Helping one of the Forum Members...?

[G.I.Jim]

Wait a sec...
NOBODY thought "this will solve the dude's problems". Not once was that mentioned or thought of, so I don't know what the hell you're talking about- that's the second time someone's mentioned that. It was more like "Hey, I can help out someone I know... or spend the money on something I don't need." Big deal, it's $100.00, not that much, but it might help the guy out. I had the money, so I helped him out. I'm not bitching about it. I'm not asking for it back. At the time he asked, he didn't have a place to go. That changed. That's Good. I've had decent conversations with Everett over the years, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt... as I would for most people here, except a few who clearly would never help anybody out if they asked.
Sometimes things work out the way you think they will, sometimes they don't. I'm not losing sleep over it. I'm more disappointed that people think this is some kind of vindication of not helping someone out. I hope you guys never need any kind of assistance.

Might be a good time to close the thread.

Agreed. And I applaud you guys for helping him. I know that the money was given unconditionally by all. The only reason I posted what I did, is because I couldn't (in good conscience) let other people send him money after him posting about going to a festival. I wish you the best Everett, and I hope your situation turns around. You're the only person that can do that though.

[Melissa]

I think it's fine to question what was really happening. I was told the other member that told ME they were "homeless" just months ago was on FB mentioning getting VIP tickets for MR fest, so yeah, it is kind of crappy to hear about stuff like that after a person told you they're homeless yet somehow miraculously can afford hundreds of dollars for travel and a fest. I've wondered what the protocol is for running into someone like that in person again, such as "Gee, things really turned around fast for your supposed homeless self didn't they?". Not trying to sound mean, I have and will help people in a heartbeat, but this kind of stuff is crap, sorry. The LAST thing I'd be doing if truly down and out like that would be on the internet playing around AND talking about attending things I have no business attending if I had no money and no job.

[Moon Beam]

I hope you guys never need any kind of assistance.

I'll hope for the same.
You did a wonderful thing brywool.
We are here to help each other whenever we can, well that's what I believe we were created for.
The kindness you've shown should be served with sweet say so's.
May your day be a dandy one!

[artist4perry]

GI think about the fact that maybe Everett has not had the upbringing you have had and does not have a total grip on finances and how to spend them. Did you talk to him in a PM first about your concerns? I would hope you would if it were me you were upset with.

Everett a bit of advice. Don't discuss your finances or expenditures on Facebook. If you are going to accept help from friends they won't be your friends long if they feel you are spending on anything but necessities. They might have just sent you their last 10 bucks and they needed that money themselves, but chose to help you out first. If you accept money be able to accept criticism over every dime you talk about spending. You make your friends your stewards when you accept their money. I don't take money from friends...it is a good way to lose friends. Just advice I give my own 22 year old son who is going to be embarking out on living on his own this coming Monday. We take care of situations inside of our family.

Brywool is a sweetheart and a wonderful friend, you did no wrong but you opened up your wallet and heart and there is no wrong or shame in doing that.

Not one of you were forced to give. I didn't because I cannot right now. Some of you may be skeptical over Everett's motives and again you have no one with a gun in your back making you give.

I don't think Everett was trying to be a mooch. I think he was scared and desperate. Maybe he is not a financial wizard but heck how many of us were at a young age? Good finances are taught and learned. Situations can also be a factor.
Everett I think most are trying to help you but delete the money discussions on your Facebook and keep it out of the public view.

[Melissa]

Just because people may be concerned, after being seriously burned before, doesn't make them non-"sweethearts" or lesser people. You don't know what the rest of us HAVE done to help others on this forum already that was TRUE help, so be careful with the lectures.

[Memorex]

Kind of mixed feelings for me but kind of not. I wasn't emotionally attached to this situation or the money I gave. No part of me thought this would turn some guys life around by any means, but even for the unmotivated, it's a nice thought when you know people helped and people do care and that if you are in the right space, or even near it, you can help people too.

I've been guilty of spending money on stupid stuff when I didn't have it. Maybe never someone else's money, but...

I've made bad decisions my whole life. Usually the fault of not wanting to hurt others or not wanting to appear selfish or whatever. That will bring a lot of misery to a person. But there are times you just have to taker stock and decide what changes are required to turn it all around. Not little things. Big, sweeping changes. Shake up your life changes.

