenders and Journey fan-critics, yet
another group emerged. These people had a "I don't give a smeg"
attitude. They were tired of the critiquing of this and that and
everything else. So, they stopped visiting the internet sites where
such discussion was taking place and instead went about their own
business of going to concerts or listening to their silvery circles.
In the end, the only fans who were truly happy were the "I don't give
a smeg" fans. Everybody else: the defenders, the fan-critics, and the
critics were all grumpy and irritated and generally were no fun to be
around.