What would you do?

by **Journey Mom** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:37 am

Against my wishes, my mother let my son take her car to school with him. At the moment, he's failing 2 of his classes. Despite this, he's decided it's better to leave campus every weekend and go visit his friends at other schools to party instead of doing his schoolwork. The icing on the cake was him calling me at work this morning to tell me he had gotten another speeding ticket. I don't even want to talk to him right now, because I'm so angry. I don't want him to take the car back with him after his spring break, which starts next weekend. My mother doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with this and is giving me grief about the whole car issue. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Am I wrong to thing he doesn't deserve to have a car at school?

by **slucero** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:03 pm

Who's kid is he?

If he's under 18, he's your responsibility, not you mom's...

If he's over 18 and living under your roof, and/or you are paying for his education... then it's your way or the highway.

by **Rick** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:07 pm

Journey Mom wrote:Against my wishes, my mother let my son take her car to school with him. At the moment, he's failing 2 of his classes. Despite this, he's decided it's better to leave campus every weekend and go visit his friends at other schools to party instead of doing his schoolwork. The icing on the cake was him calling me at work this morning to tell me he had gotten another speeding ticket. I don't even want to talk to him right now, because I'm so angry. I don't want him to take the car back with him after his spring break, which starts next weekend. My mother doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with this and is giving me grief about the whole car issue. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Am I wrong to thing he doesn't deserve to have a car at school?

Not if he's not going to use it responsibly. I know that's a lot to ask of kids, but he needs to understand and appreciate the privilege he is afforded by first, being able to go to college, and second, that someone is letting hims use a car. If he can't repay both by, at least, getting passing grades, and using the car responsibly, then absolutely take it away. Make him come home for a semester, too. Remind him that he's not down there to party and drive too fast, he's down there to get an education, and use the car toward that means.

by **Liam** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:09 pm

2 words: BOOT CAMP. :twisted:

by **Memorex** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:33 pm

When I started driving, I racked up speeding tickets like there was no tomorrow. Still at home. I was paying my own gas and insurance, so my mom's attitude was fine, you pay it all and do what you want. And I did.

Fast forward a few years to my son driving. He got a speeding ticket and I took the car away for a month. He asked me why I was being so cruel when I had so many tickets near his age. I said cause if my mom had of done something about it, I never would have gotten the second one.

If you are paying his insurance or helping him financially in any way, take the car. It comes down to the fact that if someone is supporting you, you should not be doing things that waste yours or their money.

You have a gut feeling about all of this and it's your kid. Do what you know is right and save you both money and potentially his grades and life.

by **Journey Mom** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:57 pm

He's 22. I was hoping he would have developed some sort of common sense by now, but that obviously hasn't happened. This is his second speeding ticket. I pay for his insurance, so I may very well use that trump card on him. He knows how angry I am with him. That alone may have him peeing in his pants. I made it clear that he better get off his ass and get his act in gear. We'll see what happens.

by **Memorex** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 1:37 pm

That's why I like being a grandfather. All the good stuff and none of the being pissed off. And if she does does do something that makes me mad, I just get mad at my daughter, not her.

by **yulog** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 8:36 pm

Father figure needed. :idea:

by **scarygirl** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 2:20 am

Memorex wrote:That's why I like being a grandfather. All the good stuff and none of the being pissed off. And if she does does do something that makes me mad, I just get mad at my daughter, not her.

I would make him get his own car and own insurance. If he has a major accident the owner of the car could be held legally liable.

by **RPM** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:03 am

scarygirl wrote:
Memorex wrote:That's why I like being a grandfather. All the good stuff and none of the being pissed off. And if she does does do something that makes me mad, I just get mad at my daughter, not her.

I would make him get his own car and own insurance. If he has a major accident the owner of the car could be held legally liable.

Exactly. I helped my two boys, helped them to find jobs and pay there way like I did. Now while they were working and saving
I did let them use my work car for dates until they saved enough. but bad grades or other misdeeds cost them driving PRIVILEGES.

by **The Sushi Hunter** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 5:37 am

What would you do?

Not allow grandma to be spoiling him anymore.

MR

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