I don't know Everett wouldn't presume to give him one ounce of advice, other than whatever it is you can learn from this experience, don't let that get lost. Tuck it away and use it as needed. Seems to me you, like many of us at times, have settled for something that is just good enough to get by. One day you just have to say fuck that, that's not good enough.

When I first read about the festival, I was thinking of the Two and a Half men show where Charlie gives Alan money and Alan uses it to go on vacation.

Everett - I really thought about it and was a little surprised at how little I cared about the Festival thing. After thinking it through, I realize the money was never meant to turn your life around. It was to relieve whatever scary stress you were going through at that time (self-imposed or not). If the money helps getting a little food and you spend the rest throwing back some beers and enjoying an evening of music, well then I guess that gives you that for that moment and I'm fine with it. That said, if this came back around, I'd be far less inclined to help again, especially if I had better things to do with it. And that's where you start to lose resources and it sounds like you can't afford to lose any at this point.

[Everett]

Wait a sec...
NOBODY thought "this will solve the dude's problems". Not once was that mentioned or thought of, so I don't know what the hell you're talking about- that's the second time someone's mentioned that. It was more like "Hey, I can help out someone I know... or spend the money on something I don't need." Big deal, it's $100.00, not that much, but it might help the guy out. I had the money, so I helped him out. I'm not bitching about it. I'm not asking for it back. At the time he asked, he didn't have a place to go. That changed. That's Good. I've had decent conversations with Everett over the years, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt... as I would for most people here, except a few who clearly would never help anybody out if they asked.
Sometimes things work out the way you think they will, sometimes they don't. I'm not losing sleep over it. I'm more disappointed that people think this is some kind of vindication of not helping someone out. I hope you guys never need any kind of assistance.

Might be a good time to close the thread.

Agreed. And I applaud you guys for helping him. I know that the money was given unconditionally by all. The only reason I posted what I did, is because I couldn't (in good conscience) let other people send him money after him posting about going to a festival. I wish you the best Everett, and I hope your situation turns around. You're the only person that can do that though.

Again jim i never said i was actually going. I was just excited that i got the e mail from the venue about who was headlining at
that stage. You mean to tell me that has never happened to you? It's not like i said "alright the tickets go on sale next
week can't wait to pick um up". Again jim i get where your coming from and i appreciate your protectiveness of the
others. I just wish you would've waited and talked to me personally for clarification before all this mess happened.
I don't appreciate seeing my fb posts (some intended to be private to a friend) in a public forum but i guess that's what happens. Sorry bry for getting you involved in all this.

[G.I.Jim]

GI think about the fact that maybe Everett has not had the upbringing you have had and does not have a total grip on finances and how to spend them. Did you talk to him in a PM first about your concerns? I would hope you would if it were me you were upset with.

Everett a bit of advice. Don't discuss your finances or expenditures on Facebook. If you are going to accept help from friends they won't be your friends long if they feel you are spending on anything but necessities. They might have just sent you their last 10 bucks and they needed that money themselves, but chose to help you out first. If you accept money be able to accept criticism over every dime you talk about spending. You make your friends your stewards when you accept their money. I don't take money from friends...it is a good way to lose friends. Just advice I give my own 22 year old son who is going to be embarking out on living on his own this coming Monday. We take care of situations inside of our family.

Brywool is a sweetheart and a wonderful friend, you did no wrong but you opened up your wallet and heart and there is no wrong or shame in doing that.

Not one of you were forced to give. I didn't because I cannot right now. Some of you may be skeptical over Everett's motives and again you have no one with a gun in your back making you give.

I don't think Everett was trying to be a mooch. I think he was scared and desperate. Maybe he is not a financial wizard but heck how many of us were at a young age? Good finances are taught and learned. Situations can also be a factor.
Everett I think most are trying to help you but delete the money discussions on your Facebook and keep it out of the public view.

I did send him a PM Ginger, and he told me he had no intention of going. That completely contradicts the whole point he posted about being so excited about the festival. If you're not going, why post about how it made your day that tickets went on sale? It doesn't add up. For those that gave, again... you have big hearts. I've helped people in the past and have REALLY been burned. I loaned my Brother-In-Law $2100 and ended up getting back about $700. I didn't want anything to do with him for a couple of years after that, and our friendship will never be like it was. All because he broke my trust and lied to me over money.

