A song I wrote in the bathroom just a minute ago.

[The Sushi Hunter]

I used to buck the toilet lid system when I was a kid growing up. I refused to lift the seat, thinking with enough practice I could do it without getting any on the seat. It took me years to realize that accomplishing that is impossible. Now however, I’m completely the opposite and I go through great lengths to keep the pot in check. My wife on the other hand is the bad one. She leaves the lid up when the pot is not in use. That is irritating to me. If it’s not in use, close the lid god damn it! Nothing I hate more about the bathroom is walking in and seeing the fucking lid up. That’s like coming home to an empty home with the lights on. WTF!

The traditional toilets in Japan are awesome. When I first saw them in '86, I was like WTF though. But after utilizing them for a while I actually began to prefer them over the western style while living over there. I used to joke with my friends and say that if you’re dropping a shit while drunk and you happen to miss, you don't have to pick it up, you can just kick it in with your foot.

Japanese made western style toilets are even better then the toilets in America, because the flush knob goes both ways, one way it only slightly flushes until you let off on it for if you take a small piss. If you turn the knob the other way, it flushes with lots of might and then some.

[KenTheDude]

I hate modern toilets with a passion. I think it's a law that new construction has to use toilets that use only 1.6 gallons per flush or something like that to save water. When I moved into our new house last year, I learned to HATE these toilets. If you don't go in just to pee it takes more than one flush to get things down so just how are you saving any water??

[JRNYMAN]

I hate modern toilets with a passion. I think it's a law that new construction has to use toilets that use only 1.6 gallons per flush or something like that to save water. When I moved into our new house last year, I learned to HATE these toilets. If you don't go in just to pee it takes more than one flush to get things down so just how are you saving any water??

There's actually a work-around for this situation - no... really, there is! What you have to do is eat only foods that will irritate your bowels. Then when you have to take a dump, it comes out with so much force (think projectile vomiting... ) that it actually finds its way down the drain without even having to flush. Then, all that's left is the paperwork and a flush and you're all set!

[The Sushi Hunter]

I hate modern toilets with a passion. I think it's a law that new construction has to use toilets that use only 1.6 gallons per flush or something like that to save water. When I moved into our new house last year, I learned to HATE these toilets. If you don't go in just to pee it takes more than one flush to get things down so just how are you saving any water??

You need a Ferguson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IL2YRDzpTL4

[JRNYMAN]

I hate modern toilets with a passion. I think it's a law that new construction has to use toilets that use only 1.6 gallons per flush or something like that to save water. When I moved into our new house last year, I learned to HATE these toilets. If you don't go in just to pee it takes more than one flush to get things down so just how are you saving any water??

You need a Ferguson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IL2YRDzpTL4

Meh.... the Ferguson is okay but what would be really nice is if they made one that: has a bidet, an integrated dryer, a seat warmer, warms your feet, has an integrated radio as well as a dock for your MP3 player, has illuminated panels, deodorizer, motion activated lid and seat and comes in at just under $6,500! Wait! They do.... Ladies and Gentlemen behold the new Kohler Numi......
http://www.kohler.com/numi/#video.html

Coincidentally, you can purchase one from Ferguson Bath & Kitchen Supply!
http://www.ferguson.com/

[The Sushi Hunter]

Nah, I think all Ken the Dude wants is one that flushes in one mighty unapologetic flush.

[JRNYMAN]

Nah, I think all Ken the Dude wants is one that flushes in one mighty unapologetic flush.

Ahhhhhhh.... then he wants this one! Yup, this one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZeSxGYCDTk

[Rick]

Nah, I think all Ken the Dude wants is one that flushes in one mighty unapologetic flush.

Ahhhhhhh.... then he wants this one! Yup, this one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZeSxGYCDTk

I've never tried all that in my toilet, but mine looks just like that one, with the big egg shaped bowl, and high up off the floor. I hate the ones with shallow bowls and don't sit up high enough. Not sure what brand mine is, but I think it's Crane.

[StevePerryHair]

Wow, this place has really gone to the shitter.....

[Rick]

Wow, this place has really gone to the shitter.....

See, I try to take a break from everything electronic, and this is what happens.

[StevePerryHair]

Wow, this place has really gone to the shitter.....

See, I try to take a break from everything electronic, and this is what happens.

All of the sudden it makes you aware of your "surroundings"?

[Rick]

Wow, this place has really gone to the shitter.....

See, I try to take a break from everything electronic, and this is what happens.

All of the sudden it makes you aware of your "surroundings"?

That must be it!

[JRNYMAN]

Wow, this place has really gone to the shitter.....

See, I try to take a break from everything electronic, and this is what happens.

All of the sudden it makes you aware of your "surroundings"?

Really smells like somebody stepped in it! those kinds of comments are making me feel like shit! Who shit in your Wheaties?

[Andrew]

Don't ever try a pulic toilet in Denpasar, Indonesia - hole in the ground with a bucket and a sponge (should you require).

