Strypers Michael Sweet marries again... Already?

[Ehwmatt]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

What if he pulled a John Edwards and was bangin her during her chemo? Assuming they discussed his moving on, is this move still kosher then?

[Jana]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone who gave their life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

It has nothing to do with respect. She was dying for 2 years. They had to talk about these things. Whether he'd move on. There's no way they didn't. And she may have given him the peace he needed to do so. Have you ever been married yet Matthew? Have you ever felt what that is like? And she gave her life to him? She married him, til death do us part. And no one is expected to sit and mourn and be sad forever and what if that right person just comes along and what if you miss that chance because in your head it's just "too soon and I need to respect my deceased wife" How sad would that be! I am SURE he made his peace with his wife for him to be able to move into another relationship. I mean to call it "out on the market" You are SUCH A GUY!!! He just met someone, and they clicked, fell in love and they got married. It's not being on the market. A lot of people get married quickly, within months of meeting. He just happened to have lost his wife. And I believe you would feel thay way. And I feel sorry for one of your parents if you are ever in those shoes and you do what you say you will. It will make their lives hard,but guess what, they will still do what THEY need to do for happiness.

Good point, they may have discussed it beforehand. I didn't think of that.

As for the rest of that, you're getting way too riled up because it seems you feel some personal alignment with the situation for whatever reason.

Out on the market is clearly a figure of speech. No, I haven't been married and I will not ever rush into anything. Yes, lots of people get married within months of meeting... including all the celebs we see get divorced within a matter of months/years. Maybe that's why our divorce rate is staggeringly high, huh?

And I can 110% guarantee neither of my parents would marry within any short time of losing the other, if at all, so don't worry about them or me.

You would be surpised to know that just as many people get divorced who dated a long period of time years. I have friends and co-workers and neighbors, relatives, acquaintances who got divorced, and none of them married after only months. And I have a lot of clients who are divorce lawyers, and in all the divorces I take, not one was a quick courtship.

[Ehwmatt]

You would be surpised to know that just as many people get divorced who dated a long period of time years. I have friends and co-workers and neighbors, relatives, acquaintances who got divorced, and none of them married after only months. And I have a lot of clients who are divorce lawyers, and in all the divorces I take, not one was a quick courtship.

I wouldn't be surprised at all, actually.

[StevePerryHair]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

What if he pulled a John Edwards and was bangin her during her chemo? Assuming they discussed his moving on, is this move still kosher then?

First of all, i never judged him either. Go pull a thread and look for me. And an AFFAIR is different than finding someone after a DEATH. They are not the same thing. Why even say this?

[Behshad]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

I didnt say he should care about how it looks to the world,,, but how it looks to his close and loved ones,,, to his wifes parents,, to the people that are around him,.,,,
I dont see ANYTHING wrong with him moving on and finding a new love,,,,I just think the marriage was way too quick,.,,, almost like if he was dating this girl while the wife was dying,,,,

and the day one comes a celebrity, any moves you make will be judged by others,,, some agree with what you do and some dont,,,,, You seem to think that if people dont agree with you, then they dont have a clue

[StevePerryHair]

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

And don't nobody throw that Tiger Woods stuff up as a call-out on passing judgement, either. The guy was found out to making hookup plans with one of those women the same week his wife was going to give birth to his son. I mean come on, apples and oranges here. He's a wormy little shit who publically humiliated his wife and family. Fact.

Yea, great point, you gotta love the people who take "not judging" to its logical extreme and won't "judge" some scumbag who brutalized a family or did what Tiger did.

It's not even about judging in those cases. It's about NOT CARING. He is a freaking celebrity and people put him up on this big pedestal. He is a person. And he did bad things, yes. But what bearing does that have on MY life? None! Thats his personal business to deal with and I dont' need to see it on the news every 5 minutes.

[Melissa]

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

Who says we didn't feel something like that? I understand your point, and others points, truly. The time frame of "a little while" is something that is strictly a matter of opinion and I guarantee the answers for that "time frame" would be all over the place if people were questioned what they feel about this. It's a situation by situation basis. And when kids are very young, it's a completely different world than when they are older or adults. I was 31 and my brother was 27 when our mother died. Our father was 54 and a widower. He stayed completely alone for almost 2 years. Is that enough time? I mean really. And it felt like a lifetime of hell to me, so I know it was way worse for him.

And when he did meet someone, yes of course it was strange, not going to lie. I was a little standoffish from her for a little while, not on purpose, just cautious I guess. And she's a wonderful person. But seeing him reach some peace and not tormented in such extreme pain, seeing him slowly come out of that to the point of being able to just even smile again... well I'm sorry, but there's just no way you can possibly know how you'll feel about things like this until it happens to you. There just isn't.