Like I said before Ginger, I posted about it here because I didn't want others to get burned by giving him money without knowing what I knew. If you know the facts and still want to give him some beer money, there's no harm in that. It's your money. I just couldn't sit by idly and not say anything. I would have been just as guilty.

[verslibre]

Just say "no" to Facebook.

[Melissa]

My motto is to never give money to someone on the Internet.

A great motto of course, but when you've met people and had seemingly fine conversations with them for a few years and then they claim they need help like this and you consider them a friend then it's a little different. I believed the person wholeheartedly and was genuinely worried for their safety AND health with all the stuff they claimed to be happening. Lesson learned of course.

[artist4perry]

Melissa I meant no slam to you at all. Nor did I really mean to slam anyone. I said I understand if someone does not feel O.K. to give due to their own reasons. This would include being burned. I have also been burned before. But one thing I do know about giving...if you give and the other person is a fraud then shame on them...there is no shame on the giver, nor the gift. They still did a good deed.

I meant no lectures, just was discussing my take on it the same as you discussed your take on it.

I do know there are unscrupulous people out there, and I do understand GI was trying to help everyone too. GI is a friend of mine and I know his heart is in the right place.

I just feel bad for Brywool who had the best of intentions turned into all this. He just tried to do a good deed. Everett you owe him big time. Now that was a lecture.

[Don]

I hope you guys never need any kind of assistance.

Who's to say that many people here haven't been in dire straights? A lot of folk handle their problems discreetly; Just because they don't tin can people on social networks doesn't mean that every thing is always rosy.

Melissa and others here have been burned by "doing the decent thing." Just because there aren't threads out there doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of back door begging and swindling going on through PMs and email.

Forums are a great place to dupe people because there is no accountability. Cons only get caught when they do stupid shit but for the most part, I'm sure quite a few members here have been taken advantage of through the years.

The whole "We're a family here" line doesn't wash. You're dealing with a lot of people who live through the anonymity of their screen name. What kind of family is that? Do we have similar interests? For sure, that's why we are here BUT if you haven't been in the physical presence of some of these people don't just assume that they would really be your friend or even give a shit about you in the REAL world.
And even when you do meet them in the "real world", like everything in life you can still get fucked over by being generous to a fault. We've all probably been down that road too once or twice in our lives.

[Marabelle]

I've learned time and again that there are two groups of people that I would give my hard earned money to: the first group would be those ne'er do well friends who are always in a bind and hardly ever mostly never will give you the money back and always has excuses why they can't; any money given to them is just that...money given away without any expectation of getting it back. It is a gift without any kind of condition. If it's $10 or $100 I expect never to see that money again. It's like the homeless man in the street. You give and if he gets up and leaves in a Mercedes; well, then that is what he does. But again the money was given without expectation of it ever being returned. A gift.

Really, did anyone ever think this man was going to re pay all who helped him out of his situation! Maybe he is a good guy or maybe he isn't; but it's your money and you decide what you're going to do with your money. You decide how much you can afford never to see again.

The second group of people might be people who are honest, up front, forthright, genuinely in a bind and oops...they are in dire need of financial help and the bank has turned them down and they have no one else they can turn to in this situation. Well, I know life is hard but this time; out comes the personal loan obligation and interest rate formula. It's not that I don't trust you, but I don't trust you will return my money as easy as it was for you to borrow it from me and it's never more than $200. We remains friends and no hard feelings because perhaps they never can pay it back and I'm out of $200. Well then it becomes a gift and I'm still not out of a lot of money but perhaps have lost a friend.

[artist4perry]

GI think about the fact that maybe Everett has not had the upbringing you have had and does not have a total grip on finances and how to spend them. Did you talk to him in a PM first about your concerns? I would hope you would if it were me you were upset with.

Everett a bit of advice. Don't discuss your finances or expenditures on Facebook. If you are going to accept help from friends they won't be your friends long if they feel you are spending on anything but necessities. They might have just sent you their last 10 bucks and they needed that money themselves, but chose to help you out first. If you accept money be able to accept criticism over every dime you talk about spending. You make your friends your stewards when you accept their money. I don't take money from friends...it is a good way to lose friends. Just advice I give my own 22 year old son who is going to be embarking out on living on his own this coming Monday. We take care of situations inside of our family.