[JRNYMAN]

Don't ever try a pulic toilet in Denpasar, Indonesia - hole in the ground with a bucket and a sponge (should you require).

Niiiicce!!!

[Moon Beam]

My wife on the other hand is the bad one. She leaves the lid up when the pot is not in use. That is irritating to me. If it’s not in use, close the lid god damn it! Nothing I hate more about the bathroom is walking in and seeing the fucking lid up. That’s like coming home to an empty home with the lights on. WTF!

You're not right in the head are ya Mr Hunter?
I'd say she's being considerate of your needs, IDK, maybe I read it wrongly.

[The Sushi Hunter]

Maybe I wasn't being clear. She keeps the seat down but the lid up when its not in use. I want the entire thing closed down when its not in use.

As for other style toilets mentioned, I actually like the Filipino style way of doing this type of business. You see, they don't use toilet paper but they have these large and smaller buckets that they use to wash up after the operation. Living there I got quite accustom to doing it that way. No tp expenses plus never any skid marks in the drawers.

Yeah, this thread seems to have gone to pot.

[StevePerryHair]

Maybe I wasn't being clear. She keeps the seat down but the lid up when its not in use. I want the entire thing closed down when its not in use.

As for other style toilets mentioned, I actually like the Filipino style way of doing this type of business. You see, they don't use toilet paper but they have these large and smaller buckets that they use to wash up after the operation. Living there I got quite accustom to doing it that way. No tp expenses plus never any skid marks in the drawers.

Yeah, this thread seems to have gone to pot.

Ok, are they sharing water in these buckets to clean up? Because if so, I may vomit right now!!!

[The Sushi Hunter]

Maybe I wasn't being clear. She keeps the seat down but the lid up when its not in use. I want the entire thing closed down when its not in use.

As for other style toilets mentioned, I actually like the Filipino style way of doing this type of business. You see, they don't use toilet paper but they have these large and smaller buckets that they use to wash up after the operation. Living there I got quite accustom to doing it that way. No tp expenses plus never any skid marks in the drawers.

Yeah, this thread seems to have gone to pot.

Ok, are they sharing water in these buckets to clean up? Because if so, I may vomit right now!!!

No, how it works is, you have one large bucket with fresh water. You use the smaller hand bucket to get water out of the larger bucket to clean yourself with. The water is not recycled and no "dirt" as they call it over there, gets in either of the buckets. The used water goes down the dran. Very clean and never any change of getting those frustrating skid marks or tp cling-ons. I was over there for a year and did it that way up in Illocos-sur & norte

Go on to the AP website forum and ask around on there, I'm sure the Filipino's will fill you in on it.

[StevePerryHair]

Maybe I wasn't being clear. She keeps the seat down but the lid up when its not in use. I want the entire thing closed down when its not in use.

As for other style toilets mentioned, I actually like the Filipino style way of doing this type of business. You see, they don't use toilet paper but they have these large and smaller buckets that they use to wash up after the operation. Living there I got quite accustom to doing it that way. No tp expenses plus never any skid marks in the drawers.

Yeah, this thread seems to have gone to pot.

Ok, are they sharing water in these buckets to clean up? Because if so, I may vomit right now!!!

No, how it works is, you have one large bucket with fresh water. You use the smaller hand bucket to get water out of the larger bucket to clean yourself with. The water is not recycled and no "dirt" as they call it over there, gets in either of the buckets. The used water goes down the dran. Very clean and never any change of getting those frustrating skid marks or tp cling-ons. I was over there for a year and did it that way up in Illocos-sur & norte

Go on to the AP website forum and ask around on there, I'm sure the Filipino's will fill you in on it.

Ok, and who sanitizes these little buckets in between use?? And what are you using to wipe yourself with the water in the little bucket? Something disposable? Or sanitized between use?

[The Sushi Hunter]

It's just like taking a "bath" below the waist with fresh water and soap is all. One hand your touching the smaller bucket, the other hand your washing up. You dry off with a towel.

[Deb]

I guess if you wiped yourself properly in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry about skidmarks or having to take a bath everytime you went to the bathroom.

I don't know what it is, but I'm thinking most mothers will tell you for the most part it's little Tommy's drawers that have the skid marks, not little Tammy's. LOL I don't know whether it's laziness or that guy's just don't care and scratch their ass more.

LMAO, only on MR will you find an ongoing thread about wiping your ass!? I can just image what stories Deano would have been sharing in this thread. Too funny, look what you started Rick.

[The Sushi Hunter]

I guess if you wiped yourself properly in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry about skidmarks or having to take a bath everytime you went to the bathroom.

I don't know what it is, but I'm thinking most mothers will tell you for the most part it's little Tommy's drawers that have the skid marks, not little Tammy's. LOL I don't know whether it's laziness or that guy's just don't care and scratch their ass more.

LMAO, only on MR will you find an ongoing thread about wiping your ass!? I can just image what stories Deano would have been sharing in this thread. Too funny, look what you started Rick.