[Ehwmatt]

First of all, i never judged him either. Go pull a thread and look for me. And an AFFAIR is different than finding someone after a DEATH. They are not the same thing. Why even say this?

I'm just playing devil's advocate here and assuming that possibly the good Lord didn't drop this bundle of beautiful joy into Sweet's lap right away. With that in mind, would the quickness of the marriage still be ok? Or would that taint it a bit?

[Deb]

You would be surpised to know that just as many people get divorced who dated a long period of time years. I have friends and co-workers and neighbors, relatives, acquaintances who got divorced, and none of them married after only months. And I have a lot of clients who are divorce lawyers, and in all the divorces I take, not one was a quick courtship.

Yep. I went out with my exhub for 5 years first, then was married for 18 before divorcing. It happens.

[Behshad]

First of all, i never judged him either. Go pull a thread and look for me. And an AFFAIR is different than finding someone after a DEATH. They are not the same thing. Why even say this?

I'm just playing devil's advocate here and assuming that possibly the good Lord didn't drop this bundle of beautiful joy into Sweet's lap right away. With that in mind, would the quickness of the marriage still be ok? Or would that taint it a bit?

He's right, I did chose him to represent me in the court of law

[bluejeangirl76]

With that in mind, would the quickness of the marriage still be ok? Or would that taint it a bit?

You said 'taint'.

[Behshad]

You would be surpised to know that just as many people get divorced who dated a long period of time years. I have friends and co-workers and neighbors, relatives, acquaintances who got divorced, and none of them married after only months. And I have a lot of clients who are divorce lawyers, and in all the divorces I take, not one was a quick courtship.

Yep. I went out with my exhub for 5 years first, then was married for 18 days before divorcing. It happens.

[StevePerryHair]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

I didnt say he should care about how it looks to the world,,, but how it looks to his close and loved ones,,, to his wifes parents,, to the people that are around him,.,,,
I dont see ANYTHING wrong with him moving on and finding a new love,,,,I just think the marriage was way too quick,.,,, almost like if he was dating this girl while the wife was dying,,,,

and the day one comes a celebrity, any moves you make will be judged by others,,, some agree with what you do and some dont,,,,, You seem to think that if people dont agree with you, then they dont have a clue

My inlaws dated for 3 months and got married their 4th month together... they've been married for 41 years now. They didnt' have a dying spouse.. and wow, they fell in love that QUICK!! Amazing! And how do you know how it looks to his kids and family? They may be happy to see him happy again and maybe, just maybe she is a wonderful woman.

And no, I think you have no clue because you haven't seen a parent lose a spouse through death. It's living hte experience. And if his family is having a hard time, over time they will understand. It takes TIME.

[Ehwmatt]

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

Who says we didn't feel something like that? I understand your point, and others points, truly. The time frame of "a little while" is something that is strictly a matter of opinion and I guarantee the answers for that "time frame" would be all over the place if people were questioned what they feel about this. It's a situation by situation basis. And when kids are very young, it's a completely different world than when they are older or adults. I was 31 and my brother was 27 when our mother died. Our father was 54 and a widower. He stayed completely alone for almost 2 years. Is that enough time? I mean really. And it felt like a lifetime of hell to me, so I know it was way worse for him.

And when he did meet someone, yes of course it was strange, not going to lie. I was a little standoffish from her for a little while, not on purpose, just cautious I guess. And she's a wonderful person. But seeing him reach some peace and not tormented in such extreme pain, seeing him slowly come out of that to the point of being able to just even smile again... well I'm sorry, but there's just no way you can possibly know how you'll feel about things like this until it happens to you. There just isn't.

Right, like I said, you can't arbitrarily denote a time period.

2 years is a while, especially with you guys fully grown.

I'm just VERY hard-pressed to ever think of a situation where it's respectful to be trumpeting your love for someone else all over the Internet 3 months later...

[Ehwmatt]

With that in mind, would the quickness of the marriage still be ok? Or would that taint it a bit?

You said 'taint'.

Hands above the desk please

[Jana]

You would be surpised to know that just as many people get divorced who dated a long period of time years. I have friends and co-workers and neighbors, relatives, acquaintances who got divorced, and none of them married after only months. And I have a lot of clients who are divorce lawyers, and in all the divorces I take, not one was a quick courtship.

I wouldn't be surprised at all, actually.

Well, you said maybe people getting married after knowing each other for only a few months was the reason our divorce rate was staggering, so I was pointing that out.