Brywool is a sweetheart and a wonderful friend, you did no wrong but you opened up your wallet and heart and there is no wrong or shame in doing that.

Not one of you were forced to give. I didn't because I cannot right now. Some of you may be skeptical over Everett's motives and again you have no one with a gun in your back making you give.

I don't think Everett was trying to be a mooch. I think he was scared and desperate. Maybe he is not a financial wizard but heck how many of us were at a young age? Good finances are taught and learned. Situations can also be a factor.
Everett I think most are trying to help you but delete the money discussions on your Facebook and keep it out of the public view.

I did send him a PM Ginger, and he told me he had no intention of going. That completely contradicts the whole point he posted about being so excited about the festival. If you're not going, why post about how it made your day that tickets went on sale? It doesn't add up. For those that gave, again... you have big hearts. I've helped people in the past and have REALLY been burned. I loaned my Brother-In-Law $2100 and ended up getting back about $700. I didn't want anything to do with him for a couple of years after that, and our friendship will never be like it was. All because he broke my trust and lied to me over money.

Like I said before Ginger, I posted about it here because I didn't want others to get burned by giving him money without knowing what I knew. If you know the facts and still want to give him some beer money, there's no harm in that. It's your money. I just couldn't sit by idly and not say anything. I would have been just as guilty.

I do understand that GI. And I am glad you tried to reach out to him privately first too. I am sorry for not assuming you already did that. I do think both you and Wooley have the biggest hearts in the world. Both of you are trying to do the best for your friends here. That is something I love dearly about you both.

Melissa I am sure that the person you helped in the past will get theirs some day. You burn your bridges when you do others who have dealt kindness to you with evil. The thing is you also must have a good heart to have tried to help that person. Sometimes you live and learn. It is hard to know who to help unless you know that person's situation inside out. I tend to help those whom I know the whole situation, ones who would never ask for a dime for the most part. It is up to each individual to give when and where they see fit. Giving is a personal thing.

[Melissa]

I understand your points too Ginger and thanks. My very career is helping others and I absolutely love it. I just didn't feel like keeping quiet about stuff like this, people who ARE out there that take advantage of other people's good hearts good intentions.

[scarygirl]

Lady, you are so wise. It has been honor chatting with you over the years!

I've learned time and again that there are two groups of people that I would give my hard earned money to: the first group would be those ne'er do well friends who are always in a bind and hardly ever mostly never will give you the money back and always has excuses why they can't; any money given to them is just that...money given away without any expectation of getting it back. It is a gift without any kind of condition. If it's $10 or $100 I expect never to see that money again. It's like the homeless man in the street. You give and if he gets up and leaves in a Mercedes; well, then that is what he does. But again the money was given without expectation of it ever being returned. A gift.

Really, did anyone ever think this man was going to re pay all who helped him out of his situation! Maybe he is a good guy or maybe he isn't; but it's your money and you decide what you're going to do with your money. You decide how much you can afford never to see again.

The second group of people might be people who are honest, up front, forthright, genuinely in a bind and oops...they are in dire need of financial help and the bank has turned them down and they have no one else they can turn to in this situation. Well, I know life is hard but this time; out comes the personal loan obligation and interest rate formula. It's not that I don't trust you, but I don't trust you will return my money as easy as it was for you to borrow it from me and it's never more than $200. We remains friends and no hard feelings because perhaps they never can pay it back and I'm out of $200. Well then it becomes a gift and I'm still not out of a lot of money but perhaps have lost a friend.

[AR]

Would someone like to sum this up? I'm not going through 5 pages.

[scarygirl]

That tells you too that there are still some honest people in the world. Wouldn't have taken much for someone to run off with his change when no one was looking.

I bet your wife was embarrassed though...

Speaking of the homeless man in the street...a little story.

Last summer we went to a Reds baseball game. As we were approaching the stadium I can see a "homeless" man sitting on the sidewalk of the pedestrian bridge up ahead. While walking I can see people dropping change and bills into the dudes little box. As we got nearer I could that Mr. Homeless Will Work for Food Man is fast asleep. My wife reaches for her change and says " awe, poor guy"'...right as we got there and she dropped her change into his box I YELLED "WAKE UP WAKE UP!!! Dude looks up at me and I told him "hey, no sleeping on the job if you want my money". My embarrassed wife thinks I am a dickhead while others around me are nodding in agreement. If the dude had been awake and playing a guitar or drum or sax or something I would have helped him out, but sleeping on the street and people still give you money had me perplexed. I wouldn't do it. At least stay awake when you beg.