Hairy assholes is a problem, because if you don't wipe enough, you get the skids, you wipe too much with tp, you tend to end up with the frustrating cling-ons. I'll stick to the Philippines style and eliminate it all. Guys have more hair in general so maybe that's why the dudes have the skids while the chicks not so much.

[StevePerryHair]

It's just like taking a "bath" below the waist with fresh water and soap is all. One hand your touching the smaller bucket, the other hand your washing up. You dry off with a towel.

Are you splashing the water? Or wiping with your hand? There are just so many unsanitary things about that. I mean in public restrooms too? Or private? Sorry, I have worked in a microbiology lab, and I know what grows from shit!

[StevePerryHair]

I guess if you wiped yourself properly in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry about skidmarks or having to take a bath everytime you went to the bathroom.

I don't know what it is, but I'm thinking most mothers will tell you for the most part it's little Tommy's drawers that have the skid marks, not little Tammy's. LOL I don't know whether it's laziness or that guy's just don't care and scratch their ass more.

LMAO, only on MR will you find an ongoing thread about wiping your ass!? I can just image what stories Deano would have been sharing in this thread. Too funny, look what you started Rick.

Hairy assholes is a problem, because if you don't wipe enough, you get the skids, you wipe too much with tp, you tend to end up with the frustrating cling-ons. I'll stick to the Philippines style and eliminate it all. Guys have more hair in general so maybe that's why the dudes have the skids while the chicks not so much.

You know they sell flushable wet wipes...old people especially need them...much more sanitary and since you seem to have a skid problem, this would fix it in a less gross way.

[The Sushi Hunter]

I guess if you wiped yourself properly in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry about skidmarks or having to take a bath everytime you went to the bathroom.

I don't know what it is, but I'm thinking most mothers will tell you for the most part it's little Tommy's drawers that have the skid marks, not little Tammy's. LOL I don't know whether it's laziness or that guy's just don't care and scratch their ass more.

LMAO, only on MR will you find an ongoing thread about wiping your ass!? I can just image what stories Deano would have been sharing in this thread. Too funny, look what you started Rick.

Hairy assholes is a problem, because if you don't wipe enough, you get the skids, you wipe too much with tp, you tend to end up with the frustrating cling-ons. I'll stick to the Philippines style and eliminate it all. Guys have more hair in general so maybe that's why the dudes have the skids while the chicks not so much.

You know they sell flushable wet wipes...old people especially need them...much more sanitary and since you seem to have a skid problem, this would fix it in a less gross way.

I don't have a skid problem, I'm just filling you in on all the benefits, depending on the person. I guarrentee you that doing it the Philippines way is way more sanitary and cleaner than doing it with buttwipe on every type of ass across the board hands down.

[StevePerryHair]

I guess if you wiped yourself properly in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry about skidmarks or having to take a bath everytime you went to the bathroom.

I don't know what it is, but I'm thinking most mothers will tell you for the most part it's little Tommy's drawers that have the skid marks, not little Tammy's. LOL I don't know whether it's laziness or that guy's just don't care and scratch their ass more.

LMAO, only on MR will you find an ongoing thread about wiping your ass!? I can just image what stories Deano would have been sharing in this thread. Too funny, look what you started Rick.

Hairy assholes is a problem, because if you don't wipe enough, you get the skids, you wipe too much with tp, you tend to end up with the frustrating cling-ons. I'll stick to the Philippines style and eliminate it all. Guys have more hair in general so maybe that's why the dudes have the skids while the chicks not so much.

You know they sell flushable wet wipes...old people especially need them...much more sanitary and since you seem to have a skid problem, this would fix it in a less gross way.

I don't have a skid problem, I'm just filling you in on all the benefits, depending on the person. I guarrentee you that doing it the Philippines way is way more sanitary and cleaner than doing it with buttwipe on every type of ass across the board hands down.

I 100% DOUBT that. Not if youre sharing buckets with rags or sponges? Or using your hand? In a public bathroom? At home, if it's that bad a dump, why not take a quick shower. I mean yuck!

[StevePerryHair]

Something is starting to make sense now. Custodial workers at Disney World complain all the time about foreigners, and how they find shit on the floor, the walls, smeared on seats.... and I always thought they were just rude foreigners. But maybe it's just these foreign people visiting each day are just toilet paper challenged! It all makes sense now!!!

[StevePerryHair]

Hold on, wasn't this thread about Ricks little dick..er big belly? How in the hell did we get here?

Rick, can you think up some more lyrics for this shit?

As I said... it's gone to the shitter

[Michigan Girl]

This thread was starting to make me gag ...but this shits funny ...

Hold on, wasn't this thread about Ricks little dick..er big belly? How in the hell did we get here?

Rick, can you think up some more lyrics for this shit?

Something is starting to make sense now. Custodial workers at Disney World complain all the time about foreigners, and how they find shit on the floor, the walls, smeared on seats.... and I always thought they were just rude foreigners. But maybe it's just these foreign people visiting each day are just toilet paper challenged! It all makes sense now!!!