I'd say the reasons are huge financial difficulty really wears down a marriage. Other reasons are infidelity, marrying young and falling out of love with that person years later but stuck b/c they have children. Many people that leave literally aren't in love anymore but wait until those kids graduate high school, and, bam, an affair starts and they leave or they just leave once their kids are old enough. Alcoholism and/or abusiveness are big reasons I see also.

[bluejeangirl76]

Why are we comparing moving on quickly after death vs. divorce, by the way? Not the same ballpark.

[Behshad]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

I didnt say he should care about how it looks to the world,,, but how it looks to his close and loved ones,,, to his wifes parents,, to the people that are around him,.,,,
I dont see ANYTHING wrong with him moving on and finding a new love,,,,I just think the marriage was way too quick,.,,, almost like if he was dating this girl while the wife was dying,,,,

and the day one comes a celebrity, any moves you make will be judged by others,,, some agree with what you do and some dont,,,,, You seem to think that if people dont agree with you, then they dont have a clue

My inlaws dated for 3 months and got married their 4th month together... they've been married for 41 years now. They didnt' have a dying spouse.. and wow, they fell in love that QUICK!! Amazing! And how do you know how it looks to his kids and family? They may be happy to see him happy again and maybe, just maybe she is a wonderful woman.

And no, I think you have no clue because you haven't seen a parent lose a spouse through death. It's living hte experience. And if his family is having a hard time, over time they will understand. It takes TIME.

That is completely different,,, I never said people should have a set time frame before they get married.,.,... there is no boundies for love,,, some get married in a week , some after years of dating,,,,
I also never said that he doesnt love this new woman, or he should never marry this one,,,,,, It is just not respectful to his wifes family to get remarried this quickly,,,,,,,


I can guarantee you that you wouldve felt totally different had your mom got remarried within a year after your father's passing,.,,,

[Ehwmatt]

My inlaws dated for 3 months and got married their 4th month together... they've been married for 41 years now. They didnt' have a dying spouse.. and wow, they fell in love that QUICK!! Amazing! And how do you know how it looks to his kids and family? They may be happy to see him happy again and maybe, just maybe she is a wonderful woman.

And no, I think you have no clue because you haven't seen a parent lose a spouse through death. It's living hte experience. And if his family is having a hard time, over time they will understand. It takes TIME.

Lynn, I remember you talking about how your parents were saying you were "rushing" into your marriage a few times on here. Between your obviously happy marriage that I'm assuming happened at least relatively fast(???), your inlaws, and perhaps other family/friend experiences, I think you just have a different outlook on the situation.

In my family, none of the marriages resulted from quick courtships. My grandparents on my mom's side were high school sweethearts, but didn't marry til after college. Hell, even my friends who have gotten married have not done so after whirlwind courtships. It just gives you a totally different outlook on the situation. I think you're taking me and B's differences of opinion a little personally. It's nothing personal. It's not fair to say we have no clue.

EDIT: B makes better points above ^^^ It's really about the respect in the wake of death, I've gotten off my original point

[Behshad]

Why are we comparing moving on quickly after death vs. divorce, by the way? Not the same ballpark.

Thank you! Love you!

[Melissa]

Oh and as for people's judgements about grief and the "time" for it... what's "appropriate" to you? Really? MOST people, in my experience, expect it to be pretty short and when you say you feel sadness still, say 4 years later, they say things like "Gee, you're still sad? Didn't you deal with it correctly?" (yes this was something actually said to me). Oh pardon me, I didn't realize there was a time frame. Where's the manual on that, because I sure didn't get one.

So people expect grief to be some simple passage in some certain SHORT time frame, otherwise there's something "wrong" with you if you still miss that person and feel sadness. But then THIS situation comes up with Michael Sweet, and suddenly his time wasn't LONG enough. What gives?

[Deb]

You would be surpised to know that just as many people get divorced who dated a long period of time years. I have friends and co-workers and neighbors, relatives, acquaintances who got divorced, and none of them married after only months. And I have a lot of clients who are divorce lawyers, and in all the divorces I take, not one was a quick courtship.

Yep. I went out with my exhub for 5 years first, then was married for 18 days before divorcing. It happens.

LOL, my best friend told me that he'd never grow up, but did I listen, noooooooooo. 23 years later, she may have been right. That same cute party boy personality that I was attracted to when I was 18 wasn't as an attractive of a trait in our 40s. It took over a year after the divorce, but we are great friends now.

[Michigan Girl]

I would think it strange if you didn't experience moments of sadness for the rest of your life...