[artist4perry]

I understand your points too Ginger and thanks. My very career is helping others and I absolutely love it. I just didn't feel like keeping quiet about stuff like this, people who ARE out there that take advantage of other people's good hearts good intentions.

It is always good to be in a profession to help others, nothing is more rewarding.

I think most everyone here really means well towards Brywool and Everett.

We are kind of a family of sorts I think, but not so much some would not take advantage of good intentions of people. You just have to use your best judgement and follow your gut.

I love the fatherly advice of some of the guys here, and I behaved I guess too much like a bossy mom...sorry Everett, my own son is 22 and about to leave the nest in a day or two. Your not the only one getting advice from me as of late. Understand there is much love behind my words...I do want to help you, even if it is not in a monetary way.

[artist4perry]

Would someone like to sum this up? I'm not going through 5 pages.

Nah, you have to suffer like the rest of us...LOL

[scarygirl]

Would someone like to sum this up? I'm not going through 5 pages.

Nah, you have to suffer like the rest of us...LOL

I like the long threads myself. You got be careful through to not drop your laptop from shock over what is written.

[Don]

Would someone like to sum this up? I'm not going through 5 pages.

Everett asked Brywool for financial assistance. Brywool asked everyone if they wouldn't mind helping out too. Everett's circumstances seemed to have changed rather quickly so no further assistance is deemed necessary.
The end.

[scarygirl]

Would someone like to sum this up? I'm not going through 5 pages.

We are the kings and queens of beating the dead horse. Tune in tomorrow for another 20 page edition of 'As the Melodic Rock Turns." (Cue organ music).

[G.I.Jim]

Would someone like to sum this up? I'm not going through 5 pages.

We are the kings and queens of beating the dead horse. Tune in tomorrow for another 20 page edition of 'As the Melodic Rock Turns." (Cue organ music).

I'm a little rusty but I'll give it a try!

[Archetype]

Let's all just watch this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzBInt4zljQ

[G.I.Jim]

Let's all just watch this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzBInt4zljQ

Very cool video, and it warms the heart. Thanks!

[G.I.Jim]

Let's all just watch this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzBInt4zljQ

So Mayberry R.F.D. is actually in the ole USSR...who knew!

Cool vid...does every Russian own a dash cam and does the State pay for them like Obamaphones?

I was wondering the same thing! Lol!! They're probably monitored by big brother.

[Archetype]

Dash cams are very popular in Russia because of how corrupt the traffic police are and various car insurance scams that are prevalent.

[Angel]

My motto is to never give money to someone on the Internet.

A great motto of course, but when you've met people and had seemingly fine conversations with them for a few years and then they claim they need help like this and you consider them a friend then it's a little different. I believed the person wholeheartedly and was genuinely worried for their safety AND health with all the stuff they claimed to be happening. Lesson learned of course.

I learned the same lesson! I helped someone out to the tune of several hundred dollars only to see pictures of a vacation taken across the country two weeks later. I hope others will learn from the mistakes Melissa & I (& a few others here) have made, although I suspect some here are about to learn their own lessons.....

[The Sushi Hunter]

Well, I've stayed out of this thread after my initial pledge to send some money as I watched this all unfold. I just read something on Facebook that I think is wrong, and can't keep this to myself (sorry Everett). I know that he's going through tough times right now, but even now as people have sent him money from here, he states on FB that he's going to a music festival. WTF??? You're begging people for money, then brag about going to a festival today? That's pretty damn despicable Everett, and I'm highly disappointed in you.

If there's more to this than I know, I apologize for jumping the gun. You did say you don't have to pay for the seats, but you did say you had to pay to get into the festival. There are a lot of great people here on MR with big hearts, and I don't want to see them get taken advantage of.

Even if you have someone else buying your ticket to get in there, it's in pretty poor taste to beg for money (which is what you did on FB), then post about going to a festival. Not cool my friend...

Obviously now that the real story is out, people who donated will most likely think twice about donating again, especially to Everett.