Blueskies wrote:Its not the MR forum that's the main problem, it's the gossiping in PM and the offshoot forums that a member here starts where a group of friends, i.e. a "clique", gather. That in and of itself isn't a problem but when people start talking about members here and start gossip and attack threads about them to garner support from others due to the author holding a grudge, etc. then it develops an even broader scale "group think" which influences peoples views and tension and attitude is brought to this forum.
Many of us here know that the one called The Annex ended up causing a lot of bad blood between people. Many of us here that have been around awhile and especially those that were once a member of that offshoot forum know that there were indeed targeted planned attacks on people here on this forum from the clique that developed there.
I see the same thing happening on your offshoot forum, Beshad.
For example this thread started this week with me as the "topic" to discuss..
http://newwtf.forums1.net/wisdomtruthfr ... -t2131.htmThis is nothing but an example of gossip that causes bad blood between folks. It's stupid and childish. I don't think any right minded person would not see why I may have developed a bit of an attitude about a group of people here who participate in this kind of thing and yet they try to say the problem is all me and that they are just innocent "victims". Which is too ridiculous not to be funny. This is also just one example of a thread of this type. You have started several personal attack threads here on this forum as well, Beshad.
So like I said, it's not MR that's "horrible" or all of the people on it. It's the offshoot forums like yours that just brew more negativity which is then brought here by some as well as the one on one gossiping that goes on in PM.
After that is the problem of
people telling me to do as they say and not as they do. The you can dish it out but not take it, thing.
As the person who started that offshoot thread, I can tell you it was an expression of frustration with you and your attitude, especially your insistance that there is a clique railed against you. There is no single clique, but there are a lot of very different people who have all, over time, come to the same place:
we are tired of you.
We are tired of you judging our behaviour and our attitudes. You've told BJG off for talking like a man. You've told Carla off for flirting with someone in a way you didn't think was appropriate (and made some very factually incorrect statements about what she did at the same time.) You've told me off for telling you I thought you were wrong. You told S2M off for something he didn't do, in a thread where he was actually defending you. You've made countless value judgements against people, and many of them have been based on misunderstandings, and occaisionally on you completely getting it wrong. Most people here do the same thing every so often - but when it's pointed out to them that they have misread someone, or misunderstood what was said, or gotten the wrong idea, they back down and say 'ok, I got it wrong.' Except you - you've never appologised, you've never said 'sorry, I misunderstood'; it's always someone else's fault with you. And we are tired of it.
We are tired of you dragging out old personal fights and making them public. It's no secret that Nat/Angel and I dislike each other. There are some things that have happened between us, some of which have involved other people, that will never be forgiven or forgotten. But neither of us feels the need to spill it all over the board, and we are capable of having a discussion with at least a degree of civility, even when we're pissed off with each other. Most people involved in spats here do the same - except you. You insist on pulling out the same old story every time one of a certain group of people you have a personal history with makes any kind of comment about or to you. And we are tired of it.
We are tired of being attacked for holding an opinion that differs from yours. GI Jim and I are never going to agree on evolution, we each think the other is as wrong as you can be, we've even had some heated arguments about it, but we're still friendly, and we never let past debates spill over into what is being talked about now. I don't label him as always wrong because I think he's wrong on one issue, and most people here are able to do that - except you; you brand someone as wrong about something and then ignore everything they say, except to keep 'proving' that you are right and they are wrong.
We are tired of everyone being tarred with the same brush. I haven't called you names, I haven't been vulgar or abusive, I
did start a thread on another board, away from this site, that joking suggested we should call you a saint. I could have done it here, where I knew you would see it, but I decided there was no need to add fuel to the fire, so I made a private joke on another site. But I am being tarred with the same brush as though I were Yulog, Beshad, Dean or Dan, using abusive terminology. I don't like to see you being called horrible names, because I don't like to see
any woman being called those things. In the past, I've stood up for you, and I've received your abuse in return. Many other people have had the same experience. It's why we don't say anything now, because we know nothing will change. No matter what we do, defend you or stay silent, your response is the same and we are all against you.
We are tired of you deliberately baiting people. It's a horrible pattern to see - people stop responding to you and you start making posts, like you're poking the barking dog that went to sleep, deliberately trying to get it to kick off again. You can see it in this very thread. It's hard to watch that happen, time and again, without eventually concluding that you do it deliberately, that at least on a subconscious level, you like the fight, regardless of who you hurt, who you offend, who you upset.
We've all tried with you, Phyllis. Some of us tried longer, some didn't try very hard at all, but we all tried to be friends, we all tried to get along, we all tried to let the past be the past, and stuff that happened off board stay there, and move on, but you won't let it rest and you won't let us be friends. The fact is, plain and simple, you've worn us all out. No one has the patience to keep trying with you, even when we sympathise, even when we don't like
some of the things being said to you. You are rude, prickly, dismissive, argumentative and aggressive, and worse still, when ever someone says 'hang on, what about you', you absolutely refuse to look at your own behaviour, and instead turn everything back on the person who asked the question. I've said it before, I'll say it again - you have some good things to say, and some interesting insights and opinions; the problem is, you seem to be far more interested in picking fights with people and setting yourself up as a martyr.
So, please answer me one question, honestly and without affront - how many people have to say 'enough, I'm tired of your behaviour and attitude' before you will admit that maybe
you are wrong, maybe
you are the problem. I'd like you to consider the passage of your post I highlighted above: it would be nice if you could start applying it to
yourself with some honesty. And I'm wondering if you can do it without the attitude that other people should fix themselves first.
Why treat life as a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive & well-preserved body? Get there by skidding in sideways, a glass of wine in one hand, chocolate in the other, body totally worn out, screaming WOOHOO! What a ride!