[StevePerryHair]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

I didnt say he should care about how it looks to the world,,, but how it looks to his close and loved ones,,, to his wifes parents,, to the people that are around him,.,,,
I dont see ANYTHING wrong with him moving on and finding a new love,,,,I just think the marriage was way too quick,.,,, almost like if he was dating this girl while the wife was dying,,,,

and the day one comes a celebrity, any moves you make will be judged by others,,, some agree with what you do and some dont,,,,, You seem to think that if people dont agree with you, then they dont have a clue

My inlaws dated for 3 months and got married their 4th month together... they've been married for 41 years now. They didnt' have a dying spouse.. and wow, they fell in love that QUICK!! Amazing! And how do you know how it looks to his kids and family? They may be happy to see him happy again and maybe, just maybe she is a wonderful woman.

And no, I think you have no clue because you haven't seen a parent lose a spouse through death. It's living hte experience. And if his family is having a hard time, over time they will understand. It takes TIME.

That is completely different,,, I never said people should have a set time frame before they get married.,.,... there is no boundies for love,,, some get married in a week , some after years of dating,,,,
I also never said that he doesnt love this new woman, or he should never marry this one,,,,,, It is just not respectful to his wifes family to get remarried this quickly,,,,,,,


I can guarantee you that you wouldve felt totally different had your mom got remarried within a year after your father's passing,.,,,

I guarantee you that you are wrong. My mom was in so much pain that I cried almost nightly for a year. You have no idea. If she had met kirk in a year or in 5 years I would have been happy for her. And you know, you don't owe your inlaws your happiness. Im very sorry.

[Ehwmatt]

So people expect grief to be some simple passage in some certain SHORT time frame, otherwise there's something "wrong" with you if you still miss that person and feel sadness. But then THIS situation comes up with Michael Sweet, and suddenly his time wasn't LONG enough. What gives?

I never said that. Like I said earlier, my grandmother still grieves 12 years later and my grandfather never got over it in the 9 years he outlived his wife. There is no appropriate time frame.

One should live his/her life and have friends and possibly even date, but to MARRY after such a short time denotes lack of respect to me. My grandfather had a few girlfriends, my grandmother has a male friend she goes to movies with and what not, which is great and arguably vital for them, but to just up and get married so soon? Neither would (have ever in my late grandfather's case) done that. Even if the Sweets discussed his moving on, I find it hard to believe the wife would have been pleased to hear he planned to walk down the aisle less than a year later.

[Behshad]

Oh and as for people's judgements about grief and the "time" for it... what's "appropriate" to you? Really? MOST people, in my experience, expect it to be pretty short and when you say you feel sadness still, say 4 years later, they say things like "Gee, you're still sad? Didn't you deal with it correctly?" (yes this was something actually said to me). Oh pardon me, I didn't realize there was a time frame. Where's the manual on that, because I sure didn't get one.

So people expect grief to be some simple passage in some certain SHORT time frame, otherwise there's something "wrong" with you if you still miss that person and feel sadness. But then THIS situation comes up with Michael Sweet, and suddenly his time wasn't LONG enough. What gives?

no one said he didnt grief long enough..... he will grief for the rest of his life,,,,, he showed lack of respect to his poor wife..... It wouldnt surprise me ONE BIT , if he was doing the other chick while waiting for the wife to pass on....

[Deb]

You would be surpised to know that just as many people get divorced who dated a long period of time years. I have friends and co-workers and neighbors, relatives, acquaintances who got divorced, and none of them married after only months. And I have a lot of clients who are divorce lawyers, and in all the divorces I take, not one was a quick courtship.

Yep. I went out with my exhub for 5 years first, then was married for 18 days before divorcing. It happens.

LOL, my best friend told me that he'd never grow up, but did I listen, noooooooooo. 23 years later, she may have been right. That same cute party boy personality that I was attracted to when I was 18 wasn't as an attractive of a trait in our 40s. It took over a year after the divorce, but we are great friends now.

Oh you little shithead, I see your change to my post now. After I ramble on.....

[Jana]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

I didnt say he should care about how it looks to the world,,, but how it looks to his close and loved ones,,, to his wifes parents,, to the people that are around him,.,,,
I dont see ANYTHING wrong with him moving on and finding a new love,,,,I just think the marriage was way too quick,.,,, almost like if he was dating this girl while the wife was dying,,,,

and the day one comes a celebrity, any moves you make will be judged by others,,, some agree with what you do and some dont,,,,, You seem to think that if people dont agree with you, then they dont have a clue

My inlaws dated for 3 months and got married their 4th month together... they've been married for 41 years now. They didnt' have a dying spouse.. and wow, they fell in love that QUICK!! Amazing! And how do you know how it looks to his kids and family? They may be happy to see him happy again and maybe, just maybe she is a wonderful woman.

