Funniest thing I've read in ages.

Strange Talking Street Medicine

Moderator: Andrew

Funniest thing I've read in ages.

Postby Arianddu » Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:34 pm

http://audreyowen.wordpress.com/

:shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: One can only hope the date originally posted is a huge clue.

Puts a whole new spin on 'basking in the glow'. :wink:
Why treat life as a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive & well-preserved body? Get there by skidding in sideways, a glass of wine in one hand, chocolate in the other, body totally worn out, screaming WOOHOO! What a ride!
User avatar
Arianddu
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 4509
Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:43 pm
Location: Adelaide, Australia

Postby Sarah » Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:51 pm

Image
Sarah
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1576
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:34 am
Location: Los Angeles

Postby Suzanne » Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:33 pm

Sarah- that's what I said after the first few lines. I need a good laugh today so I think I'll read this later when I get caught up at work. Thanks for posting it Ari. :lol:
Suzanne
8 Track
 
Posts: 617
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:35 am

Postby lindalut » Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:59 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Too funny
Linda
Image
User avatar
lindalut
Ol' 78
 
Posts: 141
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 5:28 am
Location: Seattle

Postby cinkidd » Wed Apr 14, 2010 1:02 am

Just wow. Let it be known that I have never taken a shot of the "glow" nor do I intend to, drugs are just bad, ask the doctor in the story and sure that is all the verification that you would need. On the other hand if this were true (complete load of glow) I probably would take a shot or thousand to have a chance to sing just a few lines like Perry, oh my.

Rich the Glow Guy
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
User avatar
cinkidd
45 RPM
 
Posts: 236
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:16 pm
Location: Jacksonville, FL - United States - Planet Earth

Postby Rockindeano » Wed Apr 14, 2010 2:27 am

Hey, before you all "laugh" at her, look in the mirror. With the exception of Sarah, who is the most sane "Loon" here, the rest of you are much more fucked up than this Blogger. I have read stuff here that makes this blogger read like Peggy Noonan. Let's be clear, the lot of you are really nice gals, quality people, BUT to say you aren't all fucked up in the dome when it comes to Perry would be wrong; you scare the shit out of me. I can only wonder what Stephen feels like. The poor bastard probably spend his days in the fetal position hunkered down in his walk in closet, trembling in extreme fear.
User avatar
Rockindeano
Forever Deano
 
Posts: 25864
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:52 am
Location: At Peace

Postby Ehwmatt » Wed Apr 14, 2010 2:55 am

Rockindeano wrote:Hey, before you all "laugh" at her, look in the mirror. With the exception of Sarah, who is the most sane "Loon" here, the rest of you are much more fucked up than this Blogger. I have read stuff here that makes this blogger read like Peggy Noonan. Let's be clear, the lot of you are really nice gals, quality people, BUT to say you aren't all fucked up in the dome when it comes to Perry would be wrong; you scare the shit out of me. I can only wonder what Stephen feels like. The poor bastard probably spend his days in the fetal position hunkered down in his walk in closet, trembling in extreme fear.


:lol: Ditto
User avatar
Ehwmatt
MP3
 
Posts: 10907
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2007 4:15 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby bluejeangirl76 » Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:42 am

Audrey Owen wrote:Every publisher I showed it to rejected it;


Noooooo. Really? :lol: :lol:
User avatar
bluejeangirl76
MP3
 
Posts: 13346
Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 5:36 am

Postby steveo777 » Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:54 am

Rockindeano wrote:Hey, before you all "laugh" at her, look in the mirror. With the exception of Sarah, who is the most sane "Loon" here, the rest of you are much more fucked up than this Blogger. I have read stuff here that makes this blogger read like Peggy Noonan. Let's be clear, the lot of you are really nice gals, quality people, BUT to say you aren't all fucked up in the dome when it comes to Perry would be wrong; you scare the shit out of me. I can only wonder what Stephen feels like. The poor bastard probably spend his days in the fetal position hunkered down in his walk in closet, trembling in extreme fear.


Spot on! :D
User avatar
steveo777
MP3
 
Posts: 11311
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:15 pm
Location: Citrus Heights, Ca

Postby Sarah » Wed Apr 14, 2010 5:49 am

Rockindeano wrote:With the exception of Sarah, who is the most sane "Loon" here, the rest of you are much more fucked up than this Blogger.

Why thank you, I've written my share of SP fanfic too, but at least I realize it sucked?
Sarah
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1576
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:34 am
Location: Los Angeles

Postby ChildInTime » Wed Apr 14, 2010 6:27 am

That's one thing I don't get about fanfiction... I get why people write it, especially teenage/young women, but... why publish it anywhere? It seems like such an odd thing to want to show off.
*open mouth, insert foot*
User avatar
ChildInTime
45 RPM
 
Posts: 322
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:16 am

Postby Jubilee » Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:36 am

Rockindeano wrote:Hey, before you all "laugh" at her, look in the mirror. With the exception of Sarah, who is the most sane "Loon" here, the rest of you are much more fucked up than this Blogger. I have read stuff here that makes this blogger read like Peggy Noonan. Let's be clear, the lot of you are really nice gals, quality people, BUT to say you aren't all fucked up in the dome when it comes to Perry would be wrong; you scare the shit out of me. I can only wonder what Stephen feels like. The poor bastard probably spend his days in the fetal position hunkered down in his walk in closet, trembling in extreme fear.