And no, I think you have no clue because you haven't seen a parent lose a spouse through death. It's living hte experience. And if his family is having a hard time, over time they will understand. It takes TIME.

That is completely different,,, I never said people should have a set time frame before they get married.,.,... there is no boundies for love,,, some get married in a week , some after years of dating,,,,
I also never said that he doesnt love this new woman, or he should never marry this one,,,,,, It is just not respectful to his wifes family to get remarried this quickly,,,,,,,


I can guarantee you that you wouldve felt totally different had your mom got remarried within a year after your father's passing,.,,,

It happens in a lot of families that a parent remarries within a year. He has actually married at ten months, not a year.

I would struggle, I'm not lying, if my dad did at maybe the year mark, but at that point, I'm an adult and would want him to be happy after watching him grieve so much. More importantly, though, I would have really struggled had he been proclaiming to everybody he was so in love after only months while I was in grief over my mother. I won't lie. I would not have been a happy camper. I've had friends it has happened to, that their parents fell in love within months and every one of them had issues with it and it affected the whole family, but eventually came around after a few years.

[Melissa]

Why are we comparing moving on quickly after death vs. divorce, by the way? Not the same ballpark.

Exactly, ridiculous and not even a comparison, just like the crime/murder thing

[Behshad]

And some of you bring up great points about how Kyle died too. It's just not something people who haven't been there, done that, can understand, and I give that benefit of the doubt to people who are being so f'n judgmental. Sitting and watching my mother die slowly for a year, losing parts and parts of her, and the same happening to my father because they were so much a part of each other, something rare anymore IMO, is just something that can't even be put into words. Until you see it, and feel it for yourself, there's just no way to know what people suffer through like this.

Exactly. It's the "in their shoes" thing that I mean. Until you are a child watching a parent's pain, you really have no idea how you will feel. It's not even the same as a grandparent. I watched grandparents lose their spouses too. But this is our mom and dad.... it's different... and you want them happy when you see their heart broken.

Do you think there's nothing to be said about the notion of there being some need of a "show of respect" in the wake of a long-time spouse's passing? That's my biggest issue. I think you owe it to someone (and their family+your kids if any) who gave his/her life to you for x years to wait at least a little while before putting yourself "out on the market" again. There's obviously no way to demarcate an arbitrary appropriate time period, but still... it's one of those things you just "feel." That's how I KNOW I'd feel.

You do make a good point there ..... Even if Sweet needed the companionship, he couldve just taken things a bit slower, out of respect for his wife and just dated this woman ,,,, Marrying someone that soon to me looks like "Next!" ,,,,

Why should he care how it 'LOOKS" to the world?? He is doing things for his own happiness and why should he have to answer to anyone for that. And slow? Does everyone wait 1 year, 2 years, 3 years to get to know someone to get married? I think not! How can time be judged that way. When it's right, you know it's right. And I just do not get how it's not respecting his wife. YOu nave no idea the things they may be doign to respect her memory. His new wife may be doing things that totally repect her. You people have no clue

I didnt say he should care about how it looks to the world,,, but how it looks to his close and loved ones,,, to his wifes parents,, to the people that are around him,.,,,
I dont see ANYTHING wrong with him moving on and finding a new love,,,,I just think the marriage was way too quick,.,,, almost like if he was dating this girl while the wife was dying,,,,

and the day one comes a celebrity, any moves you make will be judged by others,,, some agree with what you do and some dont,,,,, You seem to think that if people dont agree with you, then they dont have a clue

My inlaws dated for 3 months and got married their 4th month together... they've been married for 41 years now. They didnt' have a dying spouse.. and wow, they fell in love that QUICK!! Amazing! And how do you know how it looks to his kids and family? They may be happy to see him happy again and maybe, just maybe she is a wonderful woman.

And no, I think you have no clue because you haven't seen a parent lose a spouse through death. It's living hte experience. And if his family is having a hard time, over time they will understand. It takes TIME.

That is completely different,,, I never said people should have a set time frame before they get married.,.,... there is no boundies for love,,, some get married in a week , some after years of dating,,,,
I also never said that he doesnt love this new woman, or he should never marry this one,,,,,, It is just not respectful to his wifes family to get remarried this quickly,,,,,,,


I can guarantee you that you wouldve felt totally different had your mom got remarried within a year after your father's passing,.,,,

I guarantee you that you are wrong. My mom was in so much pain that I cried almost nightly for a year. You have no idea. If she had met kirk in a year or in 5 years I would have been happy for her. And you know, you don't owe your inlaws your happiness. Im very sorry.

Respecting others, specially your dead wife, isnt the same as OWING them anything... you should be very sorry for trying to force your opinion on us