Puleeeze :roll:

Poor bastard? Poor bastard!?! If that poor 61 year-old bastard is curled up in the fetal position in his walk in closet (probably hiding under a pile of $100 bills with just his eyeballs showing), clutching his eighth note necklace, and seized by a trembling fear that there might be a gang of 40-something women out there somewhere...and 25 yrs after the fact, too?...Please... :roll: Every 60 year old dude should have such terrors. :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:
"I'm always on point like a decimal". -- Megan Thee Stallion
Jubilee
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1820
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:06 pm
Location: Right in the Middle

Postby Saint John » Wed Apr 14, 2010 11:30 am

Rockindeano wrote:Stephen


Dean, I hope you were being a smartass by referring to Perry this way. If there's one thing I've noticed over the years it's that the real fucking nuts, and I mean people that should be put in a fucking institution, lobotmized and locked in a cold, dark place till they die, call him "Stephen." :lol: :shock: :wink:
User avatar
Saint John
Super Audio CD
 
Posts: 21723
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2006 1:31 pm
Location: Uranus

Postby steveo777 » Wed Apr 14, 2010 11:32 am

Saint John wrote:
Rockindeano wrote:Stephen


Dean, I hope you were being a smartass by referring to Perry this way. If there's one thing I've noticed over the years it's that the real fucking nuts, and I mean people that should be put in a fucking institution, lobotmized and locked in a cold, dark place till they die, call him "Stephen." :lol: :shock: :wink:


Oh look! Crazy people calling crazy people crazy people! :lol: 8) :twisted:
User avatar
steveo777
MP3
 
Posts: 11311
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:15 pm
Location: Citrus Heights, Ca

Postby Rockindeano » Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:13 pm

Saint John wrote:
Rockindeano wrote:Stephen


Dean, I hope you were being a smartass by referring to Perry this way. If there's one thing I've noticed over the years it's that the real fucking nuts, and I mean people that should be put in a fucking institution, lobotmized and locked in a cold, dark place till they die, call him "Stephen." :lol: :shock: :wink:


Dude, are you ever sharp tonight. :roll: :wink: I tried to put Stephen in the proper setting. I did a good job didn't I? Of course I said "Stephen" purposefully. I heard Schon call him that when he was piss drunk in Boston, and he was making fun of him and his "admirers," err, herds of cattle.
User avatar
Rockindeano
Forever Deano
 
Posts: 25864
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:52 am
Location: At Peace

Postby steveo777 » Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:30 pm

So much for the loons having their own peaceful little forum.......... :lol: 8) :twisted:
User avatar
steveo777
MP3
 
Posts: 11311
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:15 pm
Location: Citrus Heights, Ca

Postby *Laura » Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:51 pm

Between Dan's post and Dean's walk down muddy memory lane, :lol: I think I am going to simply die laughing. :lol: :lol:
Image Available @ LuluBooks.com
User avatar
*Laura
Stereo LP
 
Posts: 3978
Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:51 pm
Location: Zen, SoCal

Postby bluejeangirl76 » Thu Apr 15, 2010 2:55 am

Jubilee wrote:(probably hiding under a pile of $100 bills with just his eyeballs showing),



Image
User avatar
bluejeangirl76
MP3
 
Posts: 13346
Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 5:36 am

Postby steveo777 » Thu Apr 15, 2010 2:56 am

bluejeangirl76 wrote:
Jubilee wrote:(probably hiding under a pile of $100 bills with just his eyeballs showing),



Image


Those kind of look like Steve's eyes, but how can we be sure? :lol:
User avatar
steveo777
MP3
 
Posts: 11311
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:15 pm
Location: Citrus Heights, Ca

Postby SherriBerry » Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:50 pm

I'm hoping that the author posted this on April Fool's Day because she knows how bad it is and meant it as a joke. I once read a fanfic story that detailed a romantic relationship between Steve and Neal (catching it halfway through so at first I didn't realize it was meant as fiction :shock:), but at least it was well written. My biggest surprise is that Dan hasn't commented on "Stevie, Jr" or SP being the product of alien intervention! :lol: :lol:
User avatar
SherriBerry
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1307
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:29 pm
Location: British Columbia, CANADA

Postby Michigan Girl » Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:08 pm

SherriBerry wrote:I once read a fanfic story that detailed a romantic relationship between Steve and Neal

I read that, it made me a little queazy!! :?
Michigan Girl
MP3
 
Posts: 13963
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:36 am

Postby SherriBerry » Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:21 am

Michigan Girl wrote:
SherriBerry wrote:I once read a fanfic story that detailed a romantic relationship between Steve and Neal

I read that, it made me a little queazy!! :?


Me too until I realized it was fiction! Then I wondered what the point was of making something like that up, particularly about real people. :?
User avatar
SherriBerry
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1307
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:29 pm
Location: British Columbia, CANADA

Postby Sarah » Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:18 am

SherriBerry wrote:
Michigan Girl wrote:
SherriBerry wrote:I once read a fanfic story that detailed a romantic relationship between Steve and Neal

I read that, it made me a little queazy!! :?


Me too until I realized it was fiction! Then I wondered what the point was of making something like that up, particularly about real people. :?

There are "slash" writers in every fandom. I think that many fanfic writers like to imagine real-life tension from their subjects as sexual tension. For instance, you'll find a lot of Harry Potter slash that pairs up bad guys like Snape or Draco with good guys like Harry or Dumbledore. Neal and SP had a lot of tension in real life so writers get creative imagining why they had that tension.
Sarah
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1576
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:34 am
Location: Los Angeles

Postby Ftloperry » Fri Apr 16, 2010 12:21 pm

bluejeangirl76 wrote:
Jubilee wrote:(probably hiding under a pile of $100 bills with just his eyeballs showing),



Image


:lol: :lol: :lol:
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't loose it."
--- Robin Williams
User avatar
Ftloperry
8 Track
 
Posts: 980
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 1:43 pm
Location: Space the final frontier

Postby SherriBerry » Fri Apr 16, 2010 5:46 pm

Sarah wrote:
SherriBerry wrote:
Michigan Girl wrote:
SherriBerry wrote:I once read a fanfic story that detailed a romantic relationship between Steve and Neal

I read that, it made me a little queazy!! :?


Me too until I realized it was fiction! Then I wondered what the point was of making something like that up, particularly about real people. :?

There are "slash" writers in every fandom. I think that many fanfic writers like to imagine real-life tension from their subjects as sexual tension. For instance, you'll find a lot of Harry Potter slash that pairs up bad guys like Snape or Draco with good guys like Harry or Dumbledore. Neal and SP had a lot of tension in real life so writers get creative imagining why they had that tension.


I was aware of it from Star Trek - there is some fanfic regarding a relationship between Capt. Kirk and Spock, but I think it has more to do with wishful thinking from gay fans. With fictional characters it's immaterial, but when it involves real people, it's a bit much.
User avatar
SherriBerry
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1307
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:29 pm
Location: British Columbia, CANADA

Postby Sarah » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:04 am

SherriBerry wrote: I think it has more to do with wishful thinking from gay fans.

Not at all! You're right that it's wishful thinking, but a good amount of slash writers are actually straight females.
Sarah
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1576
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:34 am
Location: Los Angeles

Postby Ehwmatt » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:55 am

Fag relationships among band members? lol. It's a firm reminder that although even a place like this is pretty friendly and has a lot of down to earth people, I don't doubt that some the crazier lot of you here have shrines to SP with pictures everywhere with alternating lipstick smooches and dart holes all over them, sit there flicking your beans to his image while getting more and more enraged that he hasn't released an album, and cut yourself while planning your eventual assassination attempt on the poor guy.

Geez, and we wonder why the guy won't let us hear or see jackshit from him :lol:
User avatar
Ehwmatt
MP3
 
Posts: 10907
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2007 4:15 am
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby perryfaithful » Sun Apr 25, 2010 4:21 am

"I am writing this to express my deepest regrets and to retract my story Steve Perry: A Generous Man."


I guess by the time I got around to reading this it was over.....
"In Journey, all the hit songs we had were based around Steve Perry's vocals."

Neal Schon
User avatar
perryfaithful
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1573
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2003 5:29 am

Postby ChildInTime » Sun Apr 25, 2010 7:14 am

Ehwmatt wrote:Geez, and we wonder why the guy won't let us hear or see jackshit from him :lol:


I know!

Seriously, is he the only semi-famous guy with this amount of creepy fan-girls? Or are they just more vocal and out there than other creepy fangirls? :?
*open mouth, insert foot*
User avatar
ChildInTime
45 RPM
 
Posts: 322
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:16 am

Postby SherriBerry » Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:06 pm

ChildInTime wrote:
Ehwmatt wrote:Geez, and we wonder why the guy won't let us hear or see jackshit from him :lol:


I know!

Seriously, is he the only semi-famous guy with this amount of creepy fan-girls? Or are they just more vocal and out there than other creepy fangirls? :?


I think they are just more vocal. At least he hasn't had to move to Switzerland like Tina Turner, Shania Twain, and Frida Lyngstad from ABBA.
User avatar
SherriBerry
Cassette Tape
 
Posts: 1307
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:29 pm
Location: British Columbia, CANADA


Return to Steve Perry

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest